Farewell Boleyn! Hello 90s European Championships!

This has taken me the best part of a week and a half to write. It was all very topical when I started. Now I need to get it finished and posted, primarily because I've written so much I feel it would be a waste not to share it. Can't vouch for it being all that though!

It’s all over! The league title has been sewn up, thank god! And West Ham have played their last game at The Boleyn Ground aka Upton Park. It was a great game as well, with twists & turns and a thrilling finale. The scenes outside were reminiscent of the 1927 White Horse Cup Final. Thousands of people turned up without tickets and you could barely move for West Ham fans.

Then we had the trouble. I didn’t actually see it. I only actually found out that something untoward had happened at half time in the game. I’ve now heard from everyone I’ve spoken to since is that West Ham fans were involved in a riot, that we’re hooligans. I can safely say that we are not hooligans, well not 99% of us anyway. Obviously that’s not what you’ll be fed but hey ho!

I enjoyed the game, as I said earlier, but what I didn’t enjoy was the crush before the game. Even though I got to meet Joey O’Brien, he was sandwiched against me for around 20 minutes as we shuffled towards the stadium. The crush outside  was actually quite frightening at times. There were kids crying ,having to be carried by their dads, and a sense of apathy among the police officers present. A number of heated conversations took place between fans and the police, with comparisons being made with Hillsborough. I even saw a police sergeant bollock his whole team for sitting in a van and watching  on while mayhem ensued. This all seems to have missed the reporting from that night though?

Instead there’s been a huge focus on what a minority of individuals did with the United team bus. Thankfully nobody was injured outside, and we didn’t have another Hillsborough. But the whole episode brought to light issues that I have touched upon in previous posts. The dehumanisation of football fans, with respect to Hillsborough; and the lack of regard for the experience of the match going fan from the Premier League and other authorities. Why wasn’t the United game played the previous midweek, allowing the last game at the Boleyn to be at a reasonable time i.e. the previous Saturday afternoon when we played Swansea?

Aside from the negatives (I know I moan a lot), it was a great send off from a famous old ground that I hold dear to me. I first went to Upton Park in the early 1990’s when I would have been around 11 or 12. I’d been going to football matches since the late 80’s but never been taken to see the team I loved due to the stigma attached to West Ham, and English football at the time. Being a young, black boy, my parents weren’t keen for me to go to grounds renowned for rowdy, sometimes racist, fans. So my early match experiences were in the more tame atmosphere across London at Loftus Road (long story).

Believe it or not though, in well over 25 years of going to watch West Ham (including away games and cup finals), while I’ve seen the odd boozed up moron, which is something all clubs have, I’ve only ever once heard something that I’d consider racist (the deplorable hissing sound that some people think is funny to make when playing Spurs) and have never felt threatened because of the colour of my skin or for any other reason for that matter. Instead, I’ve made loads of friends and have built up a bank of wonderful, and painful, football related memories.

Maybe I was fortunate and caught the Boleyn Ground at the right time in its history. Maybe racists are cowards, as people say, and as a result nothing questionable was ever said in my presence. Maybe I was just lucky on the whole. Who knows? What I do know is that I’ll miss sitting in queues of traffic on the A13 or people outside Upton Park Station. Squeezing through the turnstiles, where my 10 year old season ticket card barely works (it normally takes about 5 goes before it’s recognised), almost banging my head on the ceiling above the urinals; and all the other quirks of our, far from perfect, famous old stadium.

I’m done talking about domestic football, the season is pretty much over and people are announcing European Championship squads. As usual there’s been a spate of pre-tournament injuries, which means we’ll be robbed of seeing the strongest squads in France. Germany will be missing Gundogan, Italy will do very well to get to the quarter finals with both Marchisio and Veratti missing from their midfield. We’re missing Danny Wellbeck, who might not be the greatest player in the world, but can bring energy and enthusiasm going forward, especially at times when you need a goal. Even the Welsh are missing Joe Ledly, who once again is probably no world beater, but will definitely leave them considerably weaker. Maybe I was just oblivious to it all but I feel like this sort of thing never used to happen, except for when we didn’t have Gazza for Euro 92.

Speaking of Euro 92, my obsession with major international tournaments of yesteryear took me back to watching clips from this tournament. I keep hearing people compare Leicester’s recent league title win to Greece’s triumph at Euro 2004. Whenever I hear this I’m prompted to remind whoever it is I’m speaking to about Euro 92. In case you’re not familiar, the eventual tournament winners, Denmark, didn’t even qualify! That’s right, back when I was a kid there was this country called “Yugoslavia” who weren’t bad, in fact they had a “golden generation”, which had previously won the World Youth Cup. They had qualified for Euro 92, and would have been one of the pre-tournament favourites; but then they went and had a civil war, which evolved mass genocide, and UEFA kicked them out of the competition. Denmark were selected to take their place as they had finished 2nd to Yugoslavia in qualifying. What a story! And this was before the likes of Peter Schmeichel were household names, well in the UK anyway.

I think he was actually a turnip even though a swede made more sense?!?

Barring the Denmark shock Euro 92 was actually a bit boring. Last time round I spoke about how you can often marry European Championships to World Cups in terms of tactics, players and even silly things like fashion. Well Euro 92 was most certainly married to Italia 90! All I can remember from England's group is low scoring draws. In case you didn’t know, we failed to get out of the group, and were knocked out by one of my most prevailing childhood memories ,which produced one of my favourite ever  bits of commentary (said by the great Barry Davies of course). On top of this, Greame “Turnip (or Swede, I think it was actually Swede as Sweden knocked us out) head” Taylor took Gary Lineker off in favour of the less threatening Alan Smith! Denying Lineker the chance to equal Bobby Charlton’s goalscoring record. Worst decision ever, especially considering we had a young lad on the bench called Alan Shearer who was much better than Smith. I think that substitution summed up both Taylor’s reign as manager and Euro 92, Smith was more functional than exciting (I’m being generous with that description) and never amounted to anything internationally.

Then there was Euro 96. Football came home! Baddiel and Skinner wrote the first incarnation of Three Lions. We actually won a penalty shootout (Rafa Nadal's uncle seeing his penalty saved by Seaman)! Our only victorious shootout so far. Euro 96 was a bit of a disappointment for me. I can remember being really excited in the build up. Two years before I’d experienced my favourite World Cup, USA 94. And the European Championships had now been expanded to 16 teams, the format used right up until the last competition. I had high hopes.

I’m probably being harsh. You had Suker’s hattrick, including a lob, against the defending champions Denmark; Poborsky’s RIDICULOUS scoop lob against Portugal at Villa Park; and... and that was about it! See it was rubbish! I’m not even having England’s performances! I remember the draw against Switzerland where we let them back into the game, the patches of average play against Scotland and a pretty uninspiring 0-0 with Spain in the quarter finals. Euro 96 is always the subject of much romanticism because it was played over here and because we agonisingly went out on penalties in the semi finals; oh and because of the aforementioned Baddiel and Skinner song, which is always associated with the tournament. But it actually wasn’t that great. Well I don’t think it was anyway.

That's enough for now. I need to go and indulge in more clips of European Championships gone by. Maybe I'll try and dig out that Spain Yugoslavia game from Euro 2000, with Alfonso and his white boots or Figo's screamer against England...

Bye!

It's back!

The football's back, I think I'm finally over the World Cup, actually it's probably best we don't talk about the World Cup (you know, it's a bit of a faux pas to talk about your ex on a first date). The football season started last week for me with Reims v PSG in Ligue 1 on Friday, involved a bit of Ajax v Vitesse on Sunday and finally finished with the 2nd half of the Charity Community Shield (I missed the 1st half because I'd totally forgotten it was on). And now this week I'm off to The Boleyn for our first game of the season against Sp*rs, and I'm petrified. I just can't see how we'll get anything out of the game, not after beating them 3 times last year, and then there's all these West Ham fans I keep seeing online, "giving it" like it will be a walkover for us. I'm ashamed to admit it, but they're acting like Sp*rs fans. Touch wood we'll at least get a draw tomorrow and then I don't have to watch that game for another season (I really don't enjoy Sp*rs at home).

Everywhere I look there are previews of the season to come so I thought I'd do my own. Here's 10 things that you may (or may not) see this season.

Manchester United will be good again
I actually found it a bit uncomfortable with them being so bad last year. Especially when all the Liverpool lovers were lording it up. I expect to see an improvement from last year's showing at Old Trafford, not because I think David Moyes is the terrible manager that the media have made him out to be, or because Louis Van Gaal is the knight in shining armour that is also being painted. But because they can only get better, surely. That squad failed last year because it was terrible, not just because of Cleverly or Fellaini, because Fergie had neglected it for a couple of seasons. So this year what's different? Well they have Mata for a whole season and Ander Herrera from my beloved Athletic Club. Plus a fresh pair of scowling, hardened, taking no sh*t, eyes steering the ship in the form of the aforementioned "LVG". Surely they can't be that bad again this year right? Surely!

Arsenal go through the same cycle
We see it every year, they'll have a period where they play amazingly and people start saying, "Oooh! Are they dark horses for the title?" Sanchez will link up with Oeeeeeeeeeeeeerzil, Ramsey, Wilshere, Rosicky, Podolski,  Carzola, Walcott, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Ger-nab-ry and any other attacking midfielder/not quite a centre forward that they have and they'll look unbeatable. Then they'll have that month, the month that everyone's been saying is coming up, the one that's "a true test of their title credentials". The month where they play Man United, Man City, Chelsea, Liverpool in the cup, Bayern Munich in the Champions League, the Sega Team for Virtua striker and Pele and his crew from Escape to Victory. And they'll lose every one of those key games, which will make all the Sp*rs fans happy (and Facebook will blow up with Arsenal jokes). Then they'll get their sh*t together, put together a decent run and finish 4th. Why don't we just give them 77 points now and say they've finished 4th?

I couldn't find a picture of Micah Richards' bum, and if I'm being honest, felt a little uncomfortable searching for one. Take my word for it, it's huge!

Micah Ricahrds finally gets his chance?
Nah, he'll never get any games for City! Everyone knows Zabaleta has got right back locked down. Maybe he'll finally move on? Maybe this year Richards will do something else, like beat Kim Kardashian (and Hulk) to the title of Rear of the Year? And Jimmy Floyd Hasslebank will look on, wondering what might have been, had he still been in the public spotlight... Weird thought, I know. But Richards isn't getting anywhere near that City team and he does have a big a*se. There's more chance of the rear of the year thing happening!

Kim isn't gonna go down without a fight!

West Ham are average
At best! Is Enner Valencia going to score a ton of goals? Or maybe Mauro Zarate? Doubt it. We'll probably have given up on them come the end of November and it will be good old loyal Carlton Cole up top or even worse, the famed 4-6-0! Fingers crossed something decent will happen.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic's powers will start to decline
He took 7 minutes to open his account last week against Reims. And he ended up with a second by the end of the game. The guy is just phenomenal and he's now 33! Surely there'll be a season soon where he doesn't score 20+ goals. Is this going to be it, or is the French league too weak for the fact that he's the wrong side of 30 to matter at the moment? Watch this space, I think he's got another good season left in him.

Great to see Ashley fitting in already (far left)

Ashley Cole will tear it up in Italy
Another player who is 33 (the same age as me, god I'm old for a footballer) is Cashley. Who has decided to make the bold move of going to Roma. Fair play to him, I reckon there's still a season or two left in him and he could potentially do the business in a side that performed VERY well last year. Will he thrive though? Will the Curva Sud (I think Romanistas have the Curva Sud) be singing his name, like the Curva Nord did 20 odd years ago with a certain Paul Gascoinge? Will he be able to handle the intense Italian media? Will he even learn Italian (from what I've seen in the past he's just about got the hang of English)? I'm saying I think he will! I think Roma might win the league this year, down to their signings and Juventus being Conte-less/Allegri-full, come on Ashley show us that you're still a decent giocatore (that's Italian for "player" that is, you can have that one for free Mr Cole)!

I will watch the Eredivise in it's entirety
I'm not 100% sure this will happen, what with baby commitments and other leagues to watch, but for some reason last week I was a little drawn to that Ajax game. I found myself thinking, "You should watch this league more often.." Maybe I will, maybe I'll learn who the good and not so good players are (I pretty much knew NOBODY in the Ajax side until Daley Blind came off the bench). Let's say I will!

I still won't watch the German league
Screw that! I read an article the other day entitled, "Are you a Football Hipster?" and I can safely say I'm not as one of the main qualifiers was having a love for the Bundesliga. I appreciate that the German league has more goals, bigger attendances and some of the best players in Europe in it, but I just can't get on board. This must be how people who hate Italian football feel about Serie A.

Fernando Torres will start scoring goals again
Yeeeeeeeeeeah right! I'm also calling the Diego Costa signing not turning out the way Chelsea expected right now too. Nice and early!

Atletico Madrid will win back to back titles
We can dream. Barcelona and Madrid's response to not winning the league for the 1st time in like 20 years was to sign the best player from the World Cup just gone (Oh the World Cup! My beloved World Cup, I miss you! *sobs into a some tissues*) and the best player in the Premier League last season. Those guys are hurting! I can remember sweating like I was an Atleti fan last year towards the end of the season as they limped over the line in first place, having run out of steam. What are they going to do this year? Hopefully they'll sign Reus to go with Griezmann and Mandzukic (touch wood Song doesn't see him when they play Barca) and put up another great fight.

So it's back, the highs & lows, the twitter rants at the official West Ham account after an inept performance, watching La Liga, Serie A & Ligue 1 on a laptop while the Mrs watches X-Factor and steering clear of Facebook every time Sp*rs win. Come May some of us will be sick of it (my girlfriend definitely will), by that point I definitely won't be interested in watching games containing teams like Leicester and Palace by then unless West Ham are involved (by the way, Palace definitely screwed with Pulis leaving), but we'll have had another history making 10 months of football. Bring it on!!

Last night - Brazil vs Germany

So last light was pretty special eh?

How many of you predicted that was going to happen? It'll probably never happen again. It definitley won't happen in the final. I have to say, I was shocked. If you're not sure what I'm on about i.e. you've been living under a rock. Just to inform you, last night in the Semi Final of the 2014 World Cup, the hosts Braaaaaaaaasiiil Braaaaaaaaasiiil played Germany for the 2nd time ever in the World Cup. The two most successful World Cup nations of all time* going toe to toe for a place in the Final. And the game didn't disappoint did it. Why? Well because Dracula was refereeing!

I'm not messing about by the way. Check out who last night's referee was. I'm just surprised he was given the game, in the past I had got the impression that Dracula (Marco Antonio Rodríguez) wasn't a great referee, also he was the referee who, earlier in the tournament, missed the Luis Suarez bite on Georgio Chiellini. Oh the irony! A player biting an opponent (near his neck) when the ref was Dracula!! And getting away with it!!! He probably thought that was normal behaviour.

Didn't miss Marchisio's foul did you Dracula?!?

Just so you all know, that wasn't the only time a vampire has been involved in football this season. Anyone who follows me on Twitter (@ntrav99) may have seen my tweet from a few months ago when I saw a vampire lurking at an Athletic Bilbao game...

Eyeing up Susaeta's neck...

 Obviously I'm messing about re last night's game and there was a much bigger talking point that I'm leading on to. The biggest shock for me last night, and I'd suspect for many others who watched the game, was that Germany were playing in their away kit and it WAS NOT GREEN! What the hell? What is going on with football kit's nowadays? Tradition seems to be continually forsaken in the name of making Nike, Puma and Adidas a quick buck. Add to this that Sepp Blatter has already expressed a wish for teams to play in simpler kits as he feels it makes the referee's job easier.

This is THE German away kit! End of!

Screw that Sepp! We survived for over a hundred years with it the way it was and nobody ever complained of not being able to make two teams out (except for that time when Alex Ferguson made Man U change at half time because they were getting pummelled by Southampton).

Here's the deal, the following kit combinations should be kept to at all times, I expect this to be enforced in the next World Cup (in fact I might start one of those online petitions, I see petitions for anything these days).

England should play in white shirts, blue shorts and white socks. In the event that they play a team who predominately wears white they should switch to red shirts, white shorts and red socks. None of this all white rubbish! The same goes for France, where the hell have the white shorts gone?? Sometimes they don't even have red socks (sacrilege)!

Spain! Where the hell have the blue/navy/black shorts gone?!? You guys got too big for your boots, that's why you crashed out in the first round! Fix those shorts! We've already touched on Germany, but just to reiterate. Black shorts on the home kit. Green shirts, white shorts and green socks for the away kit. Don't make me have to write to Adidas!

They're barely red

Argentina, like Spain, need to bring back the black/navy shorts. Don't think I haven't noticed you trying to sneak white in instead! Mexico have tried a similar manoeuvre with their socks, this years socks are barely passable as red, they're more white! RED!

All I'm saying is all hell is gonna break loose in the Newton household if I ever ever ever watch Peru play and they don't have the red sash. I dare them to remove it!

I suppose I should probably talk about last night's result. Germany thrashed Braaaaaaaaasiiil Braaaaaaaaasiiil 7-1, which is now the new record score for a World Cup semi final (surpassing the two 6-1s in 1930). Braaaaaaaaasiiil Braaaaaaaaasiiil were diabolical, I mean I said they were bad, and they are, but last night they were particularly bad. I suppose it was coming though. In my opinion Braaaaaaaaasiiil Braaaaaaaaasiiil have had one decent game and that was against Cameroon, who we all know thought they were WWF (ha ha I said "F" again, World Wildlife Federation you can't sensor me!) wrestlers.

If you think about it Brazil were fortunate against Croatia, held by Mexico, almost knocked out by Chile (even though the Chileans didn't have their greatest game) and could only beat Colombia by kicking the cr*p out of "Hamez" Rodriguez (and had the cheek to try and make out like Zuniga meant to hurt Neymar).

So you know what, good riddance Braaaaaaaaasiiil Braaaaaaaaasiiil, that's what you get for leaving Kaka at home!

And that's all I have to say.

*In terms of games won, goals scored and finals reached, Italy have won more actual World Cups than Germany.

And if you know your 'History'...

History is a funny thing. You can make it. You can re-write it. I've got a degree in it. More importantly and in the context of this blog post, there's a phrase or should I say concept that is often banded around in the football world. That being the concept of a football team having 'History'.

Firstly I'm going to explain this concept for anyone that may not be as au fait (what the hell are you doing reading a blog on football it you're not?). In the last 20 years football has been transformed from a sport in which a few teams were dominant but outsiders stood a chance if they worked hard and luck went their way; to a game dominated by teams that are able to spend more money on a single player than some of the other competitors in their division spend assembling whole squads. With the increasing influence that money has has on the game there has been an influx of billionaire 'Sugar Daddys' purchasing average football clubs such as Chelsea, Manchester City & Paris Saint Germain and turning them into superpowers with the waive of a chequebook. As a result of this, naturally, there are a lot of jealous football fans and these football fans begrudge the likes of Chelsea stating that one of the main reasons for their dislike of them being that they don't have any 'History'. 'History' is essentially the footballing equivalent of 'Old Money', the concept of a team having the right to be successful because they have in the past and that newly successful teams have less right to 'mix it with the big boys', so to speak.

Personally I am not a fan of the concept of 'History' aka the footballing equivalent of the divine right of kings. There are a number of reasons for this, the first being that it's such a vague concept. A good 'History' is very hard to quantify, well nobody ever has quantified it for me. Do you consider a team that has won 10 trophies in the past to have 'History' or is it 15 or even 20? When looking at volume of trophies won shouldn't you also take into consideration how prestigious or difficult it was to win each one? For example you cannot equate a League Title won to a Zenith Data Systems Trophy (remember that one on Midweek Sports Special? Anyone who does, give yourself a pat on the back), a Southern League Title (West Ham won one of those once, and you don't hear me bleating on about it*) or even more relevant to modern day football a Littlewoods/Rumbelows/Coca Cola/Carling/Captital One Cup. I don't care what anyone says, not even two Rumbelows Cups equate to a League Title in my books!

*I may not bleat on about it but if I hear any more crap about teams not having 'History' I'm gonna write to West Ham suggesting we should have a star on our badge for our Southern League Title.

If your team won a trophy in this 'get up' you can say they have 'History'

Additionally, how long ago does a trophy have to have been won to be counted as 'History'? There are professional footballers who won't be old enough to vividly remember Chelsea's 1997 FA Cup victory, the trophy that is seen to have kicked off their period of relative domestic success. Yet Chelsea are the first team name on the lips of all critical wannabe 'Footballing Historians'. That trophy was won 16 years ago, how far back do I have to go? I feel a bit sorry for Chelsea (only a tiny bit), I bet Liverpool and Manchester United fans didn't have Sunderland and Aston Villa fans coming to them in the 1980's and 1990's saying that they had no 'History', that their success was worth nothing because when their teams were dominant you couldn't barge the goalkeeper over the line once he'd caught the ball (the protection that keepers get nowadays eh) and that their players never had to spend 5 days down a coal mine then  recover to wallop the opposition on a Saturday afternoon. Or did Sunderland and Villa fans (in case you're unsure as to why I'm picking Sunderland and Villa; they both can be argued to have 'History' in my eyes, especially when you go back to the earlier part of the 20th century) get stick off of fans of The Wanderers and Blackburn Rovers where does it end? Where does it end??

Another thing that really irks me regarding the concept of 'History' are the common misconceptions that people have with regards to teams that have 'History'. A typical example, and I swear I'm not picking on them, they spring to mind because I come across them all the time, is when I hear Sp*rs fans say that Manchester City have no 'History'. Now I'm not saying that Man City have 'History' but up until 3 years ago both Sp*rs and Man City had won the same number of league titles (that's 2 for those of you who didn't know, can't believe you didn't know that). I've then heard Sp*rs fans in the same breath, suggest that they have 'History' or have had periods where they dominated English football (and if you think I'm lying I'll 'out' said Sp*rs fans). Firstly I'd just like to make one thing clear, Tottenham Hotspur have NEVER had a period where they have dominated English football. Yes they were a strong side in the 60's and they have won the FA cup on a number of occasions (7 or 8, I can't remember off the top of my head and I can't be bothered to look it up) but they have not dominated English football. Secondly in my books 2 league titles is pretty comparable to 2 league titles. YES Sp*rs have won a hell of a lot more FA Cups but then anyone can win the FA Cup. Names are drawn out of a hat for Christ's sake, you could have the easiest draw in the world and get to the final, then the luck could be on your side on that one day. That's exactly what happened to Wigan this year and they got relegated. I mean West Ham have won the FA Cup 3 times! Speaking of  West Ham, I've even had people suggest to me that we have 'History'. We DO NOT have history! That's right. I said it, I don't care that West Ham are my team I'm being honest, fans need to sit and read a football history book before they start chucking the H-bomb about.

Finally let me set the record straight for all of you out there, well anyone that's still interested in Travis Newton's Whistle Stop Guide to English footballing history, most of you will have probably stopped reading by now. I must explain before I start naming names, in my eyes winning the League Title is the ultimate prize in football and is a true barometer of a teams strength as they will have, by winning it, proved that they are the best team in the land over a period of around 40 games; playing everyone else of a similar standard home and away over a 10 month period. No domestic cup competition can compare to the League Championship however the FA Cup is a prestigious competition which, it can be argued, is generally taken seriously by all teams big or small (except for that time when Man Utd went off to the World Club Cup and got schooled by Romario and Edmundo). The Littlewoods/Rumbelows/Coca Cola/Carling/Capital One Cup on the other hand is right down on the pecking order, anybody claiming to have 'History' who has mainly (or only) enjoyed success in that tournament needs  a serious talking to and will receive one if I ever find out about them. Now that I've set your expectations I'd like to declare that the following teams have 'History' and therefore their fans are allowed to sing the song that goes, "And if you know your history! Well it's enough to make your heart go! Woah! Woah! Woah! Woah...!" Anyone else is banned from doing so in my presence.

Liverpool
God I hate Liverpool, their fans are so smug and they are the biggest users of the H-bomb. Unfortunately you cannot argue with their claim to 'History'. They've even won the Littlewoods/Rumbelows/Coca Cola/Carling/Capital One Cup more times than anyone else.

Manchester United
The, self proclaimed, benchmark of English footballing dominance (in my eyes Liverpool are still more successful even at 20 titles to 18). It's testament to their success that I don't like them but can't actually think of a reason other than pure jealousy.

Arsenal
Kings of Southern England, nobody south of the Watford Gap comes anywhere near to these guys in terms of success. Anyone who suggests otherwise has either been smoking crack or is bad at addition, end of.

Everton
One that often slips under the radar of even the most learned football fan. I'm often accused of favouring them due to the ties I've had with them in the past. For those of you with lives and friends and that made it this far down (I'm not sure why you'd still be reading if you have a life), they have 9 League Titles, 5 FA Cups and a European Cup Winners Cup. They also are second in the list of teams with the longest run in the top flight AND even more importantly they sing, "And if you know your history..." THAT! My friends, is what you call 'History'.

Aston Villa
These guys can't be over looked in my eyes. Yes they've not had the most enjoyable last 15 years thanks to the likes of David O'Leary and Alex McLeish; but you cannot argue with 7 League Championships, 7 FA Cups, 5 Littlewoods/Rumbelows/Coca Cola/Carling/Capital One Cups and even a European Cup. And that European Cup was won in my lifetime (and I'm young guys, so that was pretty recent). Villa dominated the 1890's and I suspect (begrudgingly) that they were the inspiration behind West Ham's colours (although we traditionally have white socks), seen as we were formed in 1895. Imagine having so much 'History' that other teams copy your kit eh... Cough! Sunderland!

Other notable mentions are the likes of Sunderland and Blackburn Rovers. Although I'd argue that these teams like Newcastle, Tottenham, Chelsea, Man City, Sheff Weds and Sheff Utd have enjoyed some success but cannot sing the history song or claim to have 'History'.

And that, my readers, is a history of English Domestic Football according to me. You may disagree. You may think I have too much time on my hands. You may not care! You may only sing, "And if you know your history..." if you support Liverpool, Manchester United, Arsenal, Everton or Aston Villa (or maybe The Wanderers).

PS The Confederations Cup start this weekend!!!!

Erm... So...

I'm not really sure what I'm blogging about tonight I'm just going to ramble seen as I have no real theme or idea in my head. The Premier League started on Saturday, my summary of it is as follows. West Ham got off to a winning start. Aston Villa were terrible, and barely created anything all game. Kevin Nolan scored another 5 yard backpost tap in, if you've not noticed that that is all he does you need to. I say that's all he does, that's a lie, he does also argue with everything that moves. The three things I took note of from the game were, surprisingly, not related to the mediocre football I saw. The first was, Barry Bannan is bloody short! Simon Gillett short! Wikipedia says 5ft 7inches, absolutely no way!! I'm not having a bar of it, he's clearly entered that himself. You're not fooling us Barry! Secondly Aston Villa have a song much like West Ham that goes along the lines of:

"We're passing the ball!
We're passing the baaaaaaall!
Aston Villa
We're passing the ball!"

I'll assume from the above that the Villa fans, much like us at West Ham, are fed up of watching their side lump it diagonally to a big forward (swap Carlton Cole for Emile Heskey). When will these coaches learn? Hopefully Paul Lambert can improve things at Villa Park; based on what I saw, he needs to else Villa will be in trouble. The last of the things I noted was contrary to my comment regarding West Ham's usual sock colour in my post last week. I sat here and rubbished any colour accompanying Claret and Blue other than White. Only to discover at 3pm on Saturday when the two teams emerged from the tunnel, that this year West Ham's socks are in fact Claret. Herecy!!

These guys have got the little arms and  everything.  I don't believe that either are over 5ft 5in

In other Premiership news Van Persie-less Arsenal couldn't hit a barn door at home to Sunderland, Giroud had a perfect chance to score the winner on his debut and massively fluffed his lines. I swear I've seen this somewhere before? Manchester City and Chelsea both got off to winning starts, I was impressed by Aiden Azard's performance against Wigan, where he basically created both goals. I'm sure you're all reading this thinking, "Who the hell is Aiden Azard? Doesn't he mean Eden Hazard..." Well I've got news for you people, as with Azard's compatriot "Van-san Kompany", all commentators have now taken it upon themselves to give it the pretentious French pronunciation. Does this mean that if Christiano Ronaldo ever came back to the Premier League we'll have to start saying "Honaldo" in true Portuguese style?

Is he Irish? I thought he was Belgian?

City came from behind to beat Southampton, Aguero messed his knee up, thus potentially messing up my fantasy football chances and the champions were given a scare when the Saints staged a mid-2nd half comeback, which was kicked of by Ricky Lambert. The man is an absolute goal machine. Every season I say, "He won't get any thing year, he'll struggle with the step up to the division above..." and he proves me wrong (well he did last year, it's early days in the Premiership). Watch this space, he could be in for a good season.

Goal Machine

The two most successful teams in English football both got off to losing starts. When was the last time that happened (answers on a postcard)? For once I don't have a geeky stat accompanied with a joke about being socially awkward regarding that one. I'd genuinely like to know when the last time Liverpool and Manchester United both lost on the first day of the season (I might look that one up in the coming week, that'll make for a wild weekend, eh). Van Persie-ful Manchester United looked like they just got caught out on the day by a very impressive looking Everton side. Liverpool on the other hand, look shocking. Unfortunately (well fortunately for me, I don't like Liverpool) I think they're actually going to get worse this season, they seem to have steadily been getting worse over the last two decades and I don't think (based on their transfer activity during the summer) that Brendon Rodgers is going to turn things around. I suppose I could be wrong though Liverpool fans, I mean it's not like I predicted who'd win the Olympic football tournament...