The European World Cup Semi Finalists

We've got three games left of the 2012 European World Cup. It's been a very entertaining tournament, I've thoroughly enjoyed it. Quite frankly I have no idea what I'm going to do with my Evenings for another two years (and I'm scared by the prospect of emptiness).

Here's a brief, and very alternative, guide to the remaining four teams vying for European World Glory.

Portugal

International Footballing Pedigree
The Portuguese have never won anything at senior level in international football. The had a decent World Cup in 1966 and managed to finish 3rd and in more recent times came 4th in the 2006 World Cup in Germany. Portugal have a slightly better record in the European World Cup reaching the Semi Finals in 1984 and 2000 and the Final on home soil in 2004. Can they deliver this year.

"Nope! I'm not sure who Martin Keown is either?"

Legends
Has to be Eusebio and Luis Figo, both of who were pictured sitting together at their Quarter Final win over the Czech Republic. Apparently Martin Keown didn't know who Eusebio was, shame on you Martin, to be fair though, he probably doesn't know who you are...

Stereotype
The Portuguese always have very talented midfielders, most of which are wingers. Portuguese forwards are mediocre at best.

Worst Player
Helder Postiga? I'm going to plump for him. Postiga, once of Sp*rs, has only ever done one thing of note in his career as far as I'm concerned and that is score against England in the 2004 European World Cup Quarter Final.

Chances
According to everyone else they have a good chance off of the back that Ronaldo plays for them. Personally I can't see them getting past Spain.

Spain

International Footballing Pedigree
Barring the 1964 European World Cup Spain were absolute dog poo at international level, that was up until 2008 when something clicked. The Spanish have now gone from that team you liked watching but knew would never amount to anything (a bit like Argentina) to an all conquering winning (and passing) machine. It's testament to their ability that I'm starting to dislike them, I don't like winners.

Check out those boots

Legends
For me it would have to be Raul and Andoni Zubizarreta but then these guys never really amounted to anything at international level (much like the sides they played in). Another notable mention, but a man who is some way off of legendary status, is Alfonso. Alfonso was never an amazing player for me but he was the first person to consistently wear white boots. Well that's what I remember anyway, and he was the most expensive player on Championship Manager 97/98, £18m?? You're paying for the boots!

Stereotype
The Spanish never score an ugly goal and every one of their players would walk into any other nations team and pick it for the manager too. They pass pass pass pass pass pass pass pass and then pass some more.

Worst Player
Victor Valdez, I mean he's alright but he does make the occasional mistake, and he'll never ever get to play for the national team consistently, what with Casillas & Reina and the likes of De Gea and Asenjo who will play for La Furia Roja (check me and my Spanish out).

Chances
They'll probably end up winning the thing and become the first team to successfully defend the European World Cup. That will displease me!

Germany

International Footballing Pedigree

Need I even write this? The daddies of international football, well in Europe anyway. For those of you living under a rock European World champions in 1972, 1980 and 1996, World Champions 1954, 1974 and 1990. The Germans have had their worst period in international football, in terms of success in the last 16 years and they still managed a World Cup Final, European World Cup final and the 3rd place playoff at the last two World Cups. In short, they don't mess about.

Even the tracksuit top is a bit questionable. Are there no mirrors at the German FA?

Legends

Franz Beckenbauer, pioneer of the Sweeper position. Gerd Muller, prolific goal machine. Paul Brietner, Karl-Heinz Rumenigge, Jurgen Klinsman, Rudi Voller, Lothar Matthaus... the list goes on. All I can say is that for all their great players they could never find a good hair stylist. What is with the tashes and mullets guys?

Stereotype
The Germans always win, especially if it's a penalty shootout. If their style of play could be summed up in one word it would be efficient.

Worst Player
I'm gonna say Jerome Boateng. I mean he's not a bad player he just has lapses in concentration when he plays at fullback. Their Centre-halves can be questionable at times too.

Chances
I've been backing them for the last two and a half years to win this thing, then I lost my nerve and put my money on France (seen as I never get these things right). If Spain don't win it Germany will.

Italy

International Footballing Pedigree

But for Germany, they'd be the most successful European side in international football. World Cup winners in 1934, 1938, 1982 and 2006 and a European World Cup in 1968. They're pretty handy at this tournament lark.

Happy Birthday!!

Legends

Like the Germans there are so many Giuseppe Meazza, Luigi Riva, Dino Zoff, Paolo Maldini... the list goes on. It's Paolo Maldini birthday today, so I'm going to put up a picture of him.

Stereotype

The Italians are defensive, and they're cheats and they love an illegal bet. Don't watch any of their games as they'll be absolute snooze-fests.

Worst Player

Mario Balotelli for me, I get that he has talent and her can do amazing things, but I'd play Di Natale given the chance. Personally I think he wouldn't have started so many games had Giuseppe Rossi been fit or Giampaolo Pazzini not been shocking this season. He does have a great song though.

Chances

Despite having the worst preparation to the tournament the Italians find themselves in the Semis off the back of the most one sided 0-0 I've seen for a while. The last two times they've been embroiled in betting/match fixing scandals in the run up to major tournaments they've won them (1982 & 2006). Who knows what they'll do...

Right, that's the four Semi Finalists, I'm off to bed. Enjoy the games, let's hope these last three can live up to the high standards set so far in the competition.

England definitely aren't playing now, the Post Mortem **Warning, this isn't remotely funny**

De Rossi the bearded wonder tried his best to break the 0-0

I'm not sure how funny today's post is going to be, if I'm being honest I'm not that fussed that England are out of the European World Cup, at no stage did I think that they had any chance of winning the thing. First things first, you know what I'm annoyed about, the fact that England forced the first 0-0 draw of what has been one of the best major international football tournaments I've watched in years. Here's one for all you Statos out there, if this tournament doesn't have any more 0-0's it will set a new record in the current formant of the European World Cup (16 teams) for having the least 0-0 draws.

Euro 96 - 3
Euro 2000 - 3
Euro 2004 - 3
Euro 2008 - 2

If that doesn't stop you getting a girlfriend nothing will (it didn't stop me, somehow??). It has been a great tournament and I just knew England would be the team to ruin it for everyone, they basically limply clung on for a draw for the last hour or so in the Quarter Final versus Italy, not good enough from an entertainment perspective. If I'm being honest I'm actually being harsh on England, but for the lack of goals the game was actually quite entertaining, how much of a say England had in how entertaining it was is debatable.

On to England's performance itself, I'm not going to write this rant out again, I've already emailed it today so I'm just going to do a copy and paste job. Apologies to @el_hugh_lmc who has already heard this, you'll have to just read it again. Just to give this some context, he felt we got more than we deserved and could have easily lost by 2 or 3, I agree saying:

I thought we offered more against France (is that because they themselves were pretty abject?) but can see where you’d draw similarities. Gerrard was Gerrard in my opinion, good/consistent when it comes to doing the footballing basics but no talisman when it comes to playing against a decent midfield. Even if you take the penalty out of it Ashley Young was awful (as was Milner but he always is)! I forgot he was (they were) on the pitch, he spent 120 minutes being Abate’s b*tch and playing double left back with Ashley Cole. And I remember the same against Ukraine, they just weren’t clinical enough to punish us!

I think we’ll never change because, keeping the ball is viewed negatively. People boo and moan at football matches when players pass backwards (well they do at West Ham, "The Academy of Football"). Regardless of what anyone, correctly, says about what we need to do at grass roots level we’ll always play the same way because nobody has the patience to persist with the possession game. We want instant results, which means charging forward regardless of your opponent, which works if they either adopt the same tactic or aren’t composed enough to deal with you, will always be the English way.

You could argue that my opinion is a tired and lazy regurgitated one, but unfortunately it's the truth. What shocks me even more (actually it doesn't, it happens every time we play in a major tournament) is the number of people who managed to kid themselves we'd do well. Saying that everybody's been really low key with the hype this year then going on about how well we'd done in the group stage isn't playing us down. The facts are, we clung on to a draw in the second half against a French team that never got out of second gear (urgh, what a clichéd phrase) and then proceeded to scrape past two average sides in the form of Ukraine (I'm still tempted to add "The" before) and Sweden, both of whom failed to qualify for the last World Cup. Both sides did enough to get at least a draw against us, if not win those games and what was the response? This. I genuinely wonder what planet some people are on? Do they realise that football exists outside of Ford Super Sunday and Barcelona/Real Madrid games in the Champions League? I know I'm being really harsh but how can we expect to improve if we can't even acknowledge that there is much better than us out there. God save English football!

Pirlo ran circles round Scott Parker

The positive from last night was the performance of one Andrea Pirlo, the man oozed class from kick off right up until he Panenka'd Joe Hart in the shoot out (apologies for the naff Tina Turner backing music). Meanwhile Ashley Young lived up to my expectations by whipping his penalty against the bar, the man whips EVERYTHING, I reckon he's even into bondage and his favourite dessert is probably whipped cream. Back to Pirlo, he ran the show and basically did what I'd like to see and England midfielder do one day, it's never going to happen though is it. Pirlo even Scott Parker'd Scott Parker and done him with one of those little circles that he does where he doesn't actually go anywhere but manages to get out of a tight spot with the ball (I can't find a video of it, look out for it the next time you see Parker play).

Ashley Young never comes out with the boys, word on the street is that he's whipped

Anyway, on to the Semis and hopefully no further 0-0's. Come on Germany, I need more points in the work prediction competition. As for England, they aren't even playing until the next World Cup (if they qualify), I reckon they'll win it, this is our Golden Generation...

Apologies for the lack of humour, I didn't feel it was warranted today.

France! Oh France!

Mon Deu! Or what ever the phrase is, the French are out! There goes my £5. Last time I listen to the Mrs for football betting tips. This post shall be a brief one as I'm tired and now £5 lighter in the wallet and therefore in no mood to waxy lyrically about today's footballing proceedings.

Watch out Row Z! Here come's Travis' tip for the Golden Boot

In short Spain went for the 4-6-0 formation again, France had periods where managed to wrestle possession from the Spaniards but showed about as much cutting edge as those scissors they give you at primary school. Although we still haven't had a 0-0 this game was not a classic (unlike last night's game); just to top things off for me, gambling wise, Benzema managed to finish the tournament with zero goals and put in a pretty damp performance up front. I had Monsieur Benzema each way to finish as the tournament's leading scorer so obviously he did nothing, £10 down the drain. I shall never forgive the French!

I might as well have put my money on Gekas, or was it Salpingidis? I dunno, whichever of those little bearded fellas up front for Greece that scored again last night. And no I don't mean Samaras ...I MEAN COME ON BENZEMA!! Even Samaras has scored! He got like 4 all season in the SPL, I could get 4 in a season playing in the SPL and I play in goal!

Anyway here's 10 things I learnt from the past week in the European World Cup.

Germany are awesome
They played their B attack last night and still took Greece apart. I know it was Greece and it finished 4-2 (very flattering) but that game was an absolute mauling and the Germans gave a fine display of how attacking football should be played.

Roy Keane is an angry man
I know I mentioned this before, but he makes me laugh. He's so aggressive, I get the impression that he's one sarky Adrian Childs comment away from totally kicking off and going back home to walk his dog.

He doesn't even look that happy here

Ireland are terrible
Played 3, Lost 3, Conceded 9 and scored 1. Zero points. Thanks for coming boys, shut the door on your way out, we don't want a draft coming in.

France couldn't give a toss if they were knocked out
See above and their performance against Sweden. Arrrrgh, I'm not letting this go! You've cost me Dix pounds!!

It doesn't matter about goal line technology if the dodgy decision goes in your favour
"We were robbed against the Germans". "They had an official on the line". "The move started from an offside position so it doesn't matter". I've said it a million times, there's a simple solution. Penalty or Goal, just like at school, that would sort out any debate.

No matter how badly England play, everybody over here will talk them up, provided they aren't knocked out
Two unconvincing wins against two not very good sides and I'm seeing stories of Joe Hart saying "we can win it". Oh god!

Portugal are actually quite decent
I said they'd be rubbish and that Ronaldo wouldn't score, so obviously they've come to life and proved that I know nothing about predicting football results. Nice!

There are times when Jamie Carragher gets so excited on ITV that he gobs over the other pundits
Calm down Jamie. I agree, the French did need to up it in the second half, but I think you're starting to grate on Roy...

Joachim Lowe's fashion sense is still impeccable

Check out the fitted shirt

I am going to miss the football when it's all over
I was si lost on Wednesday I started watching the English equivalent to the IPL to fill the void. It was so drab I can't even remember who was playing.

England v Italy tomorrow for a place in the Semi Finals. Remember ref, anything goes providing it favours England...

From daily to weekly. Apologies

It would appear that I bit off way more than I could chew in saying I'd update this blog every day during the European World Cup. OK so I lied, it's not like I went a week without updating it...

Anybody that's paying attention, or that cares, will notice that that last statement is also a lie, it has been a week since I last put finger to button in anger on here. But now I'm back! And what a week it has been!

In summary...

Captain Cavemaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

England were almost single handedly beaten by a caveman. When the hell did Olaf Mellburg score goals? And when he does when does he get a brace, that would have been one hell of a bet!

In Group A Greece managed to do a "Greece Euro 2004" and sneak through at the expense of the Russians, despite the Russians clearly being the best side in the group and finishing with a much better record in the tournament than the Greeks?!?! What the hell is up with this head to head rubbish that UEFA are doing? Nobody knows what is going on. Were Spain and Croatia going to draw 2-2? Were Italy going out even if they won 10-0? Were Spain going to go through? The Italian players had no idea what they needed to do to throw the Ireland game, so they just beat them and went through to the next round. I'm joking by the way I don't buy into all that "Italians are cheats nonsense". They're no more cheats than anyone else. To be fair there is one thing I find more confusing than the logic behind "Head to Head" and that is, who is who out of Gekas and Salpingidis? I thought Gekas had scored twice but it turns out it was Salpingidis that got their goal in the Poland game. Gekas could end up with the Golden Boot at this rate...

These are two different guys I swear!

Another thing that I noticed in Group A were two hilarious names in the Czech Republic team. I'm not sure if I'm the only one who giggles every time the commentators talk of Gebre Selassie (the Czech right back) and how he's full of running... I'm not surprised he's full of running, you should have seen him in the 10,000 Metres in Atlanta!!

Watch out for him on the Czech right flank

And on top of that they've also got a guy in the side called "You're a Czech" (spelt Jiracek). It's almost as if he had an identity crisis and wasn't sure who he should represent at international level, so somebody had to remind him in his name. Thank god for him he's not from The Central African Republic. "You're a Central African Republican", would that fit on the back of a shirt?


In Group B the Dutch are out! I have nothing funny to say about that, they've ruined my chances in work's prediction competition, I had them as runners up! There's talk of dissent in the camp, in traditional Dutch style. Holland if you're gonna go all late 1990's on us you might as well get the De Boer brothers back, who can I say, are so inseparable they've got a joint Twitter account. Give it up guys! Those Ajax days are over, you're going to have to go your separate ways at some point in your lives.

England are through, and once again I'm left thinking, "Am I the only one who can see the cracks?" As mentioned before we let the Swedish caveman score twice, and we didn't look all that convincing in our victory over Ukraine (I've been told I'm not supposed to say "The Ukraine"). Our goal came from a piece of goalkeeping so dodgy that even Shay Given, Petr Cech and myself were shaking our heads while we watched it on TV. You know for the fact that the Sun will have some sort of "Woy" Hodgson pun tomorrow and will have proclaimed us the new all conquering Kings of the European World Cup!

So it's on to the quarter finals and the only thing I have left to say is, how defensive/aggressive is Roy Keane? Wow! All he ever seems to say is "Listen!" We're all listening Roy (apologies to those of you who follow me on Twitter, you'll have heard that one already)! If you think I'm exaggerating watch this. Make sure you listen!

Oh and Zlatan scored AGAIN!

European World Cup Day 4 England were playing (for once) but the weather wasn't playing ball

Let's not all get carried away (I know this will fall upon deaf ears) England did pretty well yesterday against France. This was the same France side that I have stuck money on to win the whole competition and that are 20+ games unbeaten. Well done England! Problem is, despite saying that nobody expects anything from England this year (rightly so), I still see in the media adverts where Terry Venables talks of us being "contenders" and Alan Shearer saying how we have an outside chance. I will reserve further, potentially scathing comments, til the end of the group stage, so far so good. I watched the game yesterday in a pub that I always try and watch England games in, with some old (and new) friends. Normally we've been very lucky when we go there to watch England in major international tournaments, in the fact that the weather is scorchingly hot and we can enjoy the big beer garden they have which is accompanied with a TV and BBQ. Yesterday things were different, much like Roy's England team, it was the most miserable June day ever, meaning we had to swap the big screen and BBQ in the sun for a couch inside. This did however give us a chance to earwig to chavs having a domestic in the pub at about 3pm (as you do), apparently the man whose voice bore a resemblance to that of Ozzy Osbourne had been sleeping around with Ladies of the night, much to the obvious disgust of his female partner, who also spoke in a manner similar to Mr Osbourne (nice lady). This incident aside the whole day, although enjoyable, was a little disappointing due to the weather, about as disappointing as seeing Jordan Henderson come on for the last few minutes of the game (some people in the pub booed).

Not bad for a flop

The second game of the day, and last of the first round of matches, involved co-hosts Ukraine. I didn't hold much hope for them doing anything in this tournament, which means they won of course, they and Sweden capped a first round of matches that I have found thoroughly entertaining from throughout. Zlatan scored again to put the Swedes ahead, although it counted for nothing in the end as Chelsea "flop"/General Legend anywhere else, Andriy Shevchenko scored twice to win the game for the host nation. Another good game and the big debate that came out of it was, although the consensus amongst my friends (not all friends, just schooled ones) is that Ibrahimovic is a good player, would you buy him if you were building a team? I'm 50/50 on the whole thing.

Day 4 Summary

In Roy (with an 'R') we trust, to an extent...

Hero(s)
There are multiple heroes again, Roy Hodgson needs to be given credit for the way England played. They didn't just resort to kick and rush (although they were fairly direct) and troubled France throughout the first half. Well done England! Andriy Shevchenko is the other hero, I gave his country little hope of registering a win this tournament and most certainly didn't think he'd be among the goals. He scored two very good headers and showed very good strikers instinct.

The familiar sight of Zlatan celebrating a goal, would he add value to your team though?

Villain(s)
Anyone who talks about 1966 or mentions England winning this years European World Cup, calm down it was a decent performance but there is a lot of room for improvement. Zlatan-bashers are also villains, how many more times does he have to do it for you to believe in him?? Oh and Ozzy Osbourne (the male one) from down the pub, why would you cheat on your lovely, fellow Ozzy Osbourne sounding, Mrs with a prostitute?!? Shame on you!

It's been a goalfest, especially with regards to headers

Bet of the day
All four teams to score. I'm telling you all now, if this tournament carries on in the same manner that will be a very good bet. It's happened every day except Day 3!

The European World Cup Day 3, 4-6-0??

Goooal!! Italy's Prolific Pensioner opens the scoring

The biggest talking point for everybody yesterday was of Spain's decision to start their opening European World Cup game against Italy with no strikers. Some said it was cocky, others said it was disrespectful to Italy, personally I think it was foolhardy. As much as Spain do pass the ball well, and do have SO MUCH midfield talent at their disposal, and did score while they were playing the now infamous 4-6-0, that will never work in my opinion. One of the things that a lot of people seem to be losing sight of is the fact that throughout these last 4 years of their international dominance in addition to having the greatest midfield in the galaxy in the history of mankind (well that's what everybody's saying right), they've had a prolific goalscorer in the form of David Villa, who they're currently missing. This was one of the reasons why I felt they would not successfully defend their crown this year. At the end of the day it doesn't matter how much pretty "Tika-Taka" (you have to do a shot) you play, you need someone, even if it's just one person, to be the focal point of your attack.

Anyway, that kind of talk is far too technical for my likening, on to those magnificent beasts, the Italians. I'm a big fan of Italian football, and as a result it mean's I'm privileged enough to watch, and more importantly understand it. A lot of people in England just don't get it, they call Italian football negative and defensive (that's another shot), which is pretty much as tired and old as stereotypes get. For example did you know that in 2006 , when they won the World Cup (not the European one, how long am I gonna keep this up), Italy took more strikers to the tournament than any of the other big contenders (The took five: Totti, Del Piero aka God, Iaquinta, Gilardino (shouldn't he be Brazillian?) and Luca Toni ) and every one of them played and scored. Not very defensive is it! Yesterday we were treated to a show in terms of Italian football as they tactically out thought the Spanish and showed that they weren't impregnable. I totally get that if Fernando Torres couldn hit a barn door Spain may have still won the match, but I think anyone who saw the game will agree Italy looked very good especially when on the ball. England could learn a thing or two from the Italians who at times just had to watch the Spaniards pass it around for what seemed like an eternity but then when they were in possession refused to be rushed and were very incisive in their passing. I'm doing it again, I'm going all technical aren't I? Apologies to those who read this and aren't massive football fans (I know that sounds like a crazy concept, but some people read this just because they strangely find me amusing). OK so for you guys the Italians look aesthetically good (see the team photo below), barring Balotelli's ridiculous haircut that is, they're all about designer beards/stubble and Buffon's slicked over Mediterranean hair... now I just sound gay, I'm not gay, I'm just saying they looked the part as well as playing it.

PS can you even write brackets within brackets?? See Gilardino above.

Makes you wanna grow a beard doesn't it...

One team who most certainly don't look the part is Ireland, unfortunately. I had my doubts as to whether they'd be able to hold their own against the elite of the European World and they struggled yesterday. A goal down after 2 minutes, then conceding trying to play offside when they themselves had knocked the ball through then conceding 2 minutes into the second half, tells me one thing, they'll be all but home this time next week. Because it doesn't get any easier for them, they'll be playing both Italy and Spain... And who the hell is Simon Cox? I mean I'm not pro-footballer so he's already got one up on me but when I saw Aiden McGeedy trotting off to make way for a sub that was hopefully going to get the Irish back in the game I did not expect Cox to be his replacement. No disrespect to Cox, but it's rare that I'll watch a nation like Ireland at a major international tournament and shout, "Who?!?" at the TV when one of their players names flash up.  Then again that is probably testament to the job that Trapattoni has done for them.

Day 3 Summary

Look at that beard, the shaven faced Iniesta can't keep up

Hero(s)
There were two heros yesterday. Caesar Preandelli, the Italian manager, for switching to a "risky" 3-5-2 and using De Rossi as a sweeper to nullify the ridiculously beefed up Spanish midfield. And Daniele De Rossi for being an absolute beast at sweeper (sweeper?!? when was the last time you saw one of those?) and sporting a very rugged and stylish beard.

See!! No alcohol!

Villain(s)
There were three villains yesterday. Vicente Del Bosque for believing he could actually start without striker (bet he doesn't do that again); Fernando Torres, wow just when you thought things couldn't get worse for the guy, first they decide having no striker is better than playing Torres (they did score when they had no striker), then when he comes on he proceeds to spurn numerous chances to win the game for Spain and prove he's still a good player (he is still a good player by the way, he was never a prolific goalscorer, except at Liverpool); and ITV (and I suspect BBC too) for turning the Irish fans in the modern day Scottish Fans. Don't patronise them, they're not just here to drink and jig while their team gets pummelled game after game. That's the impression I got from ITV, they did the classic, "Let's talk to some fans who are just happy to be here! They'll party whatever the result..." and did an interview with three, pint in hand, Irish blokes before the game. I wouldn't be surprised if they bought them the pints as props.

Day 4 today and I'm off to watch England...

Day 2 of the European World Cup and 10 things to look out for

Another decent day of football in my opinion, the Danes "shocked" the Dutch beating them 1-0. I say "shocked" because it wasn't that much of a shock. They're ranked 9th in the world (I think), qualified top of their group, which contained Portugal and held The Netherlands to a 1-1 draw in the last World Cup (although it wasn't a European World Cup, just a regular one), the same World Cup that the Dutch got to the final in. The second game was a lot closer than I thought it would be, I really don't rate Portugal, to the point that I think it's ludicrous that anyone would suggest Ronaldo will have a good tournament. I don't get why people can't see that although he is arguably the best player in the World (definitely in the European World) he needs a good team around him to do well, which he has in Real Madrid, but doesn't with Portugal. The Portuguese did hit the bar twice in the game, one of those being an off the bar and down onto the line incendent, which luckily was conclusive, else all we'd be hearing "bla bla bla goal line technology"; but on the face of it I think the Germans did enough to deserve the win, for a start they had more chances.

A Summary of Day 2

Close your legs!!

Hero
Michael Krohn-Dehli. Scored a very good goal against the Dutch and "nutzed" the keeper, I always keep my legs closed in those situations, Steklenburg needs to take tips from me (or Rob Green who I learnt the technique from), in fact I thought the three up top for Denmark were quality, they all looked really sharp, even Bendtner.

Not his best day...

Villain

Robin Van Persie (closely followed by Ibrahim Afellay and Arjen Robben). The three up top for The Netherlands were the opposite of the Danish front line. Although they moved around well and got a lot of the ball, they often held on to it for too long and wasted a number of very good chances. Van Persie in particular was terrible, I'm not sure why they opted to start with him in the middle when they had Huntelaar on the bench. Huntelaar was the top scorer in qualifying, had a very good season with Schalke AND has a name that makes him sound like he'll be a predator in front of goal, Huntelaar, THE CLUE IS IN THE NAME (I'm aware he squandered a few chances too)!

How many different angles do you reckon I can find pictures of Gomez's goal from?

Bet of the day

Has to be Mario Gomez, first goalscorer, if only I'd placed it. I instead went for an accumulator with Sharapova to win the tennis, The Netherlands and Germany, despite the fact that I thought, correctly, that the Dutch one might be dodgy. I'm just not very good at this gambling lark.

In addition to my Day 2 summary, here's 10 things to look out for at Euro 2012.

The opening credits

I've seen BBC's this year and they're pretty naff, yet to see ITV's. The Opening Credits are normally where ITV actually shine, if only they invested as much time in their choice of commentators and pundits...

Here are some of my favourite Opening Credits (why not eh...)

ITV France 98

BBC Euro 2004 (I just like the song)

ITV South Africa 2010 (I have too much time on my hands don't I...)

Clarence Seedorf

Excellent choice by the BBC to get him in as a pundit. He'll provide some insight amongst all the dated clichés and stereotypes that Hansen and co will come up with.

Updates from the England camp

This really grinds my gears, when I watch Italy v Spain at half time I want detailed analysis of what I've just watched from the 1st half not a running report on the mundane goings on within the England camp in the last few days. The tournament isn't just about England, they're not even playing (see what I did there)!! I really couldn't care less as to what Walcott just had for dinner, he probably lost control of the fork and spilt it all down himself anyway.

Stereotypes

If you wanna play a Euro 2012 drinking game I suggest this, do a shot every time somebody on TV:-

Calls the Italians "defensive" or "negative"

Says "Tika-Taka" when Spain are playing

Slates Zlatan Ibrahimovic

Questions a decent players ability as he's never played in England

Mentions a penalty shoot out when Germany are playing

Backs Ronaldo to do well

Zlatan Ibrahimovic getting slated

I like Zlatan. I totally get that he's arrogant and that he comes across as lazy sometimes. But how can you argue that a player who didn't win the league with his club for the first time in 5 years or something like that this season, consistently scores goals (he's been top scorer in every country he's played in) and scored one of the goals of the tournament in the last two European World Cups, isn't all that? Zlatan could single handed win the tournament for Sweden scoring twice in every game and as he went to lift the trophy every pundit over here would be saying, "I just don't get what all the fuss is about?" I'm literally shaking my head as I write this.

Marcel Desailly

All I'm gonna say is "for sure". I love this guy, he's the only pundit worth watching on ITV. I can do a decent impression as well (in my opinion).

Russia

They have a decent side and may not have to play anyone too challenging until the Semi Finals, obviously to agree with that you'd have to disregard all of the positive things that I've said about Denmark above (it's very likely they could face them in the Quarter Finals), see even I'm contradicting myself, this punditry bug is catching.

France

They're my tip to win the whole thing, I've basically backed Germany for the last two and a bit to three years and upon the eve of the tournament my attentions have turned to France. Fickleity of the highest order! I've got money on them and Benzema to do well.

This blog

I'm going to try and update it every day throughout Euro 2012! I know it's going to be difficult, let's see what happens...

And finally, this picture...

Why does the Portuguese keeper have a big circle on his top? Is it in case he forgets where the badge is? [Kiss here]

I said I'd get as many as I could in from different angles.

Italy v Spain this evening, and the début of the Republic of Ireland (aka The Npower Championship All Star team)!

My thoughts on The "European World Cup Soccer Championship of America" Day 1

Can't wait to watch Brazil

A quick explanation re the post title. So I'm sitting at work and I'm forwarded an email from a friendly colleague who shall remain nameless; basically his team leader has decided that it would be a great morale boost for the team if they hold a Euro 2012 sweepstake, the email is titled, "The Written Communications European World Cup". My first impression is, that doesn't even sound right?!? Even if you don't give it much thought it's just a bit of a mouthful. Then you start to give it some logical thought... "European World Cup!" It sounds like the sort of thing you'd get an American saying, not one of those enlightened Americans that know what's going on in the World outside of the U S of A, one of these guys. I can just imagine them now, "We now have the latest news from The European World Cup Soccer Championship of America! Brazil have benched their goalscoring forward Paylay in place of the rookie Ney-Mar...!"

As for the tournament, I stuck £5 on the French to win on a recommendation from my other half who knows absolutely nothing about football. I thought to myself, every year I sit here weighing up qualifying records and looking at friendly results and injured players etc, and for all that "insight" I never pick the winner. So on this occasion I'm going to go with the opinion of someone who knows nothing about football. My girlfriend certainly fits that bill, in addition to that France had a good qualifying record and have looked decent in recent friendlies...

Day 1 Summary
I rushed home from work to see the last 10 mins of what looked like a pretty naff opening ceremony. Managed to catch the "Magician" who was trying (and failing miserably) to juggle a ball. At one stage I thought he was going to revert to good ol' fashioned one footed kick ups but then again I think he'd have struggled to do those.

I thought the opening game was fantastic, one of the best opening games I've seen to a football tournament, largely due to the technical frailties of both sides. What stuck me from the beginning was how much of an atmosphere the home crowd created, it must have been pretty intimidating for the referee and he certainly showed it with his performance. How an earth he managed to send off the Greek centre half I'll never know, hopefully it isn't a sign of things to come. Poland look terrible, it all started off so well for them, they were getting so much joy down the right hand side, Twitter was full of jokes relating to Poland having a strong right wing element (boom boom). At the same time the Greek defence was literally parting every time they attacked, leading to much talk of Greek instability (boom boom, I'm 'ere all week). I was not surprised at all when Poland scored early in the game, and wasn't too sure what the Greek keeper was trying to do at the time. I often get berated by my team members for opting to stay on my line for some crosses, if the Greek keeper had taken some lessons from Travis Newton he'd have been fine. Instead he went for a wonder and Ledw Lwed that fella from Dortmund that I put in my Dream Team (Lewandowski I know his name, I'm messing with you) scored a decent header. At that point I though it was going to be a massacre or even a... Greek Tragedy, you know one of the newspapers would have said that, but to their credit the Greeks shrugged off Poland's dominance in the first half along with some clear home team refereeing to come back well in the 2nd half. They were unlucky not to end up winning the game in my opinion.

The Greeks spurned many a chance, including a missed penalty

The second game was also a good one. I thought the Czechs started well but then Russia came to life and showed why they're clear favourites to win a very weak Group A. For some reason despite thinking Russia were better, I decided to go for a 1-1 draw in the office prediction competition, told ya I knew nothing about these things! In the end Russia were just way too good for them and the scoreline told this story. I do think that the Czech's may do well against the Poles and the Greeks though and more inportantly I have three Russians in my dream team!

A dream start for the Russians (see what I did there? Dream, as in Dream Team, I'm so clever)

Day 1:Hero
Dzagoev for Russia, he scored twice. Although he did miss a couple of sitters.

Villain

That Spanish ref in the Poland game. I'm not even bothering to Google his name, you know who I mean. He made some shocking decisions especially the Greek sending off. Somebody Tweeted that he has produced 16 red cards in 19 La Liga games this year, well he's already had two in one European Championship game. Why didn't the Spanish send the one who looks like Dracula (or is he Mexican? Well it is the European World Cup, he is eligible) 

Is Dracula Spanish or Mexican? Get him in!!

Bet of the day
Russia -2 would have been a good one but I doubt anyone would have realistically bet on that. I did however win £1.40 on there being under 3 goals in the opening game.

So there you have it, Euro 2012 is finally here and the first two games were quality. I can't wait for tomorrow's games, although now they'll probably be cagey and boring. They'd better not! Oh, and can people stop backing Ronaldo to do well, Portugal are dog poo, he doesn't have his Real Madrid team mates around him now.

10 Things: Week 4 - 10 Memorable European Championship Moments

I've just polished off two plates of home made Carbonara and I can barely move, to me that seems an apt moment to write another blog post. Not sure if I've mentioned it but Euro 2012 is next week, I literally can't wait. Every lunch hour at work has been spent reading about the squads going, watching old videos and of course swatting stats obscure and sad enough to repulse many an individual of the opposite sex (even desperate girls). As a result of my European Championship excitedness (is that a word?) and the fact that I've seen a million old videos I thought I'd make this week's 10 Things 10 Memorable European Championship moments. Can I just add that the qualification criteria has to be that I've witnessed them, meaning that, as I was only 7 and not that interested in football at the time, Marco Van Basten's volley (which you will no doubt see on any European Championship related TV show at the moment) has not made the list. Here are the the 10 things that have...

Denmark knocking Holland out on penalties - 1992
Unfortunately I can't find an individual clip for this one so you'll have to watch the BBC's montage of the whole tournament. This stuck in my head for two reasons, the first being that Euro 92 was my first European Championships meaning that I remember it all quite vividly. I can remember being allowed to stay up late as the game had gone to penalties and wanting the Danes to win, I've never rooted for the favourites, even as a child. The second reason being that I found it quite funny the Danish defender wins the shootout for them and celebrates by going round, and round, and round in a circle in the penalty area (3:10), sometimes it's the little things... This was also an early sign to the footballing world that the Danish goalkeeper Peter Schmeichel was going to be something special, just ask Van Basten.

John Jensen's goal - 1992
Later on in Euro 92 Denmark pulled off another upset beating the then seemingly impregnable World Champions Germany 2-0 in the final. I think Kim Vilfort got the 2nd but I'm not sure, in fact I don't think anyone's sure. All we ever remember is John Jensen, of Arsenal infamy, scoring a belter in the first half and some poor German defender trying his damnedest, in vain, to stop the ball from going in. Apparently it was Steffan Effenburg according to Frank Skinner and David Baddiel. As per Skinner and Baddiel's video Jensen was actually a terrible shot (he couldn't hit water in a boat) and football fans had to wait quite a few more years before seeing his next goal. Maybe that's why it sticks out as a memory for me.

Thomas Brolin justifies the BBC's selection of Barry Davies for the England game

"Brolin! Dahlin! Brolin!!!" - 1992
I've said it before and I'll say it again (although I haven't actually said it before on this blog, so this will be news to most of you), when Barry Davies commentates on a sporting event, good things happen e.g. Maradona's wonder goal against England in 1986, Great Britain against West Germany in the Olympic Hockey in 1988 "Where were the Germans?"... Well in 1992 Davies did it again, in England's last game in the competition and Gary Lineker's last ever game for England; Thomas Brolin went on a run and played a short pass into his team mate Martin Dahlin, who instantly flicked it back to him with the outside of his foot, Brolin then curled a first time shot into the top corner of the English goal and we were out. Not our finest hour but definitely one of Davies and the European Championships'. That goal is also on the BBC Euro 92 video above.

Definitely the most exciting thing to happen in Birmingham in the 1990's

Karel Poborsky's ridiculous scoop shot - 1996
I've seen people lobbed millions of times, as a goalkeeper I have been lobbed on a number of occasions, as my friends will happily inform you, I have never seen any player literally scoop the ball straight up in the air and get it to come down under the bar. Quality goal from a quality 90's player.

Davor Suker lobbing Schmiecal - 1996
Suker's lob was more of your conventional lob, what made it memorable for me was that number one it was against Peter Schmeichel who had been one of the stars of the tournament four years before (and had become a household name at Manchester United) and in addition to this it was the first time I'd really seen Davor Suker in action. I remember there being a lot of fuss about him prior to the tournament and in this game he most certainly announced himself at Euro 96 as this goal was the 3rd in a brilliant hat-trick. Love the resigned slump to the ground that Schmeichel does, as if to say, "Oh great! You've lobbed me, we clearly cannot stop you today can we..."

Zinedine Zidane's free kick - 2000
Barring the head-butt in his last ever game, the 2006 World Cup Final, I think it can be said that Zinedine Zidane always popped up when France needed him. Against Spain in the Euro 2000 Quarter Final France most certainly needed him and he delivered as always. I remember watching him bending in a quality free kick, to put France ahead in a pretty tight game, while I was getting ready to go out with my mates on a Sunday evening, a far cry from being allowed to stay up late and watch the Denmark v Holland penalty shoot out.

Figo's goal against England - 2000
In my opinion this is one of the best goals that has been scored at the European Championships, if not the best (yep, better than Gazza and Van Basten). The context of the goal makes it special in itself, England had raced to a two goal lead against the famous Golden Generation Portuguese side. Figo's goal started what was to be a remarkable comeback and one of England's biggest capitulations, they threw the game away quicker than a housewife does the rubbish on Boxing Day morning (is that a good one??). David Seaman didn't even move and I don't blame him, the ball flew in so quickly I think he only relised Figo had scored once England were taking centre. Bravo Luis!

The Coup leaders

Greece - 2004
I still can't believe this even happened! I can remember missing the opening game of the tournament, much to my disgust, as I had to go to Thorpe Parks for a mate's birthday?!? Who goes to Thorpe Park for their 25th?!? Grow up and watch the football! I rushed home expecting to find Portugal 2 or 3 nil up against the Greeks only to find that they had actually just pulled one back to make it 2-1. I remember being out in a bar and seeing Greece were 1 nil up against France and thinking, "Ooooh! They're in trouble now! The French are gonna make them pay..." I also remember... you get the picture, each time I thought, "This is it, the Greeks are out now..." they'd pop up and somehow scrape through, and this was all without the aid of a penalty shoot-out. My fondest memory of the whole thing was going to Southgate, in Enfield, about 30 minutes after they'd lifted the trophy (in case you don't know, Southgate has more Greek inhabitants, well Greek Cypriot, than Greece itself) and being greeted by a scene reminiscent of when an oppressive government, that had been in power for years, is finally overthrown in a coup. I kid you not, there were guys riding on the backs of trucks chanting, I swear at one point somebody fired a Kalashnikov into the air... ok maybe that didn't happen, but there were definitely guys on the backs of trucks.

Petr Cech becoming me for 5 minutes - 2008
Petr Cech is a great goalkeeper, more importantly he's a professional goalkeeper. I am a decent goalkeeper but more importantly I am a decent Sunday League goalkeeper. There is an unwritten rule in football with regards to crossing the ball. Against a professional goalkeeper you DO NOT cross the ball to near to him as her will gobble it up without even breaking sweat and you will have wasted offensive possession of the ball. Against a Sunday League goalkeeper on the other hand, stick it right above him as he's probably still hungover, often carrying a bit of extra weight and therefore not very agile and his hands are probably about as safe as Afghanistan is as a holiday destination, and you never know what'll happen... Back in 2008 against Turkey Petr Cech got confused and assumed the role of a Sunday League goalkeeper (5.08) just to be on the safe side. Turkey, who were heading out, went through and the Czech Republic, who were heading through, went crashing out. And Cech is probably still giving it all of the usual goalkeeping excuses that we Sunday Leaguers use, "It was the wind...", "The ref should have given a foul...", "The sun was in my eyes..."

Holland tearing Italy and France a new one - 2008
I'm aware that both France and Italy had disastrous World Cups and were both back home before you could say "ageing flops" but when Holland were drawn against them at Euro 2008 they were both finalists from the previous World Cup. As a result I did not expect Holland to tear both teams to shreds especially seen as the Dutch, much like the Spanish, had up until recent times flattered to deceive at major international tournaments. Playing pretty football and scoring decent goals then folding faster than an origami artist as soon as they faced decent opposition. To be fair they did mess up in the Quarter Finals against Russia despite their dazzling displays in the group stage but I was very impressed.

So that's it. 10 magical European Championship moments, for anyone who can think of more notable instances that the competition has had in the past 20 years, tough! I am aware that I've not included Gazza's goal against Scotland, McAllister's penalty where the ball moved as he was going to take it, Ibrahimovic's back-heel against Italy in 2004 and his driven shot against Greece in 2008 (both events that ITV refuse to accept even happened), Maniche's goal from the short corner against Holland in 2004, Rooney powering through Croatia, England crumbling AGAIN against France in the last minute in 2004 and the Portuguese goalkeeper Ricardo having the audacity to save Darius Vassel's penalty bare-handed then tuck the winner home seconds later. Fact of the matter is that there have been so many memorable moments in the last 20 years and tons more before then too, that is why I can't wait for next Friday. Bring it on!!