Hillsborough, Tottenham and Euro 88

It’s been a while (as always), I’ve been meaning to post something (as always). Now I have tons to talk about. I’m going to try and be as succinct as possible. Here goes…

He's the sort of bloke that used to come out and complain about you playing football in the street

So straight off the bat, sorry off the bat is one of those w*nky things people say in work meetings like Starter for 10 and Let’s park that! No more w*nky office jargon. I’ll begin with the Premier League title race. It’s all but over now. Thank god! I was getting seriously worried Tottenham were going to win it. So worried I stuck £25 on them at 15/8 (would have won £65, including my stake). But they messed up, they drew with Tony Pulis’ West Brom this Monday and have now put Leicester in a position where they only need 2 points to secure their first (and maybe only, in my lifetime) league title.  I bet Pulis was so happy! He’s got that “party pooper” air about him. That, turn on the lights, “Everybody go home! Your parents have been called…!” look about him (I think I’ve stolen that from the Football Ramble? Not sure? If I have, sorry! I’ve just given you free advertising there anyway! And I kind of thought that before you brought it up!).

Anyway Spurs probably won’t win the league now and I’m delighted. There’s been a lot of Spurslike reaction to this too, “I bet all the mugs backing Leicester are happy now… Shut up Arsenal fans! At least we got this far…! It’s all a conspiracy (I’ve genuinely seen this)…!” This is my main reason for not wishing my fellow Londoners well. While I know some decent Spurs fans who are measured in their opinions on football, the majority of them show about as much humility in victory, as a 5 year old who’s just won a game of pass the parcel at their best mate’s birthday party! I genuinely fear for us all if that lot ever win the league. So come on Leicester! Pick up those two points so we can all breathe a sigh of relief.

PS genuine well done to Tottenham (as much as it pains me to say it), probably the strongest, but obviously not statistically the best, team in the country this season. Please revert to type next season!

Let’s move away from talk of the league (in case Tottenham do go and win it). As you may or may not know, this week in court, it was found that the victims of the Hillsborough disaster were unlawfully killed.

While this will never make up for the 27 years of hurt experienced by the affected families or bring back any of the 96 people that died, I believe it’s a step in the right direction. I’m always appalled by the when I read about the initial reactions of the police, politicians of the day and media outlets when I read the Hillsborough story; as well as the fact that the disaster happened in the first place. I think it strikes a chord with me as I go to watch so much football and see so many families and kids at games.

When I then read the sorts of comments made by the likes of David Cameron (don’t even start me on that guy), Margaret Thatcher and The S*n newspaper I’m infuriated. In what other world would families go out on a weekend to an event, to see something they enjoy, for entertainment; be killed as a result of negligence on the part of the event organisers and then be criminalised by politicians and the media. Yeah we had (and probably still have to an extent) a hooligan problem within football in the 1980s, but 22 of the victims were kids! Were these hooligans? Would The S*n/Thatcher have come out and said what they did had these been middle class families at the theatre? Or more realistically, 96 nightclub goers? It’s absolutely disgusting. In my opinion, anybody with a public voice who has attempted to trivialise the disaster and its effect on the families involved, or criminalise the victims should be held to account for their comments, no matter how long ago, and sacked! And I will never EVER buy The S*n newspaper (or even have it in my house), I can’t understand how any football fan would. Just my opinion, mind you.

On to a more jovial subject. It’s coming up to summer in an even numbered year, which can only mean one thing…! MAJOR INTERNATIONAL TOURNAMENT! The Mrs is already dreading it. I’ve given soft signals as to my unavailability between Friday 10^th of June and Sunday 10^th of July. I’m even going!! Yes! Italy v Sweden in Toulouse on the 17^th June. I can’t wait! Oh by the way, I forgot to mention what tournament it is, for any lay people who still read this (I fear those numbers have dwindled). It’s the European Championships aka the EuropeanWorld Cup (not The Euro or The Euros! God I hate that phrase)! It took a while for me to get excited for this one. I think that happens with every European World Cup, due to the more low key build up in the media compared to a “World” World Cup. But I’m well up for it now. And I’ve started my countdown doing what any self respecting saddo would do, scavenging and scouring the internet for info, videos & stories to add to the stuff I’ve already seen (or know) about past European World Cups. Just to top my really weird obsession, I’ve split my “research” by tournament and by week starting with Euro 88. I’ll get on to why in a minute but I’ve already f*cked this up because there are 7 tournaments for me to look at but only around 5 weeks until the tournament starts, saying that I probably won’t be that fussed by the time we get to the last few tournaments, although Euro 2008 was one of the best tournaments in recent years in my opinion.

So why start with Euro 88? Well if you’re a geek like me and know you European Championship history, you’ll know that pre 1980 it wasn’t much of an actual tournament. There was a long qualifying competition which resulted in 4 teams being left at the end to play the semis and the final. It all had a bit of a glorified Emirates Cup feel about it. I mean Germany (West pre 1992) didn’t even enter the first few. Then 1980 was an awful competition from all I’ve read, so awful that I can only just about remember the finalists and the score. Apparently it was dominated by hooliganism and low scoring matches and played in half empty stadiums. It will be of no surprise to some people to hear that Euro 80 was held in Italy (all though the low scoring thing doesn’t ring true nowadays, but that’s another subject). And then Euro 84, which by all accounts was a marvellous tournament, seems to have been wiped off the face of the earth in terms of any historical footprint. I think it’s because we didn’t qualify and everyone thought it was going to be as sh*t as Euro 80.

Then came Euro 88, and the game changed! First of all, amazing stat, Euro 88 is the only major international tournament (of the modern day at least) to have not had a single red card, own goal or knockout match decided by penalty shootout. Based on my hatred of penalty shootouts (bring back replays for big games), that’s a winner in my opinion. And Euro 88 looks great! By that I mean images of it, both still and moving. It’s not as bright and colourful as Mexico 86 but it’s certainly not as dark and dingy as Italia 90. I always think World Cups and European Championships can be married up to an extent, in terms of fashion i.e. kits, haircuts etc, tactics and to a lesser extent star players. Euro 88 was definitely more in line with the aforementioned, and historically popular, Mexico 86. It also shares the fact that missed it due to my being not that interested in football at a young age (not until the winter that followed, when I was around 8). God I wish I’d have started watching a year earlier! I think the mystique of it being a tournament that I missed, makes it all the more interesting.

Much like Euro 84 and 80, in fact any European World Cup, Euro 88 wasn’t our finest hour. England’s record at the tournament reads: played three, lost three, scored two, conceded seven! The key moments of the campaign being an opening match up with the Republic of Ireland, making their debut at the European World Cup (parallels with Wales this year?); and an epic battle with, the eventual champions, Holland, where Marco Van Basten sunk us with a hat trick.

I managed to dig out a video of the ITV build up, along with half time and full time analysis for the England v Ireland game, which in my opinion is hilarious due to the late Brian Clough’s completely dismissive, “We’re England you know!” attitude when speaking about the Irish chances of winning the game. In addition I dug out THE FULL official video of the Tournament (produced by Worldmark as always) Tor! Total Football, which is narrated by none other than Craig Charles. I must say I impressed myself with this find, it’s the height of “Geekiry”. I didn’t even realise European World Cups had official videos, if you’ve got a spare hour (and you give a sh*t) I can recommend it!

Right I’m off to immerse myself in Euro 92, which will largely involve me wondering why Graham Taylor subbed Lineker (he deserved Rooney’s record) and saying “…Brolin! Dahlin! BROLIN!” in my best Barry Davies accent.

That wasn't very succinct was it.

Chat sh*t get banged!

And if you know your 'History'...

History is a funny thing. You can make it. You can re-write it. I've got a degree in it. More importantly and in the context of this blog post, there's a phrase or should I say concept that is often banded around in the football world. That being the concept of a football team having 'History'.

Firstly I'm going to explain this concept for anyone that may not be as au fait (what the hell are you doing reading a blog on football it you're not?). In the last 20 years football has been transformed from a sport in which a few teams were dominant but outsiders stood a chance if they worked hard and luck went their way; to a game dominated by teams that are able to spend more money on a single player than some of the other competitors in their division spend assembling whole squads. With the increasing influence that money has has on the game there has been an influx of billionaire 'Sugar Daddys' purchasing average football clubs such as Chelsea, Manchester City & Paris Saint Germain and turning them into superpowers with the waive of a chequebook. As a result of this, naturally, there are a lot of jealous football fans and these football fans begrudge the likes of Chelsea stating that one of the main reasons for their dislike of them being that they don't have any 'History'. 'History' is essentially the footballing equivalent of 'Old Money', the concept of a team having the right to be successful because they have in the past and that newly successful teams have less right to 'mix it with the big boys', so to speak.

Personally I am not a fan of the concept of 'History' aka the footballing equivalent of the divine right of kings. There are a number of reasons for this, the first being that it's such a vague concept. A good 'History' is very hard to quantify, well nobody ever has quantified it for me. Do you consider a team that has won 10 trophies in the past to have 'History' or is it 15 or even 20? When looking at volume of trophies won shouldn't you also take into consideration how prestigious or difficult it was to win each one? For example you cannot equate a League Title won to a Zenith Data Systems Trophy (remember that one on Midweek Sports Special? Anyone who does, give yourself a pat on the back), a Southern League Title (West Ham won one of those once, and you don't hear me bleating on about it*) or even more relevant to modern day football a Littlewoods/Rumbelows/Coca Cola/Carling/Captital One Cup. I don't care what anyone says, not even two Rumbelows Cups equate to a League Title in my books!

*I may not bleat on about it but if I hear any more crap about teams not having 'History' I'm gonna write to West Ham suggesting we should have a star on our badge for our Southern League Title.

If your team won a trophy in this 'get up' you can say they have 'History'

Additionally, how long ago does a trophy have to have been won to be counted as 'History'? There are professional footballers who won't be old enough to vividly remember Chelsea's 1997 FA Cup victory, the trophy that is seen to have kicked off their period of relative domestic success. Yet Chelsea are the first team name on the lips of all critical wannabe 'Footballing Historians'. That trophy was won 16 years ago, how far back do I have to go? I feel a bit sorry for Chelsea (only a tiny bit), I bet Liverpool and Manchester United fans didn't have Sunderland and Aston Villa fans coming to them in the 1980's and 1990's saying that they had no 'History', that their success was worth nothing because when their teams were dominant you couldn't barge the goalkeeper over the line once he'd caught the ball (the protection that keepers get nowadays eh) and that their players never had to spend 5 days down a coal mine then  recover to wallop the opposition on a Saturday afternoon. Or did Sunderland and Villa fans (in case you're unsure as to why I'm picking Sunderland and Villa; they both can be argued to have 'History' in my eyes, especially when you go back to the earlier part of the 20th century) get stick off of fans of The Wanderers and Blackburn Rovers where does it end? Where does it end??

Another thing that really irks me regarding the concept of 'History' are the common misconceptions that people have with regards to teams that have 'History'. A typical example, and I swear I'm not picking on them, they spring to mind because I come across them all the time, is when I hear Sp*rs fans say that Manchester City have no 'History'. Now I'm not saying that Man City have 'History' but up until 3 years ago both Sp*rs and Man City had won the same number of league titles (that's 2 for those of you who didn't know, can't believe you didn't know that). I've then heard Sp*rs fans in the same breath, suggest that they have 'History' or have had periods where they dominated English football (and if you think I'm lying I'll 'out' said Sp*rs fans). Firstly I'd just like to make one thing clear, Tottenham Hotspur have NEVER had a period where they have dominated English football. Yes they were a strong side in the 60's and they have won the FA cup on a number of occasions (7 or 8, I can't remember off the top of my head and I can't be bothered to look it up) but they have not dominated English football. Secondly in my books 2 league titles is pretty comparable to 2 league titles. YES Sp*rs have won a hell of a lot more FA Cups but then anyone can win the FA Cup. Names are drawn out of a hat for Christ's sake, you could have the easiest draw in the world and get to the final, then the luck could be on your side on that one day. That's exactly what happened to Wigan this year and they got relegated. I mean West Ham have won the FA Cup 3 times! Speaking of  West Ham, I've even had people suggest to me that we have 'History'. We DO NOT have history! That's right. I said it, I don't care that West Ham are my team I'm being honest, fans need to sit and read a football history book before they start chucking the H-bomb about.

Finally let me set the record straight for all of you out there, well anyone that's still interested in Travis Newton's Whistle Stop Guide to English footballing history, most of you will have probably stopped reading by now. I must explain before I start naming names, in my eyes winning the League Title is the ultimate prize in football and is a true barometer of a teams strength as they will have, by winning it, proved that they are the best team in the land over a period of around 40 games; playing everyone else of a similar standard home and away over a 10 month period. No domestic cup competition can compare to the League Championship however the FA Cup is a prestigious competition which, it can be argued, is generally taken seriously by all teams big or small (except for that time when Man Utd went off to the World Club Cup and got schooled by Romario and Edmundo). The Littlewoods/Rumbelows/Coca Cola/Carling/Capital One Cup on the other hand is right down on the pecking order, anybody claiming to have 'History' who has mainly (or only) enjoyed success in that tournament needs  a serious talking to and will receive one if I ever find out about them. Now that I've set your expectations I'd like to declare that the following teams have 'History' and therefore their fans are allowed to sing the song that goes, "And if you know your history! Well it's enough to make your heart go! Woah! Woah! Woah! Woah...!" Anyone else is banned from doing so in my presence.

Liverpool
God I hate Liverpool, their fans are so smug and they are the biggest users of the H-bomb. Unfortunately you cannot argue with their claim to 'History'. They've even won the Littlewoods/Rumbelows/Coca Cola/Carling/Capital One Cup more times than anyone else.

Manchester United
The, self proclaimed, benchmark of English footballing dominance (in my eyes Liverpool are still more successful even at 20 titles to 18). It's testament to their success that I don't like them but can't actually think of a reason other than pure jealousy.

Arsenal
Kings of Southern England, nobody south of the Watford Gap comes anywhere near to these guys in terms of success. Anyone who suggests otherwise has either been smoking crack or is bad at addition, end of.

Everton
One that often slips under the radar of even the most learned football fan. I'm often accused of favouring them due to the ties I've had with them in the past. For those of you with lives and friends and that made it this far down (I'm not sure why you'd still be reading if you have a life), they have 9 League Titles, 5 FA Cups and a European Cup Winners Cup. They also are second in the list of teams with the longest run in the top flight AND even more importantly they sing, "And if you know your history..." THAT! My friends, is what you call 'History'.

Aston Villa
These guys can't be over looked in my eyes. Yes they've not had the most enjoyable last 15 years thanks to the likes of David O'Leary and Alex McLeish; but you cannot argue with 7 League Championships, 7 FA Cups, 5 Littlewoods/Rumbelows/Coca Cola/Carling/Capital One Cups and even a European Cup. And that European Cup was won in my lifetime (and I'm young guys, so that was pretty recent). Villa dominated the 1890's and I suspect (begrudgingly) that they were the inspiration behind West Ham's colours (although we traditionally have white socks), seen as we were formed in 1895. Imagine having so much 'History' that other teams copy your kit eh... Cough! Sunderland!

Other notable mentions are the likes of Sunderland and Blackburn Rovers. Although I'd argue that these teams like Newcastle, Tottenham, Chelsea, Man City, Sheff Weds and Sheff Utd have enjoyed some success but cannot sing the history song or claim to have 'History'.

And that, my readers, is a history of English Domestic Football according to me. You may disagree. You may think I have too much time on my hands. You may not care! You may only sing, "And if you know your history..." if you support Liverpool, Manchester United, Arsenal, Everton or Aston Villa (or maybe The Wanderers).

PS The Confederations Cup start this weekend!!!!

I'm back (like Thomas Rosicky)

Guess who's back...

I'm so so so so sorry. I have been mega lazy in the last few months and haven't posted since January. As the title of the post says, so is Thomas Rosicky; the difference is Rosicky has, allegedly, been away doing a load of coke with Jack Wilshire (do not sue me Arsenal or Thomas/Jack, this is what I have heard, I'm not saying it is fact). Whereas I have... Erm, what have I been doing? Here's ten things I've been doing instead of blogging:-

Being blocked on Twitter by Richard Keys
It's now been 159 days. What the hell are you playing at Keysey? You and Andy Gray may have once dominated Ford Super Sunday but you have very little clout on the internet. Unblock me so that I can tell you how out of touch you are with the real footballing world!! Cowaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard!

Moving house
Absolutely nothing to do with football. I moved house on the 27th April to about 2 mins down the road from where I was. The only link I can think of to do with football is that on the day I moved I hurried into my new flat in the hope that I'd catch Man City v West Ham, which was on Sky that afternoon. I got to see the game whilst struggling to put together a self assemble sofa that should have taken a few minutes. Wish I'd never bothered...

Struggling to watch god awful games at Upton Park
That leads me on to the next thing I've been doing. As you may know if you've read my blog before, I have a season ticket at West Ham. Now while I am very glad that we comfortably survived our first season back in the top flight (and showed a hell of a lot more backbone than we did in our previous two seasons in the Premiership); I can't lie, I witnessed some of the most mundane football I've seen EVER. Particularly the Wigan and Reading games. We're talking games so bad you start checking Twitter at around 30 minutes and making conversation with the guy, you only know through having a season ticket, who is having a baby in August may I add. Congratulations, guy who's name I don't know (he's only been there 2 seasons)! Games so bad you feel sorry for the poor buggers that have made the long trip all the way down from Wigan, I mean they still use a horse and cart up there right (please don't hate me, people of Wigan, I'm kidding, it's what I do)?!? Long and short of it all, they were bad games.

Full of "pluck"

Shedding a tear for the minnows of Europe's top divisions
I never used to care about cannon fodder. Especially if they were playing West Ham (to be fair I still don't care if we're playing them in a meaningful game), who am I kidding West Ham are cannon fodder, sometimes, so I'd be damned if I wanted other cannon fodder to do well. Can't have them stealing our plaudits for being "plucky". This season I have cared. It started with lowly Pescara. Poor Pescara! Initially it was just that I noted that they had Vladimir Weiss and Ivan Pelizzoli playing for them, then I started playing with them on FIFA 13, now I wan't to go and watch them playing in Serie B at the Adriatico (yeah I know the name of their ground, I'm Italian me)! Shame they're useless eh. I also developed a soft spot for Wigan in the past season, that was born out out liking the fact that they "play good football" and even more so they play with 3 at the back!! I was so glad that they won the FA cup, especially seen as everyone wrote them off before the game even started. It's a shame that Wigan went down, I'll certainly miss their open brand of (sometimes poorly organised) football.

Getting angry at FIFA 13
Earlier this week I tweeted this link to another site as I felt this totally summed up my experience of playing FIFA13 online. Unfortunately, my gripes do not stop there, don't worry I'm not going to launch into a geeky rant regarding the flaws of FIFA13's single player mode. I will say this though, for the sake of my health FIFA14 better not contain defenders that run out of the way intentionally and referees that award random penalties. Sort it out EA Sports, my blood pressure can't take it!

Back to racing on a Thursday night!

Praying Tottenham don't finish in the top four
To me Tottenham are like Dick Dastardly in Wacky Racers. Nobody (other than Tottenham fans) wants them to win; they look like they're finally going to win, then right at the last minute they f*ck it all up, the rest of the field stream past them and the Ant Hill Mob end up winning the race. This season was like no other Dick Dastardly raced into a 7 point lead over Penelope Pitstop in March, cue all of Dick Dastardly's fans bombarding social networking sites with drivel about how Penelope Pitstop hadn't won the Wacky Races Championship in years (even though Dick himself has never been renowned for his race wining ability), was well past her best and how Dick Dastardly's time had now come. Cut to May and Dick Dastardly had chucked it all away again, despite Mutley basically carrying him single handedly through the race (Mutley won him 27 points), leaving Penelope to sneak across the line right at the last minute. God I hate Dick Dastardly! I can't wait for Mutley to go to another cartoon...

Playing 7 a side football on a Thursday
Can professional footballers stop going down to Fairlop Power League on Thursday evenings to play in their 7-a-side league! Now I'm no professional footballer, I'm not even good enough to have a tale of having trials at a well known football club when I was 14, but at the same time I'm no mug when it comes to playing the beautiful game. When we entered the league we were told we were going to be put in the bottom division and our eyes lit up. We'd played 7-a-side before at Fairlop on a Tuesday, had managed to win the 2nd division and even hold our own in the top one, so the bottom division on a Thursday. No problem. Bring on the Cannon Fodder! And it started like this, we won our first few games handsomely. Every week we'd salivate as teams full of beer bellied over 35 year old men assembled at the bar prior to our game, speculating as to which unlucky 7 were going to fall at our hands on this occasion. There was even talk of playing me up front if it got too easy (I'm a goalkeeper for those of you who don't know). Then it all came crashing to a halt. One week we arrived to see a group of lads at least 5 years our junior and a waist size or so smaller. "It's ok, we're in the bottom league. These will be sh*t." we said. And then it began... In the last 3 months we've probably won 2 or 3 games, bear in mind we play EVERY week so we've probably played somewhere between 12 and 15 games. We're now the guys they smile about when we arrive at the bar, we're the beer bellied over 30 year olds! It's not fair! We were the new team playing in a league that we were clearly too strong for. Now they are. I'm going to start emailing some Premiership teams tipping them off that some of their academy/reserve players may be taking part in un-sanctioned physical activity on a Thursday. When I arrive at the bar I'm fed up of hearing, "I don't know much about these lot lads, they're a new team..."


Counting down to the World Cup
I love the World Cup. This time next year I'll be counting the days down until it all kicks off in Brazil. I've kind have already began (382 days).

Counting down to the Confederations Cup
Every summer that isn't a World Cup summer I have to find a substitute. This is the only way I can get over the depression that there isn't a World Cup on (this is the actual truth). The best substitute is the European Championships (or European World Cup to those of you in the know). Failing that we also have Copa Americas and The Confederations Cup. The thing I like about The Confederations Cup is that it is a tiny tiny insight into what the next World Cup is going to be like. For example, anyone who saw the last one would have heard the Vuvuzelas and known that it was going to be a key feature of South Africa 2010. I have no idea what Brazil 2014 will be like, I'm pretty sure Tahiti won't be there but none the less I'm bursting with excitement about this years Confederations Cup. Look out for updates on here, 20 days to go!!

Making plans to start blogging again
I'm not going to lie. I have embarked on an intense program of procrastination. Ideas for stuff to blog about have popped into my head in the last few months and there have been times when I've got as far as turning on my laptop in anger, but for some reason or another nothing happened. For anyone out there who enjoys reading this stuff I genuinely apologise (mum). I will not leave it a few months again until I return. I'll be back soon with my thoughts on the hot topic of debate within the footballing world that is "History"...

10 Things: Week 3 - 10 Reasons why I'm glad West Ham are back in the Premiership

4 days on from West Ham's Playoff Final triumph and I've not really given it much thought, until now that is. They've already emailed me to say, "Thank you for (my) loyalty" and also told me that season Tickets are already available starting at £600 (a rise of £70 from last year for me), but my thoughts are currently with the impending European Championship which starts in a fortnight's time. This evening I sat down and thought to myself, "Phew! I'm relieved West Ham are back in the Premiership", here's ten reasons why...

The risk of becoming a "Championship Team" (and subsequently a "League One" team)
My dad is an Ipswich fan, totally random considering he doesn't have a tractor and hasn't been near a farm in years, we often speak about Ipswich and their struggles in trying to return to the Premiership. Unfortunately Ipswich's poor form in the last 25 or so years seems to have beaten all of my dad's optimism out of him, he says to me that it isn't worth them reaching the top flight again as they'll only become the, "Whipping boys" (he actually says "Whipping Boy" in his slight West Indian accent, they never pronounce the "S") and will struggle to compete every week. I disagree, by staying in the Championship Ipswich have, and West Ham ran the risk of, becoming a Championship side, as other Championship sides get better eventually they then struggle to stay in the Championship and run the risk of being relegated to League One. See Leeds, Nottingham Forest and Charlton for examples.

Rubbish ball

That rubbish looking Mitre ball they play with
Everything about the Premiership looks better, for example they get a nice crisp new Nike ball every year. What does the Championship get? Some rubbish little Mitre ball! The Nike ball looks light and high tech, the Mitre like a heavy marble. No wonder most Championship teams just hoof it, there's not much you can do with that rock. And to add insult the injury the Football League say, "Ok we recognise it's a terrible ball so we'll give you one in the colour of your team to play with..." Not good enough! It's like when you get bored on FIFA and you go into the options and start playing around with the unusual balls you can use. "Ooooh!! There's a purple Puma ball..." No! Go out and invest in a decent Nike or Adidas ball, they're £15.99 for two in Sports Direct!

Having to stay up after Match of the Day has finished
Does anyone actually watch the Football League Show?? I barely watch Match of The Day and when I do I'm definitely not awake by the end of it when they're showing a 0-0 at the DW between Wigan and West Brom, so I'll be damned if I'm staying up to wait for them to show 30 seconds of West Ham versus Doncaster. The pundits are rubbish, Steve Clarridge and Leroy Rosenior, really?? As for the games, I have no idea what is going on, they show extended highlights of a game in the Championship, then some Championship goals, then some League One highlights, then some more Championship goals again? What? Give it up BBC.

Games on a Tuesday
As a fan who has held a season ticket for 8 years if there's one thing I hate it's games that take place at any time other than at 3pm on a Saturday. Rushing home from work (sometimes not even going home first), not having dinner, getting in between 10:30-11:00 and to make matters worse the games are always 7:45 kick offs so you struggle to get there on time. They seem to play EVERY Tuesday in the Championship. Use your brains and think of the fans Football League!

Games on a Friday
All of the issues you get with games on a Tuesday then add in that you'll probably want to be out with your mates rather than watching your team take on Coventry City. Once again the Football League showing that they give the fans no thought when they plan the football season.


Games pretty much whenever they can squeeze them in
On top of playing pretty much EVERY Tuesday and plenty of Friday's there's Saturday night's every Bank Holiday, Lunch Breaks whenever they can squeeze a game in. Arrrrrrgh!!


The Premiership song
I love the Premiership song My Saturday Self, I'm not sure why? I think when I hear this for the first time next season it will dawn on me that West Ham are back in the top flight. When I went to my first Championship game since 2005 at the beginning of the season there was an awkward silence after the teams came out (after Bubbles had finished playing), in my head I was humming the Premiership tune. I wont have to come August/September.


Getting to sing, "John Terry! Your mum's a thief...!" solidly for 90 minutes
The only other song that exists in the Premiership that can compete with My Saturday Self is this tribute to John Terry's Mother's penchant for taking items from supermarkets without exchanging them for money. Word of the street is also that, "She'll be running round Tesco's with the shopping in her bag..."

Mmmmmmmmmm Lasagne

Playing Sp*rs
I do love playing Sp*rs, their fans will say it means more to us than it does them, as if they're some sort of superclub and to us playing them is a cup final. I enjoy it because I hate them, and they hate us and the game fills me with fear and excitement, and Sp*rs have a habit of charitably gifting struggling clubs with points, thanks for the 4 points last time Sp*rs! Didn't help though did it, can we have 6 next season?


The risk of bankruptcy
All jokes aside West Ham and other teams that get relegated from the Premiership face the prospect of being financially ruined if they don't get back up within a few seasons. I've read that this season our owners had budgeted for us going back up immediately so failure to get back into the top flight was seriously not an option. You only have to look at the likes of Portsmouth and Leeds as examples of what can happen to teams once relegated from the Premiership. Such is the nature of football nowadays, what with the millions of pounds flowing through it every day, unfortunately in order for us to have highs like the Premiership and the Champions League we have to have lows too. Investing in football teams is as good as gambling nowadays unless you have billions...

Anyway I'm rambling now, we're back in the top flight and those were 10 reasons why I'm glad we are. That's the end  of domestic football chat until July for me, bring on Euro 2012.