It's back!

The football's back, I think I'm finally over the World Cup, actually it's probably best we don't talk about the World Cup (you know, it's a bit of a faux pas to talk about your ex on a first date). The football season started last week for me with Reims v PSG in Ligue 1 on Friday, involved a bit of Ajax v Vitesse on Sunday and finally finished with the 2nd half of the Charity Community Shield (I missed the 1st half because I'd totally forgotten it was on). And now this week I'm off to The Boleyn for our first game of the season against Sp*rs, and I'm petrified. I just can't see how we'll get anything out of the game, not after beating them 3 times last year, and then there's all these West Ham fans I keep seeing online, "giving it" like it will be a walkover for us. I'm ashamed to admit it, but they're acting like Sp*rs fans. Touch wood we'll at least get a draw tomorrow and then I don't have to watch that game for another season (I really don't enjoy Sp*rs at home).

Everywhere I look there are previews of the season to come so I thought I'd do my own. Here's 10 things that you may (or may not) see this season.

Manchester United will be good again
I actually found it a bit uncomfortable with them being so bad last year. Especially when all the Liverpool lovers were lording it up. I expect to see an improvement from last year's showing at Old Trafford, not because I think David Moyes is the terrible manager that the media have made him out to be, or because Louis Van Gaal is the knight in shining armour that is also being painted. But because they can only get better, surely. That squad failed last year because it was terrible, not just because of Cleverly or Fellaini, because Fergie had neglected it for a couple of seasons. So this year what's different? Well they have Mata for a whole season and Ander Herrera from my beloved Athletic Club. Plus a fresh pair of scowling, hardened, taking no sh*t, eyes steering the ship in the form of the aforementioned "LVG". Surely they can't be that bad again this year right? Surely!

Arsenal go through the same cycle
We see it every year, they'll have a period where they play amazingly and people start saying, "Oooh! Are they dark horses for the title?" Sanchez will link up with Oeeeeeeeeeeeeerzil, Ramsey, Wilshere, Rosicky, Podolski,  Carzola, Walcott, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Ger-nab-ry and any other attacking midfielder/not quite a centre forward that they have and they'll look unbeatable. Then they'll have that month, the month that everyone's been saying is coming up, the one that's "a true test of their title credentials". The month where they play Man United, Man City, Chelsea, Liverpool in the cup, Bayern Munich in the Champions League, the Sega Team for Virtua striker and Pele and his crew from Escape to Victory. And they'll lose every one of those key games, which will make all the Sp*rs fans happy (and Facebook will blow up with Arsenal jokes). Then they'll get their sh*t together, put together a decent run and finish 4th. Why don't we just give them 77 points now and say they've finished 4th?

I couldn't find a picture of Micah Richards' bum, and if I'm being honest, felt a little uncomfortable searching for one. Take my word for it, it's huge!

Micah Ricahrds finally gets his chance?
Nah, he'll never get any games for City! Everyone knows Zabaleta has got right back locked down. Maybe he'll finally move on? Maybe this year Richards will do something else, like beat Kim Kardashian (and Hulk) to the title of Rear of the Year? And Jimmy Floyd Hasslebank will look on, wondering what might have been, had he still been in the public spotlight... Weird thought, I know. But Richards isn't getting anywhere near that City team and he does have a big a*se. There's more chance of the rear of the year thing happening!

Kim isn't gonna go down without a fight!

West Ham are average
At best! Is Enner Valencia going to score a ton of goals? Or maybe Mauro Zarate? Doubt it. We'll probably have given up on them come the end of November and it will be good old loyal Carlton Cole up top or even worse, the famed 4-6-0! Fingers crossed something decent will happen.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic's powers will start to decline
He took 7 minutes to open his account last week against Reims. And he ended up with a second by the end of the game. The guy is just phenomenal and he's now 33! Surely there'll be a season soon where he doesn't score 20+ goals. Is this going to be it, or is the French league too weak for the fact that he's the wrong side of 30 to matter at the moment? Watch this space, I think he's got another good season left in him.

Great to see Ashley fitting in already (far left)

Ashley Cole will tear it up in Italy
Another player who is 33 (the same age as me, god I'm old for a footballer) is Cashley. Who has decided to make the bold move of going to Roma. Fair play to him, I reckon there's still a season or two left in him and he could potentially do the business in a side that performed VERY well last year. Will he thrive though? Will the Curva Sud (I think Romanistas have the Curva Sud) be singing his name, like the Curva Nord did 20 odd years ago with a certain Paul Gascoinge? Will he be able to handle the intense Italian media? Will he even learn Italian (from what I've seen in the past he's just about got the hang of English)? I'm saying I think he will! I think Roma might win the league this year, down to their signings and Juventus being Conte-less/Allegri-full, come on Ashley show us that you're still a decent giocatore (that's Italian for "player" that is, you can have that one for free Mr Cole)!

I will watch the Eredivise in it's entirety
I'm not 100% sure this will happen, what with baby commitments and other leagues to watch, but for some reason last week I was a little drawn to that Ajax game. I found myself thinking, "You should watch this league more often.." Maybe I will, maybe I'll learn who the good and not so good players are (I pretty much knew NOBODY in the Ajax side until Daley Blind came off the bench). Let's say I will!

I still won't watch the German league
Screw that! I read an article the other day entitled, "Are you a Football Hipster?" and I can safely say I'm not as one of the main qualifiers was having a love for the Bundesliga. I appreciate that the German league has more goals, bigger attendances and some of the best players in Europe in it, but I just can't get on board. This must be how people who hate Italian football feel about Serie A.

Fernando Torres will start scoring goals again
Yeeeeeeeeeeah right! I'm also calling the Diego Costa signing not turning out the way Chelsea expected right now too. Nice and early!

Atletico Madrid will win back to back titles
We can dream. Barcelona and Madrid's response to not winning the league for the 1st time in like 20 years was to sign the best player from the World Cup just gone (Oh the World Cup! My beloved World Cup, I miss you! *sobs into a some tissues*) and the best player in the Premier League last season. Those guys are hurting! I can remember sweating like I was an Atleti fan last year towards the end of the season as they limped over the line in first place, having run out of steam. What are they going to do this year? Hopefully they'll sign Reus to go with Griezmann and Mandzukic (touch wood Song doesn't see him when they play Barca) and put up another great fight.

So it's back, the highs & lows, the twitter rants at the official West Ham account after an inept performance, watching La Liga, Serie A & Ligue 1 on a laptop while the Mrs watches X-Factor and steering clear of Facebook every time Sp*rs win. Come May some of us will be sick of it (my girlfriend definitely will), by that point I definitely won't be interested in watching games containing teams like Leicester and Palace by then unless West Ham are involved (by the way, Palace definitely screwed with Pulis leaving), but we'll have had another history making 10 months of football. Bring it on!!

The Footballing Schlieffen Plan

Ok, I'm really really really really really really really sorry! I've been so lazy recently. Recently?? Ok I've been so lazy in the last few months, thing is I've been meaning to write updates to this blog and have seen tons of stuff, both football and non-football (for the ladies, wink wink) related. I have no idea why I'm winking or typing about winking to imaginary women reading my blog, bear with me here people.

So what's been happening? Well in terms of me, not much has changed, I say that but I mean in respect of my living/working situation, I'm pretty much doing all the same stuff I was doing back in the summer when I was on here moaning about West Ham and regaling you all with my humorous observations from the European World Cup. One massive thing that has changed in my life is that I purchased FIFA 13, now I'm a lover of the odd computer game especially football/cricket ones and last year I found myself in a situation where I wasn't too enamoured with any of the new football games that came out in October/November. For those of you not in the know (mainly the ladies, wink wink, I'm kidding, just continuing the joke), I'm talking about the trilogy of FIFA, Pro Evolution Soccer and Football Manager (Championship Manager in old money) for years these games have ruined relationships, caused weight gain and aided the breaking of inanimate objects in the bedrooms (and sometimes lounges) of men aged 13-40 all over the world. And FIFA 13 is kinda doing this to me. Now I'm not saying I've broken anything and I don't feel my relationship with the Mrs has suffered (and I don't intend on that ever being the case) but my evenings have definitely changed. No longer do I come home from work looking forward to making a decent meal and watching some TV with my flatmates. Now all I can think about is how I can improve my Hull City side in our momentum gathering march towards domination of the footballing world. Well the EA Sports footballing world. I find myself thinking of tactics and potential transfer targets on the walk to the train station in the morning. Going over missed opportunities and (perceived) bad refereeing decisions in the shower and yes, every so often I do lose it and turn into a snarling football manager. A snarling manager being gently nudged back into the technical area by the 4th official, on the brink of being sent to the stands for dissent. Why does this happen to me? Why do I care? Why FIFA 13? I didn't care much for FIFA 12 or 11 and I've barely touched Pro Evo or Championship Manager (yeah that's right 'Old Money') in the last 4/5 years. Whatever it is, it must be a good game cos I'm hooked, I've put on over a stone and a half since the summer (that's no lie) and haven't done any exercise in about 2 months. God help me!!

Cheers for the token gesture Lazio, but there are always going to be  morons in the world. It's one of those things.

In the real, Travis Newton isn't the manager of Hull City and they are still in the Championship, footballing world a lot has happened. I'm not going to go into it all, in fact I'm going to try and keep this part of my post really brief. So here it is. Zlatan's been doing it again, an this time it was against England, so begrudgingly some pundits have had to accept that maybe they were wrong and he is a little better than a pub footballer. Racism is the buzz phrase/word whatever you wanna call it, it seems to all happening in terms of race at the moment. There's talk of a black PFA, black players are refusing to wear Kick It Out t-shirts, The England Under 21's were abused in Serbia, my own fellow West Ham fans behaved appallingly at White Hart Lane the other day and fans are now being continually picked out for making monkey gestures at black players. My opinion on it all (and there's no humour here unfortunately), people are idiots, not all of us (thank god) but a lot of people. And football fans & players are no exception. Is there a problem with racism? Yeah, because it shouldn't really be prevalent in any walk of life in this day and age, not when we have as much knowledge at our disposal as we currently do, with the internet and all that; or with the world being as 'small' as it is now. People should know better! As for football fans, people seem to think that it's acceptable to do something when in a crowd (or a mob) as there is less chance of them being singled out for punishment (that's how riots start), in addition to that, footballers seem to think it's ok to say whatever they want to their peers as it's deemed to have been done 'in the heat of battle'. Bollocks! Players, fans and people in ordinary society that resort to racism are ignorant halfwits. Rant over!

Dog poo!

Now for the bit relating to the title. Aside from getting bed sores from sitting around all day playing FIFA I have also embarked on a little project. A project that, like FIFA, probably does me no favours in being attractive to the opposite sex (although the Mrs hasn't complained yet). Anyone with a little historical knowledge will know that the Schlieffen Plan was a plan devised by a German general, which basically led to World War One, that centred around fighting a war on two fronts. The plan was that Germany were to march through Belgium in 6 weeks, beating the French; then turn back and beat the Russians before they even knew what had hit them. As a spoiler for those that know nothing history wise, they got stuck in Belgium for 4 years, which was basically World War One. Now my Schlieffen plan involves following a European top flight football league on numerous fronts. Let me get things straight here, I often watch a lot of foreign football and follow the European leagues fairly closely; to the point that I'd even say I've followed two leagues in a season before. Normally The Premiership along with either Serie A or La Liga. This year I'm taking it to a new level. So of course I'm following the Premiership, what with West Ham in it I go to a game once every fortnight or so. In addition to that I am avidly following Serie A, I'd say at least a game a weekend and making sure I see highlights of all the others. I'm trying to keep up my following of the Spanish League especially with respect to seeing my team Athletic Bilbao (who are having a horrible season this year) but I'm struggling what with the Italian games getting it the way and the Mrs' love of X Factor, damn the scheduling of those Spanish games! I am also (yeah that's right I'm greedy) trying to watch the French League, what with PSG and this injection of cash I'm intrigued to see how things pan out for them this season. I've seen a couple of live games but am mainly watching highlights. At the same time my fingers and thumbs are in the pies that are the German and Dutch leagues. I really want to watch more German football but it's hard to squeeze it in, especially if I want to have a life and a girlfriend (and if I want to take Hull to Champions League glory). So in summary here's what I've learned from my own Schlieffen Plan. Pescara are dog poo. Wow they're bad, saw them win this weekend, how I have no idea?!? Anybody who thinks QPR or Reading are bad, you've seen nothing. The Italian league is full of goals and great forwards, people that talk about it being defensive haven't got a clue, Cavani, Milito, El Shaarawy, Di Natale, Miccoli, Klose, Toni Goals! Every week. And I have no idea who is going to win the thing, Do Juve need a striker? Have Inter turned a corner? Has Milan's start hindered them? Can Lazio/Napoli/Fiorentina challenge this year? Love it! Falcao is immense! He's basically keeping Atletico Madrid in touch with the guys at the top. Bilbao on the other hand are struggling bad. Is it time for Bielsa to go? PSG are very very disjointed. They struggle without Zlatan and they're playing in a league where the competition isn't very good. They should walk it if they get their act together (but probably wont). There are also some very weak goals scored in both the French and Dutch leagues. Finally, there are some very good sides in Germany, Bayern look epic but Dortmund look like they can match them, they have however been stretched by the Champions League.

And that, my readers, is a war on multiple fronts!

Erm... So...

I'm not really sure what I'm blogging about tonight I'm just going to ramble seen as I have no real theme or idea in my head. The Premier League started on Saturday, my summary of it is as follows. West Ham got off to a winning start. Aston Villa were terrible, and barely created anything all game. Kevin Nolan scored another 5 yard backpost tap in, if you've not noticed that that is all he does you need to. I say that's all he does, that's a lie, he does also argue with everything that moves. The three things I took note of from the game were, surprisingly, not related to the mediocre football I saw. The first was, Barry Bannan is bloody short! Simon Gillett short! Wikipedia says 5ft 7inches, absolutely no way!! I'm not having a bar of it, he's clearly entered that himself. You're not fooling us Barry! Secondly Aston Villa have a song much like West Ham that goes along the lines of:

"We're passing the ball!
We're passing the baaaaaaall!
Aston Villa
We're passing the ball!"

I'll assume from the above that the Villa fans, much like us at West Ham, are fed up of watching their side lump it diagonally to a big forward (swap Carlton Cole for Emile Heskey). When will these coaches learn? Hopefully Paul Lambert can improve things at Villa Park; based on what I saw, he needs to else Villa will be in trouble. The last of the things I noted was contrary to my comment regarding West Ham's usual sock colour in my post last week. I sat here and rubbished any colour accompanying Claret and Blue other than White. Only to discover at 3pm on Saturday when the two teams emerged from the tunnel, that this year West Ham's socks are in fact Claret. Herecy!!

These guys have got the little arms and  everything.  I don't believe that either are over 5ft 5in

In other Premiership news Van Persie-less Arsenal couldn't hit a barn door at home to Sunderland, Giroud had a perfect chance to score the winner on his debut and massively fluffed his lines. I swear I've seen this somewhere before? Manchester City and Chelsea both got off to winning starts, I was impressed by Aiden Azard's performance against Wigan, where he basically created both goals. I'm sure you're all reading this thinking, "Who the hell is Aiden Azard? Doesn't he mean Eden Hazard..." Well I've got news for you people, as with Azard's compatriot "Van-san Kompany", all commentators have now taken it upon themselves to give it the pretentious French pronunciation. Does this mean that if Christiano Ronaldo ever came back to the Premier League we'll have to start saying "Honaldo" in true Portuguese style?

Is he Irish? I thought he was Belgian?

City came from behind to beat Southampton, Aguero messed his knee up, thus potentially messing up my fantasy football chances and the champions were given a scare when the Saints staged a mid-2nd half comeback, which was kicked of by Ricky Lambert. The man is an absolute goal machine. Every season I say, "He won't get any thing year, he'll struggle with the step up to the division above..." and he proves me wrong (well he did last year, it's early days in the Premiership). Watch this space, he could be in for a good season.

Goal Machine

The two most successful teams in English football both got off to losing starts. When was the last time that happened (answers on a postcard)? For once I don't have a geeky stat accompanied with a joke about being socially awkward regarding that one. I'd genuinely like to know when the last time Liverpool and Manchester United both lost on the first day of the season (I might look that one up in the coming week, that'll make for a wild weekend, eh). Van Persie-ful Manchester United looked like they just got caught out on the day by a very impressive looking Everton side. Liverpool on the other hand, look shocking. Unfortunately (well fortunately for me, I don't like Liverpool) I think they're actually going to get worse this season, they seem to have steadily been getting worse over the last two decades and I don't think (based on their transfer activity during the summer) that Brendon Rodgers is going to turn things around. I suppose I could be wrong though Liverpool fans, I mean it's not like I predicted who'd win the Olympic football tournament...

Summer is over!

That's right people. It's set to be the hottest weekend of the year this weekend but summer is actually over. Why? Because the football season has started and as you probably know football is a winter sport. Last week we saw the beginning of the new season marked with the traditional curtain raiser the Charity Community Shield (when the hell did it become the 'Community Shield'? And what was so charitable about it in the past?) As with all football matches of a certain level these days, it was full of drama, you had a dud super signing scoring for once, a seemingly obligatory, red card and a late goal which spiced things up and produced the usual game of Snach between the goalkeeper and the attackers. Racist John Terry managed to keep his nose clean for the majority of the game and Tearaway Carlos Tevez produced the goods. Football is definitely back!

It was all going off at Villa Park

Before I start on the new season I feel I should mention  this summer's footballing events. We had a great tournament in the form of Euro 2012, where we discovered, Spain are as annoyingly good as they were 2/4 years ago, Germany still aren't quite ready, Roy Keane is very close to killing someone, England and Ireland are useless despite what FIFA or the tabloids over here think and I have no ability when it comes to predicting football results (as if France were ever going to win it). Or do I? See on top of Euro 2012 we had an Olympic football tournament that, for once, contained the home nations; and as a result got far more coverage over here than recent tournaments. I correctly (that's right, CORRECTLY) predicted in April, with some outside assistance, that Mexico were going to win the tournament but as with all of the few wagers that I make that come true, I lost my nerve when it came to placing my bet and only placed £1. That's right! One measly English (or British) Pound, at 10-1. For anyone who doesn't understand gambling, that means I won ten times my original stake (£10), plus my stake back (£1). For all of about 5 minutes, before I'd  checked my Bet365 account, I managed to convince myself that back in April I'd grown some gambling testicles and places a £10 bet, but no! I saved that for my Nostradamus like Euro 2012 soothsayings. Yes that's right, I'll have £10 on France, a team that until this year hadn't won a game at a major tournament without Michel Platini or Zinedine Zidane playing, since the 1958 World Cup (geek) but I'll only put a £1 on the team that came 3rd in the last Under 20 World Cup and won the last Under 17 version, IN AN UNDERAGE TOURNAMENT! You can probably sense, at present I'm As sick as a Parrot (do Parrots tend to suffer from sickness more than other animals/birds? Maybe they're just hypochondriacs...? I spelt that right the first time! Booooom!). Finally I must mention, England are up to 3rd in the FIFA world rankings, what the...? If anything I'd say we've got weaker since the World Cup what with the likes of Lampard and Gerrard staring to age. And we've hardly had better results in tournaments. Now I've not looked at who are above us in the rankings but I'm assuming that Spain are (obviously, everybody's still bumming them), then you have a host of teams that could rightly stake a claim to being above us. There's Uruguay, current Copa America champions and 3rd place finishers at the last World Cup. Unfortunately it doesn't matter how much everyone hates Luis Suarez the stats put them above us. Holland, who may have had a distasterous European World Cup (still saying it) but finished 2nd in the last World Cup. Germany, who have pretty much been awesome for the last four years (to be fair they're always awesome, it's just that now everyone likes them). They were 4th in the last World Cup (and knocked us out along the way), and got to the Semis of the European World Cup (AND were runners up in 2008). And Italy, who were runners up in the most recent European World Cup and dumped us out (while thoroughly outclassing us for 120 minutes). In my mind, either Trevor Brooking has got some serious dirt on Sepp Blatter, who I discovered this week has a Twitter account? Who wants to follow him "Just picked up some money from an Arabic friend... #Qatar2022 #BackTheBid". I'm sure it's better than that I'm just not following him; or Blatter feels so bad about awarding the 2022 World Cup to Qatar (the games better be on a decent times in the day) that he feels the need to compensate unlucky bidders like England.

I knew they'd do it!

Back to the new season, West Ham kick off with a home game against Aston Villa tomorrow, the battle of claret and blue. I always resent the fact that people who don't follow football much mistake West Ham for Villa. They don't have white socks! What kind of crazy man would design and claret and blue kit with claret or blue socks?!? It's madness I tell ya! As with our next two fixtures and going back to a post I did a few weeks ago, tomorrow's game is massively impinging on a social event that I need to attend tomorrow. I'll be missing our home clashes next  month with Sunderland and Fulham due to social events. Can people please start checking the football league calendar!!

There's no escaping him!

With a new season come things like fantasy football leagues too. Now I enjoy a good fantasy football league but a couple of things annoy me. The first is that you never get enough money, I'm always left scouring all the Wigan defenders or midfielders for a player that will get enough games to get points but not too many games, cos you know those Wigan players will end up with a negative score. Is Alcaraz any good this year? Who the hell is Alcaraz anyway? Isn't that an old prison in America? The second thing that grinds my gears is that they take so much maintenance. Why do I have to name a captain? And a reserve goalkeeper? Just let me choose 11 players and give me the option to change say three of them in January. This isn't actually the Premier League! Next they'll be asking us to hold virtual training sessions during the week...

The last thing I wanted to say with regards to the new season is, what the hell is the Capital Once Cup?!? And why did it start last Saturday? The League Cup is for weekday evenings only (except the final and maybe one of the semis). And Capital One?!? I was just getting used to Carling and quite frankly would rather we called it the Littlewoods or Rumbleows Cup, those were the days. When Forest were the only team that ever won it! Now Liverpool are the new Forest!

Ok so everybody enjoy the new season, can we please stop talking about Van Persie going to Manchester United, it's done now. The way some Arsenal fans have been carrying on, you think he killed a member of their family. And the way some Sp*rs fans have been carrying on... well they're acting the same way they always do, first to goad and setting themselves up for egg on their faces. And finally yes the Premiership is back but it IS NOT better than the World Cup or European World Cup! Fact!

See you later...

10 Things: Week 3 - 10 Reasons why I'm glad West Ham are back in the Premiership

4 days on from West Ham's Playoff Final triumph and I've not really given it much thought, until now that is. They've already emailed me to say, "Thank you for (my) loyalty" and also told me that season Tickets are already available starting at £600 (a rise of £70 from last year for me), but my thoughts are currently with the impending European Championship which starts in a fortnight's time. This evening I sat down and thought to myself, "Phew! I'm relieved West Ham are back in the Premiership", here's ten reasons why...

The risk of becoming a "Championship Team" (and subsequently a "League One" team)
My dad is an Ipswich fan, totally random considering he doesn't have a tractor and hasn't been near a farm in years, we often speak about Ipswich and their struggles in trying to return to the Premiership. Unfortunately Ipswich's poor form in the last 25 or so years seems to have beaten all of my dad's optimism out of him, he says to me that it isn't worth them reaching the top flight again as they'll only become the, "Whipping boys" (he actually says "Whipping Boy" in his slight West Indian accent, they never pronounce the "S") and will struggle to compete every week. I disagree, by staying in the Championship Ipswich have, and West Ham ran the risk of, becoming a Championship side, as other Championship sides get better eventually they then struggle to stay in the Championship and run the risk of being relegated to League One. See Leeds, Nottingham Forest and Charlton for examples.

Rubbish ball

That rubbish looking Mitre ball they play with
Everything about the Premiership looks better, for example they get a nice crisp new Nike ball every year. What does the Championship get? Some rubbish little Mitre ball! The Nike ball looks light and high tech, the Mitre like a heavy marble. No wonder most Championship teams just hoof it, there's not much you can do with that rock. And to add insult the injury the Football League say, "Ok we recognise it's a terrible ball so we'll give you one in the colour of your team to play with..." Not good enough! It's like when you get bored on FIFA and you go into the options and start playing around with the unusual balls you can use. "Ooooh!! There's a purple Puma ball..." No! Go out and invest in a decent Nike or Adidas ball, they're £15.99 for two in Sports Direct!

Having to stay up after Match of the Day has finished
Does anyone actually watch the Football League Show?? I barely watch Match of The Day and when I do I'm definitely not awake by the end of it when they're showing a 0-0 at the DW between Wigan and West Brom, so I'll be damned if I'm staying up to wait for them to show 30 seconds of West Ham versus Doncaster. The pundits are rubbish, Steve Clarridge and Leroy Rosenior, really?? As for the games, I have no idea what is going on, they show extended highlights of a game in the Championship, then some Championship goals, then some League One highlights, then some more Championship goals again? What? Give it up BBC.

Games on a Tuesday
As a fan who has held a season ticket for 8 years if there's one thing I hate it's games that take place at any time other than at 3pm on a Saturday. Rushing home from work (sometimes not even going home first), not having dinner, getting in between 10:30-11:00 and to make matters worse the games are always 7:45 kick offs so you struggle to get there on time. They seem to play EVERY Tuesday in the Championship. Use your brains and think of the fans Football League!

Games on a Friday
All of the issues you get with games on a Tuesday then add in that you'll probably want to be out with your mates rather than watching your team take on Coventry City. Once again the Football League showing that they give the fans no thought when they plan the football season.


Games pretty much whenever they can squeeze them in
On top of playing pretty much EVERY Tuesday and plenty of Friday's there's Saturday night's every Bank Holiday, Lunch Breaks whenever they can squeeze a game in. Arrrrrrgh!!


The Premiership song
I love the Premiership song My Saturday Self, I'm not sure why? I think when I hear this for the first time next season it will dawn on me that West Ham are back in the top flight. When I went to my first Championship game since 2005 at the beginning of the season there was an awkward silence after the teams came out (after Bubbles had finished playing), in my head I was humming the Premiership tune. I wont have to come August/September.


Getting to sing, "John Terry! Your mum's a thief...!" solidly for 90 minutes
The only other song that exists in the Premiership that can compete with My Saturday Self is this tribute to John Terry's Mother's penchant for taking items from supermarkets without exchanging them for money. Word of the street is also that, "She'll be running round Tesco's with the shopping in her bag..."

Mmmmmmmmmm Lasagne

Playing Sp*rs
I do love playing Sp*rs, their fans will say it means more to us than it does them, as if they're some sort of superclub and to us playing them is a cup final. I enjoy it because I hate them, and they hate us and the game fills me with fear and excitement, and Sp*rs have a habit of charitably gifting struggling clubs with points, thanks for the 4 points last time Sp*rs! Didn't help though did it, can we have 6 next season?


The risk of bankruptcy
All jokes aside West Ham and other teams that get relegated from the Premiership face the prospect of being financially ruined if they don't get back up within a few seasons. I've read that this season our owners had budgeted for us going back up immediately so failure to get back into the top flight was seriously not an option. You only have to look at the likes of Portsmouth and Leeds as examples of what can happen to teams once relegated from the Premiership. Such is the nature of football nowadays, what with the millions of pounds flowing through it every day, unfortunately in order for us to have highs like the Premiership and the Champions League we have to have lows too. Investing in football teams is as good as gambling nowadays unless you have billions...

Anyway I'm rambling now, we're back in the top flight and those were 10 reasons why I'm glad we are. That's the end  of domestic football chat until July for me, bring on Euro 2012.