Ok, I'm really really really really really really really sorry! I've been so lazy recently. Recently?? Ok I've been so lazy in the last few months, thing is I've been meaning to write updates to this blog and have seen tons of stuff, both football and non-football (for the ladies, wink wink) related. I have no idea why I'm winking or typing about winking to imaginary women reading my blog, bear with me here people.
So what's been happening? Well in terms of me, not much has changed, I say that but I mean in respect of my living/working situation, I'm pretty much doing all the same stuff I was doing back in the summer when I was on here moaning about West Ham and regaling you all with my humorous observations from the European World Cup. One massive thing that has changed in my life is that I purchased FIFA 13, now I'm a lover of the odd computer game especially football/cricket ones and last year I found myself in a situation where I wasn't too enamoured with any of the new football games that came out in October/November. For those of you not in the know (mainly the ladies, wink wink, I'm kidding, just continuing the joke), I'm talking about the trilogy of FIFA, Pro Evolution Soccer and Football Manager (Championship Manager in old money) for years these games have ruined relationships, caused weight gain and aided the breaking of inanimate objects in the bedrooms (and sometimes lounges) of men aged 13-40 all over the world. And FIFA 13 is kinda doing this to me. Now I'm not saying I've broken anything and I don't feel my relationship with the Mrs has suffered (and I don't intend on that ever being the case) but my evenings have definitely changed. No longer do I come home from work looking forward to making a decent meal and watching some TV with my flatmates. Now all I can think about is how I can improve my Hull City side in our momentum gathering march towards domination of the footballing world. Well the EA Sports footballing world. I find myself thinking of tactics and potential transfer targets on the walk to the train station in the morning. Going over missed opportunities and (perceived) bad refereeing decisions in the shower and yes, every so often I do lose it and turn into a snarling football manager. A snarling manager being gently nudged back into the technical area by the 4th official, on the brink of being sent to the stands for dissent. Why does this happen to me? Why do I care? Why FIFA 13? I didn't care much for FIFA 12 or 11 and I've barely touched Pro Evo or Championship Manager (yeah that's right 'Old Money') in the last 4/5 years. Whatever it is, it must be a good game cos I'm hooked, I've put on over a stone and a half since the summer (that's no lie) and haven't done any exercise in about 2 months. God help me!!
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| Cheers for the token gesture Lazio, but there are always going to be morons in the world. It's one of those things. |
In the real, Travis Newton isn't the manager of Hull City and they are still in the Championship, footballing world a lot has happened. I'm not going to go into it all, in fact I'm going to try and keep this part of my post really brief. So here it is. Zlatan's been doing it again, an this time it was against England, so begrudgingly some pundits have had to accept that maybe they were wrong and he is a little better than a pub footballer. Racism is the buzz phrase/word whatever you wanna call it, it seems to all happening in terms of race at the moment. There's talk of a black PFA, black players are refusing to wear Kick It Out t-shirts, The England Under 21's were abused in Serbia, my own fellow West Ham fans behaved appallingly at White Hart Lane the other day and fans are now being continually picked out for making monkey gestures at black players. My opinion on it all (and there's no humour here unfortunately), people are idiots, not all of us (thank god) but a lot of people. And football fans & players are no exception. Is there a problem with racism? Yeah, because it shouldn't really be prevalent in any walk of life in this day and age, not when we have as much knowledge at our disposal as we currently do, with the internet and all that; or with the world being as 'small' as it is now. People should know better! As for football fans, people seem to think that it's acceptable to do something when in a crowd (or a mob) as there is less chance of them being singled out for punishment (that's how riots start), in addition to that, footballers seem to think it's ok to say whatever they want to their peers as it's deemed to have been done 'in the heat of battle'. Bollocks! Players, fans and people in ordinary society that resort to racism are ignorant halfwits. Rant over!
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| Dog poo! |
Now for the bit relating to the title. Aside from getting bed sores from sitting around all day playing FIFA I have also embarked on a little project. A project that, like FIFA, probably does me no favours in being attractive to the opposite sex (although the Mrs hasn't complained yet). Anyone with a little historical knowledge will know that the Schlieffen Plan was a plan devised by a German general, which basically led to World War One, that centred around fighting a war on two fronts. The plan was that Germany were to march through Belgium in 6 weeks, beating the French; then turn back and beat the Russians before they even knew what had hit them. As a spoiler for those that know nothing history wise, they got stuck in Belgium for 4 years, which was basically World War One. Now my Schlieffen plan involves following a European top flight football league on numerous fronts. Let me get things straight here, I often watch a lot of foreign football and follow the European leagues fairly closely; to the point that I'd even say I've followed two leagues in a season before. Normally The Premiership along with either Serie A or La Liga. This year I'm taking it to a new level. So of course I'm following the Premiership, what with West Ham in it I go to a game once every fortnight or so. In addition to that I am avidly following Serie A, I'd say at least a game a weekend and making sure I see highlights of all the others. I'm trying to keep up my following of the Spanish League especially with respect to seeing my team Athletic Bilbao (who are having a horrible season this year) but I'm struggling what with the Italian games getting it the way and the Mrs' love of X Factor, damn the scheduling of those Spanish games! I am also (yeah that's right I'm greedy) trying to watch the French League, what with PSG and this injection of cash I'm intrigued to see how things pan out for them this season. I've seen a couple of live games but am mainly watching highlights. At the same time my fingers and thumbs are in the pies that are the German and Dutch leagues. I really want to watch more German football but it's hard to squeeze it in, especially if I want to have a life and a girlfriend (and if I want to take Hull to Champions League glory). So in summary here's what I've learned from my own Schlieffen Plan. Pescara are dog poo. Wow they're bad, saw them win this weekend, how I have no idea?!? Anybody who thinks QPR or Reading are bad, you've seen nothing. The Italian league is full of goals and great forwards, people that talk about it being defensive haven't got a clue, Cavani, Milito, El Shaarawy, Di Natale, Miccoli, Klose, Toni Goals! Every week. And I have no idea who is going to win the thing, Do Juve need a striker? Have Inter turned a corner? Has Milan's start hindered them? Can Lazio/Napoli/Fiorentina challenge this year? Love it! Falcao is immense! He's basically keeping Atletico Madrid in touch with the guys at the top. Bilbao on the other hand are struggling bad. Is it time for Bielsa to go? PSG are very very disjointed. They struggle without Zlatan and they're playing in a league where the competition isn't very good. They should walk it if they get their act together (but probably wont). There are also some very weak goals scored in both the French and Dutch leagues. Finally, there are some very good sides in Germany, Bayern look epic but Dortmund look like they can match them, they have however been stretched by the Champions League.
And that, my readers, is a war on multiple fronts!
