Erm... So...

I'm not really sure what I'm blogging about tonight I'm just going to ramble seen as I have no real theme or idea in my head. The Premier League started on Saturday, my summary of it is as follows. West Ham got off to a winning start. Aston Villa were terrible, and barely created anything all game. Kevin Nolan scored another 5 yard backpost tap in, if you've not noticed that that is all he does you need to. I say that's all he does, that's a lie, he does also argue with everything that moves. The three things I took note of from the game were, surprisingly, not related to the mediocre football I saw. The first was, Barry Bannan is bloody short! Simon Gillett short! Wikipedia says 5ft 7inches, absolutely no way!! I'm not having a bar of it, he's clearly entered that himself. You're not fooling us Barry! Secondly Aston Villa have a song much like West Ham that goes along the lines of:

"We're passing the ball!
We're passing the baaaaaaall!
Aston Villa
We're passing the ball!"

I'll assume from the above that the Villa fans, much like us at West Ham, are fed up of watching their side lump it diagonally to a big forward (swap Carlton Cole for Emile Heskey). When will these coaches learn? Hopefully Paul Lambert can improve things at Villa Park; based on what I saw, he needs to else Villa will be in trouble. The last of the things I noted was contrary to my comment regarding West Ham's usual sock colour in my post last week. I sat here and rubbished any colour accompanying Claret and Blue other than White. Only to discover at 3pm on Saturday when the two teams emerged from the tunnel, that this year West Ham's socks are in fact Claret. Herecy!!

These guys have got the little arms and  everything.  I don't believe that either are over 5ft 5in

In other Premiership news Van Persie-less Arsenal couldn't hit a barn door at home to Sunderland, Giroud had a perfect chance to score the winner on his debut and massively fluffed his lines. I swear I've seen this somewhere before? Manchester City and Chelsea both got off to winning starts, I was impressed by Aiden Azard's performance against Wigan, where he basically created both goals. I'm sure you're all reading this thinking, "Who the hell is Aiden Azard? Doesn't he mean Eden Hazard..." Well I've got news for you people, as with Azard's compatriot "Van-san Kompany", all commentators have now taken it upon themselves to give it the pretentious French pronunciation. Does this mean that if Christiano Ronaldo ever came back to the Premier League we'll have to start saying "Honaldo" in true Portuguese style?

Is he Irish? I thought he was Belgian?

City came from behind to beat Southampton, Aguero messed his knee up, thus potentially messing up my fantasy football chances and the champions were given a scare when the Saints staged a mid-2nd half comeback, which was kicked of by Ricky Lambert. The man is an absolute goal machine. Every season I say, "He won't get any thing year, he'll struggle with the step up to the division above..." and he proves me wrong (well he did last year, it's early days in the Premiership). Watch this space, he could be in for a good season.

Goal Machine

The two most successful teams in English football both got off to losing starts. When was the last time that happened (answers on a postcard)? For once I don't have a geeky stat accompanied with a joke about being socially awkward regarding that one. I'd genuinely like to know when the last time Liverpool and Manchester United both lost on the first day of the season (I might look that one up in the coming week, that'll make for a wild weekend, eh). Van Persie-ful Manchester United looked like they just got caught out on the day by a very impressive looking Everton side. Liverpool on the other hand, look shocking. Unfortunately (well fortunately for me, I don't like Liverpool) I think they're actually going to get worse this season, they seem to have steadily been getting worse over the last two decades and I don't think (based on their transfer activity during the summer) that Brendon Rodgers is going to turn things around. I suppose I could be wrong though Liverpool fans, I mean it's not like I predicted who'd win the Olympic football tournament...