Less Than A Week To Go

I am a hypocrite.

I really don't want to be. I want to not have anything to do with the World Cup in Qatar, starting next week. It goes against everything I stand against politically.

But I know I'll be watching.

Granted I'm no where near as "hyped" as the kids say (or used to say, I'm not sure they actually say that anymore) as I have been at previous tournaments.

My peak of "hypedness" has to be the run up to the 2006 tournament where from 50 days out I can up with a fact related to the number of days until the World Cup started and emailed it to my Girlfriend at the time. Yes I am that sad/obsessed.

And that's my problem. I'm genuinely addicted to the World Cup.

The lack of enthusiasm from other quarters has definitely had an effect though.

Barring a chat I had re England's previous performances at major tournaments and the Quiz I do with my 8 year old on the walk to school. I don't think I've thought much about this year's tournament.

I keep wondering whether the timing of the tournament in general has played a part in my partial apathy? Slap bang in the middle of a season, a season in which my own team is currently preforming so badly domestically.

Maybe. That's probably played a part too.

For me, I always say this. Generally when people say to me during a tournament, "Why are you staying in to watch that? England aren't even playing..." The World Cup doesn't come around that often, it's every four years.

For context, my kids were a 3 year old/toddler and twins that were a week old, at the beginning of the last tournament. I was doing a different job (in fact I've only ever had one job that has spanned two tournaments) and the World was genuinely a different place.

I had a stroke (actually two) at the beginning of this year. While they actually turned out to be relatively minor in terms of side effects, with hindsight I sometimes think, I genuinely could have died.

And not to trivialise a very serious matter, Russia 2018 could have been my "last tournament", as it was for the likes of Maradona and Paolo Rossi.

In the same way that this could be the one and only tournament for the some players called up to their national teams. I do wonder how they must feel about this all? In your prime and called up to represent your country in the pinnacle of the sport that you love (I'm not having any of that Champions League rubbish), and it's sullied due to the fact that FIFA sold out and decided to host it in a murderous regime, in the desert, in the middle of Winter.

What if you were say, Ricky Lambert or Daniel Sturridge, and this was 2014?

Anyway I'm not making any more excuses. I shall be watching and I perfectly understand, in fact respect those with a genuine love for the World Cup, who are more principled than me, and have come out and said they won't be consuming any of this year's tournament.

I just know I can't.

Diego Armando Maradona and the World Cup - 10 Things

He's my second favourite player of all time just ahead of Alessandro Del Piero and behind the Ronaldo (not that Portuguese guy). It's pretty impossible not synonamise Diego Maradona with the World Cup and Argentina's performances in the competition; whether it be from the perspective of a prodigious youngster not taken to the tournament, an influential captain dragging them through, or a past it lunatic ranting at another failed campaign. In a World Cup context we've been aware of Maradona's presence for 40 years now.

"So what are the ten things you remember of Maradona from the World Cup Travis?" I hear you ask. Well...

1. Squaring up to the whole Belgian defence in 1982
It's since been debunked as a trick of the camera. If you've not seen it before, this is basically an image of Maradona, ball at his feet, with 6 Belgians (in that wonderful Belgium 1982 kit) in his way, poised to go on another one of those runs.

What's actually happened is that the ball has dropped to his feet from a free kick on the edge of the box, hence everyone is behind the ball. I'm not even sure anything came of that particular situation, but because of his heroics 4 years later we've created this fantasy of him running through the scared Belgians. The reality is that Maradona and Argentina were thoroughly disappointing both in that game and in Spain in 1982.

2. Kung-fu kicking that Brazilian dude
As said in memory number 1, Maradona and Argentina were disappointing in 1982, Messi-like if you will ("shots fired"). After creeping out of their first round group they found themselves in a second group with perennial World Cup powerhouses Brazil and Italy.

Needless to say an Argentina pre the mystique created in 1986 were no match for either and Maradona was singled out for some "Special" treatment by both sides. Once the defending champions were 3-0 down and already eliminated from the tournament Maradona decided to exact his revenge in the only way he knew how...

3. That ball for Caniggia against Brazil
By 1990 Maradona was a fully bona-fide World Cup legend but, unfortunately for him, Argentina were a spent force. They would go on to reach the final under his steam, with Maradona's highlight of the tournament being a move where he rolled back the years showing the strength to hold off two Brazilian defenders, while threading the most irresistible through ball for Cannigia to run on to and round Taffarel. Ouuff!!

4. The terrible penalty against Yugoslavia
By 1990 the sheen was starting to fade on our legend. Sure he was still capable of producing moments like that ball against Brazil, but Maradona was carrying a bit of weight and was most certainly not capable of performing the same heroics as he'd done 4 years earlier in the Mexican heat. If ever there was evidence of his mortality it would be his pitiful penalty in the shootout with Yugoslavia. It's almost as if he thought he'd score just because he was "Maradona". Luckily Goyacachea was on hand to bail him out with a string of saves that set up a semifinal showdown with the hosts Italy.

5. Trying to turn Naples against Italy
It was a bold move! But nothing was considered too bold by Diego.

"Neapolitans you shouldn’t forget that in Italy they do not consider you to be Italians. The country comes and asks for your support for just one day of the year, and for the other 364 they’ll call you Africans."

It almost worked, according to some sources there were pockets of the crowd who weren't as hostile to their Argentinian visitors. Ultimately the battle was won anyway, Italy conceded their first goal of the tournament and subsequently lost the penalty shootout at the end of the game, this time Maradona taking his spot kick a little more seriously.

6. That goal against Greece
I remember rushing home from school to see this one and I wasn't disappointed. Argentina put Greece to the sword with Batistuta scoring a hattrick. But Diego stole the show with a thunderous left foot drive into the top corner, followed by that celebration where he looked possessed. There was still life left in the old dog!

7. His performance against Nigeria
I feel like Maradona doesn't get much credit for this performance, maybe that's because he subsequently failed a drug test at the end of the game. But his influence on the team, now aged 33, should not be downplayed. Especially in the group match against Nigeria. Argentina found themselves a goal down against an exciting attacking side that would beat them 2 years later on the way to winning the Olympics.

Then up steps Diego. First he's involved in an inventive free kick that the Nigerian goalkeeper spills enabling the equaliser. Then he plays a perfectly weighted quick free kick into the path of his old pal Caniggia to set up the winner. While it was then discovered that he'd failed a drugs test, it can be argued no performance enhancing drug can help you have that awareness or deft of touch to be able to play that killer ball for Caniggia, so this is going down as another display of genius for me.

8. Sitting in the stands like a spectre hanging over the modern day team
In my opinion Argentina have never gotten over Maradona leaving the side. Its no coincidence that they haven't won a major international competition since 1993 i.e. In the post-Maradona era. There's the whole "New Maradona" thing but I also think that the very fact that he can often be found somewhere in the ground during modern day Argentina World Cup matches (even in the dugout for a brief unsuccessful spell) has a negative effect on the team.

While he is quick to praise and celebrate, I can never forget the camera panning to him as he did that weird thing with his hands after that goal against Serbia (and Montenegro?) in 2006, Diego always has to chuck in his two cents when things aren't going so well. I'm sure we'll see him again this year.

1986
Right I've purposely left this bit, the best bit, for the end. Mexico 86 is Diego Maradona! It's where the legend is born. Where he cemented his place as the best ever, in my opinion (and many others).

9. Mexico 86 outside of the England game
Before we get into that game I think a point needs to be made of his other performances on, and off, the field in this tournament. In the group phase Maradona shows glimpses of what is to come in the game against South Korea; as do the Koreans who kick lumps out of him at every opportunity.

Against Belgium, probably still on a high from the England Quarter Final, he scores two great goals, one another mazy solo dribble with an explosive finish.

It's always said that Maradona was quiet in the final, as the West Germans had deployed Matthäus to man mark him for the whole game. But he still gets enough time and space to play the perfectly weighted through ball that enables Burochaga to score the match winning goal. So not that quiet then.

Aside from all this though. One of my favourite clips of Maradona in 1986 isn't actually of him playing football. As I said earlier Mexico 86 was his tournament both on and off the field. And we get to see how much of a bond he has with his team mates, as their captain too, when Maradona leads the dressing rooms in a rendition of...

"Argentina's going to be Champions! 
We dedicate this to you all, even the f***ing whores who gave birth to you."

An adapted song from the terraces. Aimed at the journalists back home who had slammed the team after an indifferent qualification campaign.

Expletives aside, I've always pointed to this clip as one of the fundamental things that separates Diego from Lionel Messi, who is as technically gifted as Maradona, but is often described as aloof and out of touch with the people of Argentina. In my opinion as a captain you win with the team, lose with the team and sing with it!

10. England
This is probably the first thing that sprang to mind when you read the title of this blog post. Maradona is both famous and infamous for the role he played in the Quarter Final against England.

If you've been living under a rock, or aren't English (and have been living behind a rock) you may not have heard about Maradona's contraversial Hand Of God goal, which often leads us in England to dismiss him as a cheat and gloss over his achievements when considering him up against the other greats in the history of the game.

Here's the thing though we, well not you and I, Terry Fenwick (unless Terry Fenwick is reading this, in that case you) spent the whole game kicking Maradona up in the air every time he got a sniff of the ball. We were no angels.

Also even the move for the illegal goal was brilliant. There's a little one two between Maradona and a team mate and then the ball is ricocheted up into the box and even then Diego has no right to win the ball. Even with his hand. Or with his hand close to his head, thus giving the impression he'd actually headed the ball in. Where was Shilton?

OK so you're not buying that because you're too hurt to forgive him even after 32 years, but you have to accept that the second goal is testament to the man's genius. Maradona spins away from Hoddle deep in his own half and then 20 seconds later he's rolled the ball in after going round Shilton. The goal gives me goosebumps every time I see it. It's just outstanding!

For me Maradona will always be a devisive character, a true example of a flawed genius. Whether you remember him for being the size of a house until he got his stomach stapled, hosting bizarre chat shows, ball juggling warm-ups, being led away to that infamous drugs test holding the nurse's hand (?!?) or being that kid in the grainy black and white footage scoring goals for Argentinos Junios against fully grown adults, it cannot be denied that he has made a lasting (and generally positive) impression on the World Cup.

Thanks Diego, I understand you!

You Come At The Kings, You Best Not Miss...

You'd think that this would be the case with the reigning World Champions, but in most cases World Title defences go out with a damp squib. In fact only two sides have successfully defended the World Cup and only one other has made the final.

So what has happened when people have Come At The Kings?

Well 1934 wasn't a great start! You've got to at least turn up if you want to defend the title. I can understand the South Americans not turning up in 38 when the tournament was held in Europe again but Uruguay should really have at least tried to go to Italy!

Their argument was that the Europeans had stayed away in 1930 so they were going to do the same, but the Belgians, Romanians, French and Yugoslavs had made that journey. The US travelled across the Atlantic to get pumped 7-1 by the hosts in a one off Knockout game! "Thanks for coming! Close the door on your way out...!" That's actually not 100% accurate. The Americans actually played Mexico in a one off qualifier in Rome  days before the tournament. So they at least played two games (unlike the poor Mexicans), even if they were sent home early in no uncertain terms. Poor form Uruguay!

1938 is one of the two occasions where the holders actually showed their supremacy. The Italians came through another straight knockout tournament in Europe. You can bet your life no Uruguayans went and got their passports renewed in preperation, same went for Argentina. They were outraged that the tournament hadn't gone back to South America. Of course Brazil were there, haplessly conspiring to ruin their chances of winning the things; resting the tournament's star player in the Semi Final at a time that there were no substitutes.

Any chance of the Italians coming out fighting in 1950 were hampered by two things. War (What's it good for? Absolutely nothing! Say it again...)*, which denied Argentina the right to host the tournament in 1942, not sure they'd have been up for the boat trip anyway considering general aversion to crossing the Atlantic back then. What's wrong with you guys?! Forget the 6 week journey, it's a World Cup! You can be a part of history! Think Barry Davies, Mexico 86, They think it's all over and all that...!

The second factor being the Superga Air Crash, which killed Il Grande Torino, the legendary Torino side who one back to back titles for 5 years straight; and made up the majority of the Italian national team. As a result of the tragedy, the reigning champs, who became the first to actually bother coming to the other side of the world to defend the World Cup, travelled by boat (Dennis Bergkamp style) while the rest of the competitors flew. And were knackered and relatively unfit by the time they arrived in Braaaaaasiw.

1954 saw the first proper attempt at a defence of the title from the Champs. I say this because by that point everybody had started to get the World Cup bug, I mean we were still a few years away from Barry Davies and BBC goal of the Tournament competitions set to naff (but nostalgically warming) soundtracks and graphics, but England were playing! And people were flying and resultantly prepared to cross the Atlantic.

Uruguay, the other half of the duopoly that dominated the World Cup when it came to actually winning the trophy (and not resting your best player in the Semi, declaring yourselves Champions prematurely or annexing your neighbours and trying to ride their coat tails or just not turning up because you think it's all beneath you), made it to the Quarter Finals dispatching of us along the way.

The only real thing to note from their title defence is their ill tempered defeat, later dubbed "The Battle of Bern" in which they were eliminated by the team considered the best in the World at the time, eventual losing finalists Hungary. Apparently tempers boiled over so much that a brawl kicked off in the tunnel and the changing rooms after the match, with the police having to step in.

I actually don't know much of what happened to the Germans in 1958. If memory serves me correctly they came 4th and Juste Fontaine scored 73 goals against them in the playoff (may have been 4). West Germany became the first team other than Uruguay and Italy to win the World Cup when they beat the Hungarians in the rain in Switzerland four years earlier. They couldn't repeat the feat in Sweden  probably partly down to the fact that they hadn't become the fearsome footballing nation that we are all familiar with nowadays (obviously there were no penalties back then either).

In Chile in 1962, one of the most seemingly mundane World Cups in my opinion (obviously after Italia 90, nothing was as drab as the penalty shoot out fest that was Italia 90), Braaaaaasiw unremarkably became the second, and last, team to successfully defend their title. And did it without Pele, one of the many reasons why I think Maradona was better (but that's for another day). Instead they had the goat sh*gging, mother in law killing, alcoholic, genius that was Garrincha to thank.

By 1966 Garrincha was on the decline and Pele had bottled it on the big stage again! I jest (again). As a result the Braaaaaasiwians (that's probably what Roy Hodgson actually calls them) were unceremoniously dumped out of the competition in the first round.

In the technicolor Mexican sun it was our turn to defend the trophy. And we did so without any hiccups, hence we now have two stars above our badge... If only!

What actually happened was our Captain got arrested for jewellery theft and our striker was carried off of an aeroplane on suspicion of being blind drunk on the eve of the tournament. Then our manager offended the locals, our best goalkeeper got food poisoning and his replacement had a howler a quarter final where we surrendered a 2 goal lead and were knocked out. Pretty successful campaign if you ask me!

If you think that was bad, Braaaaaasiw went from being that famous, "Here comes Carlos Alberto on the right...!" team in 1970 to a replica of Billy Bremner's Leeds side of the 70s, four years later in West Germany. I suppose they did still field a slightly overweight looking Rivelinho, but as you can imagine it wasn't the same. The mantle of "Entertainers" was passed on to Johan Cruyff's Dutch side.

In Argentina West Germany were apparently shockingly bad. Although they still made the second group stage, OBVIOUSLY. A bad German side is the equivalent of a good every other nation, while unspectacular it wasn't the worst title defence ever.

Argentina also disappointed four years later in Spain, despite having a young Diego Maradona in the side (the actual GOAT**). One thing that I hadn't appreciated, being 1 at the time of the tournament (don't worry I'm not going to start that again) was that the television station at the time refused to air the opening game of the tournament between the Champs Argentina and Belgium. Which the Argentinians failed to win (is it "Argentinians" or "Argentines"?).

Turns out Maradona's lot weren't so great away from South America, without President Vidiela paying opposing players a visit before key games. The Argentines/Argentinians had a stinker in 82 eventually limping out in the second group stage, with Maradona being sent off in a key game for retaliation to some of the "special attention" he'd been receiving from opposing defenders. This did at least set up the showdown of the tournament between the free scoring  free flowing Braaaaaasiw and the pragmatic slow starters (TM) Italy,  which the Italian's (or is it Italianians, kidding) eventually won. Probably the last we'd see of that young upstart Maradona...

From what I've seen we should always host the World Cup in North or Central America. 1970 looked great; 94 was/is my favourite tournament, bar the final; and 1986, the competition's second visit to Mexico, was an excellent colourful tournament full of exciting players and teams. Except for the holders the Italianians! So much so that I can barely remember what happened to them in the Mexican heat, it was that underwhelming!

From what I recall there was a game against South Korea? That might have been the tournament opener? And there was a game against the Argentine/Argentinians. Then they were eventually eliminated by the French (reigning European World Cup Champions of the Galaxy) in the second round. They'd have had to play Braaaaaasiw in the Quarter Finals anyway ...

Come 1990 the jig was well and truly up for Maradona and Argentina. Considering this was the first World Cup I watched, I can remember being thoroughly disappointed with them from the moment Benjamin Messing lost his boot trying to kick Caniggia into a pulp; through scraping past the USSR (they'd have gone out in the groups had it been the current 32 team format); Maradona's one moment of genius in the game against Braaaaaasiw, amid rumours that they drugged Branco; the penalties that saw off both the Yugoslavianians (I'm messing) and Italy; and that final! The worst World Cup final I've seen (and bear in mind all of the others that I didn't see live seemed to have been better).

But believe it or not, it would turn out that Argentina in 1990 aren't even the worst Champs I've seen in the 8 tournaments I've watched!

Germany weren't great in 1994. But then they're Germany, so that equated to a quarter final exit! Klinsmann did score a quality volley that he set up for himself against South Korea and they did take part in an entertaining 2nd round win over Belgium, which I missed because I was at Butlins (that's another story for another day). But Germany only put up slightly more of a fight than Argentina had 4 years earlier.

Braaaaaasiw in 1998 were probably the best ever reigning champions I've witnessed. For a start they had that Nike advert in the airport, that was worth a Semi Final place on its own. In all seriousness though  they were powered by the best player in the world at the time. Kids imagine Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo actually turned up at a big tournament and replicated what they do to Leganes and Sporting Hee Haw against decent teams... That's Ronaldo in 1998! The man was unstoppable! Except for the whole having a seizure hours before the final.

People talk about Zidane at France 98 but the reality was he only really stood out in the final. The French team is revered in hindsight, whereas Braaaaaasiw were feared, even Denilson!

We got to see the real France in Korea/Japan. Heavily reliant on an injured, and now probably the best in the world, Zidane. For me the best France team I've seen at the World Cup was the 06 lot, who basically tuned up for one last hurrah and came very close to winning the thing. The 02 iteration of the side didn't come near their level, despite being World and European World Cup of the Solar System & Galaxy Champions (I really need to stop with that joke  its been six years!).

Have you ever watched Every Which Way But Loose? Quick synopsis, if you never had ITV during the 1990s. Clint Eastwood is this Street Fighting Prize Fighter who gets his head turned by a pretty country singer he meets in a bar, while he's travelling the country in search of a fight with this legendary street fighter called "Tank Murdoch". At the end of the film he finally gets his fight with a very washed up and out of shape "Tank" but he loses to him, despite dominating the fight, either because the girl is in his head or because he sees that beating "Tank Murdoch" will send him down a similar path as the washed up folk legend that's he's pummelling... Brazil in 2006 were Tank Murdoch!

As much as I love Ronaldo (he's my joint favourite player of all time with Maradona), he just wasn't the electric forward that we saw in 98 or the the lethal finisher that bagged eight in 2002. He kind of walked around the pitch with his hands on his hips, looking like he was in the sort of shape I'd be in if chucked on to a field of Professional Footballers aged 28 (still managed to score this CLASSIC Ronaldo goal against Ghana in the last 16).

Then you had Ronaldinho, he'd graced 02 as part of the "3 R's" attack and was coming off the back of a monster season with Barcelona where he'd won the Champions League and been applauded at the Bernebau after taking Real Madrid apart. But 2006 looked a tournament too much for him despite the bucktoothed, Jerry Curled maestro only being 25/26 at the time.

Roberto Carlos lacked the agility to be as cavalier as he had been in the last two tournaments, and ended up looking like a lost fullback in a pub team (Especially in the defeat against France)! Even Adriano, who was given a shot power of 138,262,937 out of 99 on that year's Pro Evolution soccer disappointed.

It was a sad end to an era of Braaaaaasiwian dominance that had effectively lasted 12 years from the Romario/Bebeto team that was successful in the US.

If Braaaaaasiw were bad I'm not sure what adjective I'd use to describe the next two title defenses that were to come. Granted the Italians in 2010 were unlucky to lose Buffon to injury but they still should have qualified from a group containing Paraguay, New Zealand and Slovakia. The Italian's only achievement of note was a lovely chipped finish from Quagliarella in a frantic 3-2 defeat to the Slovakians. That and their reaffirmation of the "slow starting Italy" stereotype that is lazily rolled out by every pundit on UK television (at least we won't hear that one this year).

Finally we have Spain. Who'd have thought they would have continued trend that has seen 3 of the last 4 World Champions perish in the Group Stage of the following tournament. I blame their signing up of the Diego Costa, a man I recently (correctly) proclaimed to be the King of Shithousery, for a tournament which was to be held in his country of birth (I mean even that is trolling in my eyes)! Things rapidly went down hill for the Spanish (or is it Spaniards ...) and they found themselves dethroned after just two games, much to the delight of that old dude (who I'm assuming was Braaaaaasiwian) with the "Adios Spana" sign. Was that written on a tablet or did I imagine that? If it was, what a time to be alive!

I think what my ramblings will teach you is that one tournament's champion is so often another's laughing stock. Be it washed up has beens, cocky trolls or a bunch of Joga Bontians turned into Stoke! Four years is a long time, especially in a sport so heavily reliant on athleticism and current mental state. Look out Germany...!


*I jest, briefly. As someone with a history degree who has studied the first and second world wars, their causes and effects I'm conscious of trivialising them!

**See I'm down with the kids!

"And a Red card for Ray Wilkins..." 10 Lasting Memories of England World Cup Campaigns

This is kind of where I was planning to go in the next few weeks. I've not done any Ten Things for a while now, and am starting to catch World Cup Fever (promise I'll stop writing text in italics), which is making me want to come here more regularly. I can't think of a better way for a procrastinator like me to do the above, than to bullet ten loosely related subjects.

I was always going to start with England, in spite of the name of the blog. Because sometimes they are playing, sometimes you don't have to justify wanting to stay in and watch the football. Many of those times are during the World Cup.

The key decision for me was the subject I was going to kick off with. Two came to mind 10 Memorable England Goals (so tempted to italic that) or 10 memories in general. The passing of Mr Wilkins last week made the decision for me; he is associated with one of the overriding memories I have of us playing at the World Cup. It's such an indelible event that I think of it despite not actually watching that game because I was so young I wasn't into football.

1. Wilkins' Red card against Morocco

Before I get into this I'd just like to say how sad it is to hear of Ray Wilkins' death. I've never met the guy, and I only really got into football in the twilight of his career. For me he will always be the former QPR player manager, who used to be an Analyst on Football Italia. But from the outpouring tributes it's easy to establish that he was clearly one of life's good guys. I know that when people die it isn't the done thing to point out their flaws, so invariably you hear a lot of nice things about them; but there genuinely seems to be a lot of devastated people who worked with him over the last 30 years and have nothing to say other than than how kind and polite he was. And he kind of gave that impression.

So what happened Ray? Why were we down to 10 men having already lost our captain Bryan Robson to a dislocated shoulder, against the unfancied Moroccans?

Well it would appear that Wilkins, in a fit of petulance, threw the ball at the referee. Obviously that goes against all of the nice things I've just said about Ray, and in his defence it doesn't look like he threw the ball at him intentionally. Wilkins' reaction suggests the same too, he seems both shocked and devastated to see the referee pull out the red card, and is so poignantly downtrodden that the image of him disconsolately trudging off was used by the Sega Megadrive game European Club Soccer as a stock image for when your team had been dumped out of the European Cup. I think that's why I remember the incident so well!

Ray? Is that you? I can't find the original on the internet

2. David Beckham doing a "Ray Wilkins"

This one was definitely intentional, although it could be argued that the reactions from both the referee and the incumbent Atletico Madrid Manager, The King of modern day Catanaccio, Diego Simeone were way over the top. As was the reaction back home the following season, I'm pretty certain effigies were created and either burn or hung! Jesus! Anyway we wouldn't have beaten the Dutch had we gotten passed Argentina. Bergkamp would have scored that ridiculous goal against us.

3. England v Ireland 1990

I'm going to go a bit niche now. Forget all the stuff they show in the BBC clip shows in the run up to the tournament! This is the real sh*t! England versus the Republic of Ireland. England v The Republic of Ireland sums up Italia 90 for me. A dour tournament, full of teams willing to win by any means necessary. The game itself resembled Oldham versus Wimbledon on the Boundary Park plastic pitch. I mean Lineker's goal wow!

The Group that both teams were in, which also contained European Champions Holland along with Egypt, only managed to produce 1 result in 6 games and a total of 5 goals if memory serves me correctly. Although we were treated to the drawing of lots to decide who finished highed out of the Dutch and the Irish, something you don't see every day. The Irish lucked out and got Romania, while Holland went on to face the eventual World Champions Germany. And England? We went on to play Belgium, sneaking through thanks to David Platt's 120th minute volley and avoiding penalties, which we weren't aware that we we sh*t at at the time!

4. Penalty or Goal?!

This has happened to us twice in the World Cup. Twice when playing the Germans in a key Knock Out game. If you're unaware of what I'm referring to it's the old Ball hits the crossbar the quickly bounces down on to/in front of/behind (over) the line.

As I'm in full World Cup mode i.e. I'm watching/reading anything new (and old to be fair) that I can find relating to competitions past, I took the liberty of watching extended highlights of that game in 2010 against the Germans, when Lampards shot did the above and clearly went over the line. Watching it again it's actually scandalous that the goal wasn't given.

The giveaway is the fact that the ball hits the bar twice, which I hadn't noticed in all the commotion at the time. It's just physically impossible for that to happen barring witchcraft or playing FIFA against the Computer on Legendary mode. It defies physics.

The only crumb of comfort that can be taken is that we were terrible anyway, and even if we'd pulled the game back to 2-2, I have no confidence that the Germans wouldn't have run riot anyway. I mean I think Gareth Barry is still trying to catch up with Özil, who has since come over to England and proven that he isn't particularly pacey. How slow is Barry then?!? How did we ever expect to do anything at a World Cup with him playing in the middle?!

The other thing to consider here, which is becoming more apparent to me by the day, is that there's a good chance that the Geoff Hurst shot in 1966 didn't cross the line (Awks). I suppose as they say these things even themselves over the course of 44 years...

In either case they should've reverted to the tried and tested Penalty or Goal rule that served us so well in the playground!

5. Getting booed by your own fans

Same World Cup as the Lampard goal. I promise I'm going to talk about some positive stuff we've done (there's just not much). I actually think that our 2010 performance was actually worse than 2014 despite the fact that we went further. At least in 2014 we were up against Uruguay and Italy (let's gloss over the 0-0 with Costa Rica).

After the draw for 2010 the nations favourite xenophobic scaremonger, The S*n, ran with the famous "EASY" headline. The campaign itself turned out to be anything but. First there was America (Y) and "Oh! And Rob Green's missed it!" I cannot begin to explain how many people messaged me to berate me for Green's error on account of him being the incumbent West Ham number 1. I'm not his representative! I'd have caught that!

Then there was Algeria (A), which sticks with me for two reasons. Firstly the aforementioned Wayne Rooney quote, but secondly and more importantly/comically for the worst attempt at stepovers from an international footballer that I've ever seen.

No wonder the fans were booing!

Things got slightly better the next game, when we scraped past Slovenia with a 1st half header from Jermaine Defoe, but in all the 2010 campaign was a memorable one to forget (if you get my drift).

6. The Best England Side I've seen at a World Cup

I watched Italia 90, and have watched most of our games again since, we were not at our best! Obviously as a 9 year old I got caught up in all the excitement and thought it was on.

In 2002, on the other hand, we were very good. Comparatively speaking that is. I suppose the foundations were set at France 98, where we put in a semi credible performance. Tunisia were swept aside in the Marseille sunshine, and that young kid Scholes scored a "Worldie"; I'm not sure why I used that phrase, I never say "Worldie" it's the sort of thing I'd expect to hear from a self professed "Lad" who uses the phrase "Banter" way too much for my liking and takes what Jamie Redknapp says about the strength of the Premier League to be gospel. That is not me!

Anyway, like I was saying at France 98 the signs where there. We dispatched of an average Colombian side and held our own against an Argentina side containing Gabriel Batistuta in his prime and Ariel Ortega, The New Maradona.

So Korea/Japan rolls around and we're even better. We top a Group of Death containing the same Argentina side, although Batigol is now on the decline and I think there's a new New Maradona (gonna Google search who... it was either Ortega or Gallardo). Then we put Denmark to the sword, in what has to be the best and most convincing knock out victory we've had at a World Cup since I started watching in 1990. Actually scrap that I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's our best in the World Cup! Including when we won the thing! The only game I can think of as a comparison is Paraguay in 1986 when Lineker and Beardsley finally came good. I mean,  Heskey scored! Heskey! Stepovers against Algeria aka the New Denilson, Heskey scored!

And then came Braaaaaasiw. Now let's clear things up here, this was a very good good (maybe not as good as in France 98) Braaaaaasiw. With the "Three R's" in attack. And Ashley Cole is made to look silly for the equaliser (Heskey had been teaching Ronaldinho his tricks). But we took the lead,  and for a good 15-20 minutes after Owen's early goal  I thought we were going to beat them.

Alas it was not meant to be, and we'd have probably choked against the Germans in the Final or messed up the seemingly straightforward Semi against Turkey...

7. 1966

I wasn't about in 66. My mum was 8 at the time. But invariably I've seen loads of the tournament. Especially the bits featuring England. We look like we were decent. But then if you cast your eye wider than the Three Lions who else were good? Italy were  shamed against North Korea, despite dominating European club football at the time and winning the European World Cup two years later. Brazil were muscled out of the tournament like some sort of post 2004 Arsenal at the Reebok Stadium. Russia (or should I say the USSR) were good, as were Germany.

But we had the edge. By edge I mean refereeing decisions akin to the one we saw last night at the Bernabeu. Forget the penalty or goal shout in the final. I'll never get over reading about how the German referee sent the Argentine captain Ratin off "For the look in his eye" despite not being able to speak the same language as him or any other players from the Argentina team. Imagine the Twitter storm now! Imagine how many cards Anthony Martial would get with that sort of officiating. Or 90s Wimbledon forward Andy Clarke, the look in his was always a sinister one...

These two would be screwed with that ref

8. 1970

I always hear how the 1970 England side was even better than the one in 66. Obviously I have no idea as the tournament occurred 10 years before I was born (my mum was now 12 in case you're wondering and aren't very good at maths). But from the perspective of memorable moments alone 1970 trumps the tournament held 4 years earlier.

First you've got all of the off the field pre-tournament goings on. Alf Ramsey managed to offend the locals giving it his best "You can't drink the water here and I'm not eating any of that foreign muck..." Alf Garnett impression. Then skipper Bobby Moore gets arrested under suspicion of stealing a bracelet. And then you've got one of the players getting into trouble for being drunk and disorderly on a plane (was it Jeff Astle?) Great preparation for a title defence...  (that's another Blog post)

On the pitch there were also some memorable moments; some good, some not so good. You got that tackle by Moore (thanks Skinner & Baddiel) and that save by Gordon Banks. Then there are the Astle misses, was he drunk? And the capitulation in the sun while 2-0 up against the Germans in the quarter finals. The Beckenbauer header always sticks in my head.

In all 1970 was a World Cup that produced a lot of memorable moments and talking points involving many of the teams involved, and we did more than our best to bring something to the party.

9. Losing to the Americans in 1950

If my knowledge of 1966 and 70 is limited due to the fact that they were a long time ago forget about 1950.  "How old was your mum Travis?" I hear you ask, guys this blog isn't about my mum's age in comparison to notable world events! ...she was minus 8 (my nan was 19, so this was effectively her Euro 2000 in my eyes).

Anyway, I do know a little bit about what happened in 1950, mainly because it's one of the most fascinating tournaments to me. Because of the way it was structured and how it ended. 1950 is also the first time that the Home Nations entered the competition, and that came with it's own drama.

First you had Scotland forfeiting their place at the tournament as they only thought it was worth going if they finished top of their qualifying group (the Home Nations Championship) despite 2nd place in the competition earning a spot in Braaaaaasiw too.

Then you had England. We'd decided to enter, come top in the qualifying and were ready to show the World how it was done. First up an American side made up of amateurs, some of whom weren't even American. We all know what happened next right. We run out 10-1 winners and the times forgets to print the 1 before the 0...

10. "Did he just wink?"

"Remember when we used to get to Quarter Finals?" That's what everyone always says. I suppose it's true, although for a long time the quarter finals were essentially getting out of your first round group. And we missed a few of those competitions, either through arrogance (1930-38) or through underestimating Poland (74), basically more arrogance and being drawn with Italy and the European Champions Czechoslovakia* (78).

As I was saying anyway, Quarter Finals. That quote is from a Quarter Final, the infamous clash with Portugal in 2006. That whole tournament sticks out for me. Yet again we were terrible, bumbling past Paraguay and Trinidad then drawing with Sweden. And there was Owen twisting his knee, I'm not finding a clip of that, it grims me out.

The best part of that tournament was boozing with my mates from Harrow, which has become a bit of a tradition now. One of the best days out I've had featured Peter Crouch pulling on Brent Sancho's dreadlocks for leverage to head home and seal the win. England moved on from the group stage to scrape past Ecuador courtesy of a David Beckham free kick, which then set up a Quarter Final showdown with Portugal.

After spending the best part of an hour growing increasingly frustrated at the ball being aimlessly banged up to him, while on his own in the Portugal half, Wayne Rooney stamped on Ricardo Carvalho in a moment of petulance. The whole thing seems a bit harsh with hindsight, or maybe he's just a rubbish stamper. Then came the moment that incensed Alan Shearer. Cristiano Ronaldo appeared to wink towards the Portuguese bench as his Manchester United colleague trudged off dejectedly. Shearer, unable to hide his rage, picked up on this in the post-match analysis and classily hinted that Rooney should seek retribution when they both returned to United in the new season. Nice!

Hopefully this year we can produce more of the 1966, 1998 & 2002 moments and less of the 1990, 2010 & 2014. Either way, the key thing to note is my Mum is now 60 and my Nan 87...

Ciao!

*Can you believe my phone doesn't predict "Czechoslovakia" am I that old? I remember when Czechoslovakia was a place, it's not like I'm talking about Siam or Prussia

The Final Countdown

There you go, we have our final 32. 3 years of blood and sweat. Over 150 nations whittled down to just 32.

Now we look forward June (well December first, when we find out who plays who). To Russia! To the return of the greatest sporting event in the world!

Before we do that I feel like we should all shed a tear.

We should shed a tear for Fabbio Grosso and Marco Tardelli wheeling away in what almost always seems like slow motion. For Roberto Baggio's run against the Czechs in 1990 and his last gasp goal against Nigeria in 94

Shed a tear for Johan Cruyff absolutely bamboozling that Swedish right back, for Arie Haan repeatedly scoring from 30+ yards like it was an every day occurance. For the ball beautifully pulled down by Bergkamp and Dirk Nanninger bundling through the Argentinedefence.

Shed a tear Archie Gemmill dancing through the Dutch defence, even if it was too little too late. For David Nairey's belter that stirred the best side not to win the World Cup into life. For Müller scoring past Leighton from that ridiculous angle (if only Costa Rica had been different)*. For Strachan struggling to jump over the advertising hoardings.

Shed a tear for Brian McBride's crazy diving header. Eric Wynalda's free kick indoors. For stunning England in 1950.

Shed a tear for Roger Miller dancing in the corner after nicking the ball from Renne Higuita. For Benjamin Messing losing his boot trying to mame Caniggia. For Pierre Njanka going on that run against Austria.

Shed a tear for those Dance routines! For Asamoah Gyan (wearing number 3?! You're not a left back) and Kevin Prince Boateng stunning the Germans. For the heartbreak of missing that last minute penalty against Uruguay, which would have seen an African team make a semi final.

Shed a tear Gerry Armstrong blasting through Arkanada's legs. For the defence allowing Josimar to score THAT goal.

Shed a tear for Ray Houghton in the Giants Stadium. John Aldridge just trying to get a little water on in the heat. For O'Leary's penalty in Genoa and Robbie Keane's forward roll against the Germans. And for Roy walking out because you didn't even have bibs!

Shed a tear for sneaking into the second round to play COSTA RICA?!? Wait? How did that happen? 2004 couldn't happen again could it...? No!

Shed a tear for high energy football. Smashing the bar in extra time against Brazil. For faking an injury to try and get Brazil thrown out in qualifying (maybe not for that).

Shed a tear for going out unbeaten, despite being in a group with the reigning champions. For Winston Reid!

Actually don't shed anything. As stated before most of these guys had 2-3 years to get their sh*t in order. Time, and football, waits for no man. Hopefully lessons will be learnt and we'll see some of them in four years...

*Why do Scotland always draw either Brazil or Holland?? 

I'm back again, let's finish this shiz!

I've left  myself with a bit to do before the World Cup starts so you've got an update just over 48 hours since the last one. Why the hell am I doing this? I'm not a journo (you can probably tell that from my basic spelling mistakes). I can see that people are reading this stuff but to my knowledge nobody's demanding it?

Oh well, I am doing this. Let's cut to the chase, ditch the small talk and get down to the dirty business of talking World Cup history. Where were we? Oh 1990!

1990
1990 was the year I joined the party. I started watching football in the 1988/89 season meaning I missed Euro 88, so Italia 90 (the 1990 World Cup was in Italy by the way) was the first major tournament I ever saw. And you kids today don't know you're born. You've got YouTube, Sky Sports, BT Sport, ESPN, the Champions League (back then it was the European Cup and English teams were banned from it) and all that jazz. Back then in the build up to the tournament I think I saw a montage on BBC1 which lasted less than 5 minutes. And that was my World Cup build up.

Nearer the tournament somebody bought me a World Cup annual so I was able to have a look at some of the players that were going to be involved. The point I'm trying to make is that, come the opening game I knew next to nothing about Cameroon and actually pretty little about Argentina barring that Maradona was their main man. So while Cameroon beating the reigning champions 1-0 in the first game was a surprise to me, it wasn't until years later that the gravity of their victory hit home. To summarise, 1990 World Cup starts, reigning champions are beaten by a load of blokes that mainly played in the French 2nd division.

Argentina would struggle through the tournament but reach the final. Cameroon, on the other hand, would wow everyone with their colourful football, which was pretty raw at times, and almost beat us in the Quarter Finals.

Speaking of us, England did the best they've ever done at a World Cup, barring 1966 when we won it. But don't let the stat fool you. It was hardly a vintage performance. First there was the group stage. We draw 1-1 with Ireland, Holland and Egypt draw 1-1. Then we draw 0-0 with Holland, Ireland and Egypt draw 0-0. Finally we beat Egypt... 1-0 (Mark Wright header I believe), meanwhile Ireland and Holland draw 1-1 and as a result lots are drawn to decide who finishes higher of the two. To this day England's group in 1990 is probably one of the most boring groups I've ever experienced at a World Cup.

Moving on from the groups, England play Belgium in the 2nd round and score in the last minute of extra time to win 1-0. Then we play Cameroon and come back from being 2-1 with less than 20 minutes to go to win 3-2, mainly thanks to Cameroon's inability to win the ball off of their opponents without trying to kill them (like in the video above). We then move on to that Semi Final against the Germans, where they score from a heavily deflected free kick; Lineker saves our bacon near the end; Gazza fouls a German and gets booked meaning he'll miss the Final, if we get there; and we lose on penalties (the start of a tradition).

In the Final Germany beat Argentina 1-0 thanks to a penalty scored by their left footed, left back, with his right foot! The Final is pretty scrappy and the Argentines have two player sent off. Pedro Monzon becoming the first player to be sent off in a World Cup Final. It's also the first Final in which the losing team fail to score, since then there has only been ONE World Cup final in which the losing team has scored (2006) which tells you all you need to know about modern football tactics.

1994
The 1990 World Cup is widely regarded as one of the most negative and defensive tournaments ever (statistically it's the lowest scoring and it had the most penalty shootouts, joint with 2006 I think) but in my head it was great, probably because it was my first World Cup. 1994 was great because 1994 was great!! We were sceptical because football wasn't the number 1 sport in America (it was held in America by the way) and because England didn't qualify (that was a blessing in disguise, no Gabriel Clarke in the England camp reporting on stuff I couldn't give a toss about, while I'm trying to watch two teams that have nothing to do with England). What we got was a tournament played in glowing sunshine with big superstars like Romario, Roberto Baggio, Hagi, Stoichkov, Klinsmann, Batistuta, it was the best! There's been nothing like it since, nothing close!

Before a ball was kicked we got a chance to see some of the razzmatazz that the Americans could bring to the game in the form of an opening ceremony that many people remember very well. The best and  ost infamous moment of the whole thing being Diana Ross shanking a penalty, that was supposed to burst a goal open, horribly wide of the goal (be patient it's only about a minute and a half into the video).

This is the great Marco Etcheverry, I had genuinely forgotten what he looked like

In the football, Germany beat Bolivia in the opening game, Bolivia's star player, Marco Etcheverry came on as a sub, after much "bigging up" from the BBC commentator (I think it was the great Barry Davies), only to be sent off after a few minutes for striking an opponent. Italy started slowly (I think there should be an Italy Slow Starters/Defensive drinking game in this years tournament) losing to Ireland, narrowly beating Norway despite playing with 10 men for most of the game and then drawing with Mexico. Ireland just wanted to get some water on and make a sub against Mexico but the FIFA official was having none of it. Cue a massive row on the touchline while wearing mid 1990s style baseball caps. Italy, Ireland and Mexico all progressed from a ridiculously tight first round group, with Norway losing out on goals scored.

Romario was coolness personified, playing upfront for Brazil, he would spend most of a game doing very little and then burst into action as soon as the ball came near him. He and the baby rocking Bebeto fired Brazil all the way to the final, including both scoring in a 3-2 victory against Holland, which I missed because I was at somebody's 13th birthday party (England weren't even playing right?). Check out the BBC intro to the game, this was entertainment in its own right.

Cameroon proved they were a one hit wonder in 1990. They were terrible in 1994 and have been terrible in every World Cup they've appeared in since. They were so bad, one player, Oleg Salenko, scored 5 times against them in one game (a World Cup record). Nigeria, on the other hand, had a great tournament (and like Cameroon in 1990, would never repeat the same feat), they pushed Argentina close in their group match, beat Bulgaria, who eventually finished 4th; and were only beaten by Roberto Baggio carrying the the slow starting, defensive, Italians.

Maradona got sent home for failing a drugs test, after putting in two great performances in Argentina's first two games (he claimed it was treatment for a cold). Argentina then crash out in the second round to Romania, who like Bulgaria, were having a great tournament being led by their star player Gheorghe Hagi, they along with the USA and Switzerland knocked out Pele's pre tournament picks Colombia (that dude knows nothing, his endorsement is the kiss of death, no pun intended). Unfortunately, their captain Andreas Escobar scored an own goal and was killed by people linked to one of the Colombian drug cartels upon his return to Colombia.

Germany were dumped out by the Bulgarians in the Quarter Finals despite taking the lead through a dodgy penalty. And Sweden reached the Semi Finals, eventually finishing 3rd. The whole tournament was a success with the exception of one thing... The Final.

What the hell is Pele wearing? You would not catch Jogi Löw wearing that!

The Final, a 0-0 draw between Brazil and Italy was one of the worst World Cup finals ever (slightly better than 1990). The only thing of note that happened was some fella called Viola went on a few runs for Brazil (I've never seen or heard of him since) and at one point Pagliuca, the Italian goalkeeper, spilled the ball and it hit both posts. Other than that it was terrible. The only thing worse was Pele's Stars and Stripes tie that he is seen wearing during the Penalty Shootout that Brazil won. Nuff said!

1998
There were a couple of things that I've mentioned in previous posts, that were of note in 1998. The first was Scotland qualified for the World Cup, for the last time to date. And were promptly eliminated in the first round. The 2nd was Ronaldo. See Ronaldo was in the Brazilian squad in 1994 but he wasn't needed, what with Romario and Bebeto around. By 1998 it was his time. He was bang on form and considered the best player in the world. With his goals, Brazil, featuring Roberto Carlos, Rivaldo and Denilson (the ineffective stepover guy), reached the final. Surely they'd win right?

England were back! We actually looked half decent in 1998, comparatively speaking that is. We beat Tunisia and Colombia, fair enough we lost to Romania (thanks Phil Neville!) but genreally this was one of th better England performances at a World Cup that I've watched (except for maybe 2002). Owen scored that goal against Argentina (by the way, it's a good goal but please don't compare it to Maradona, he basically just ran as fast as he could then hit it). Then Beckham goes and gets himself sent off, the game finishes 2-2 and we lose on penalties.

Elsewhere France, the hosts (I'm really bad at this host naming malarky aren't I) playing in their first World Cup since 1986, win their group despite Zidane having a red mist moment and getting himself sent off in one of the games (where have we seen that before?). Then they score the first ever World Cup "Golden Goal"* beating Paraguay 1-0. Beat Italy on penalties in the Quarter Finals, after a 0-0 draw (see my footnote re the Golden Goal) and then beat Croatia 2-1 in the Semi Final thanks to Lilian Thuram scoring his only ever two goals for France in an outer body experience (his description of it, not mine).

Germany got dumped out in the Quarter Finals again, Croatia running riot against them. Holland got to the Semi Finals, beating Argentina in a bad tempered game thanks to one of the great World Cup goals, scored by Dennis "I ain't getting on no plane fool" Bergkamp. The Dutch were stopped on penalties (what!?! didn't anyone go for a "Golden Goal"?) by the Brazilians after a 1-1 draw.

So a it was a France v Brazil Final. Like I was saying before, Brazil with Ronaldo and co surely couldn't be stopped... Or could they? Well on the day of the Final Ronaldo has a seizure at the team hotel, some of his team mates think he's dying, but he recovers and even makes the Brazil starting XI (they rest Leonidas in 38 for no reason yet they play Ronaldo in 98 despite him suffering a pretty traumatic experience?). The whole thing leaves the Brazil team pretty shaken and that coupled with the fact that, in typical Brazilian fashion, they weren't the greatest defenders, Brazil are beaten 3-0. Zidane gets two headed goals from two corners and they get a third catching Brazil on the counter attack.

To be fair though, Brazil may not have won the World Cup in 1998, but they did make one of the greatest Nike adverts of all time.

*What a load of crap the Golden Goal was eh! In case you don't know what it is, it was a rule that said if a knockout game finished level after 90 minutes the two teams would play 30 minutes of extra time where the first team to score would automatically win the match. It was supposed to encourage attacking play and stop penalty shootouts but what it actually did was make teams scared of conceding a goal and create more penalty shootouts. FIFA are such idiots!

Since the 1990s the World Cup has taken a major dip so I'm not gonna go into great detail with the last 3 tournaments. Here's an even briefer summary of them.

2002
Hosted in Korea & Japan. Korea get to the Semis with some dodgy decisions. Ronaldo comes back with a vengeance and scores 8 (including 2 in the final). England aren't that bad, until Ashley Cole has his mind blown by stepovers. And Brazil won it by the way.

2006
Brazil are over the hill. Ronaldinho flops despite being the best player in the world. Germany are decent, despite being rubbish at Euro 2004 (they're the hosts by the way). Argentina look good, but then they lose on penalties to Germany in the Quarter Finals; they then start a fight because they can't take it (remember that phrase from school?). Italy win the tournament; taking, a very defensive, 6 forwards to the tournament (all of whom score on the way to the Final). They beat France who show that despite looking past it, there's still some life left in them.

2010

Terrible World Cup





...I'm genuinely not saying much about it. This was probably my least favourite tournament that I've seen. Spain won (there's something that happened).

Couldn't care less, rubbish World Cup

What a difference four years make

Somebody tell 'Pops' it's not over 30s night!

Four Years is a long time. It's 1,461 days, 2 million 103 thousand 840 minutes (I used a calculator to work that out, I'm not that clever). As this blog post is about to reveal, it's the difference between being a fat dude derided by millions and a goal machine feared by all opponents. Leap years occur every four years because the earth drifts so much out of sync with time within that time frame that we need to correct this by adding another day to our calendars. Many sporting events occur in four year cycles; the Olympic Games, various non-footballing sports World Championships, the football European Championship and quite possible the greatest event of all, the football World Cup. Obviously the next few paragraphs will focus on this (those of you that aren't that interested in football might as well just jump to the last paragraph).

I'm not really sure as to why a four year gap was chosen between World Cups. Why not a number like five or ten? We tend to count in bases of five and ten due to the digits on our hands. Why not two years or even one? They probably didn't choose one or two due to the travel constraints back in 1930, or was the format determined by the fact that the Summer Olympics were separated by 4 year intervals (they definitely wouldn't have been able to travel as well back in 1896 or 1900). Regardless of the reasoning behind the World Cup occurring every four years the timing of the interval is perfect; soon enough that you're not left waiting too long but long enough for the footballing world to have evolved, meaning the outcome of the tournament can seldom be predicted.

For me the four year gap makes the World Cup something to cherish, the way I see it, and this may sound silly or even slightly morbid, I could be dead by the time of the next tournament. Either that or blind (imagine being blind during a World Cup, that would be the ultimate torture). As extreme as my suggestion above sounds an element of it does ring true, in fours years lives change, priorities change. So as far as I'm concerned I need to watch as many games as possible.

And just to justify my logic let's take a look at how much can change in 2,103,840 minutes through what I consider to be the ultimate barometer of quadrennial change, the World Cup itself.

This is Ronaldo

The first exhibit I'd like to refer to is my favourite footballer of all time, back in 2007 I found myself doing a bit of mental arithmetic in an attempt to establish whether he'd still be young enough to be considered for his country's 2010 World Cup squad. Alas he was barely fit for the side in 2006, come 2010 I'm not even sure he'd have fitted into a kit. The person I'm talking about is Ronaldo Luís Nazário de Lima or more commonly known as Ronaldo. The Ronaldo, you will never catch me referring to Christiano Ronaldo as "Ronaldo", in fact I judge people who do this. Ronaldo's performances over the course of his 12 year World Cup career are the perfect example of how much can change in four years. In 1994 (yeah, he was there) he never kicked a ball, I remember seeing him running off the bench at the final celebrating with the rest of the substitutes. A buck toothed 17 year old boy that I'd heard rumblings about but, what with the lack of YouTube, knew absolutely nothing about. In 1994 it was all about Romario (and to a lesser extend Bebeto), Brazil didn't require the services of Il Fenomeno.

In 1998 they most certainly did. After tearing up both the Dutch and Spanish leagues Ronaldo was now the main man. He wore the number 9 shirt that Romario had claimed four years earlier, god knows what shirt number he had in 1994 (not even I know and I'm normally up with sad facts like that). Romario was nowhere to be seen, he didn't even make the final 22 man squad (it was 22 rather than 23 back then just I case you think that's a typo), Bebeto somehow did though?!? In case you're totally new to this World Cup lark, I'll briefly fill you in. In 1998 a Ronaldo led Brazil got to the final against France, despite their defensive frailties, only for Ronaldo to have a seizure on the morning of the final. The whole experience proved too much for the Brazilians and the were easily swept aside, losing 3-0.

This guy ate Ronaldo

Four years later in Korea & Japan (2002 for anyone that can't do simple addition) Ronaldo basically took out his frustrations  from 1998 on the rest of the competition and became the first man to score more than 6 goals in a tournament since Lato in 1974 (he got 8). That's all you get regarding 2002. Ronaldo was a beast, Brazil won it, let's move on to Germany (2006). In 2006 the guy that turned up with the Brazilian team was not Il Fenomeno. He'd scored a couple in qualifying, he even wore the number 9 shirt, but the shirt was at least a size bigger than it had been in 2002 (if not, 2 sizes). For me 2006 was really sad, because it looked as if Brazil and Ronaldo were clinging on to former glories. Pundits and fans have continually mocked Ronaldo ever since and he's become known as "Fat Ronaldo" (even my girlfriend has referred to him as"Fat Ronaldo", sacrilege!!). The man who four years earlier achieved what no player had done in 24 years was now trotting around out of breath, looking like an old Sunday League player. So my dream that Ronaldo would suddenly shed a couple of stone and somehow end up fitter aged 33 in 2010 never did come true (shock). I'm now hoping that this year is four years too late for 35 year old (turning 36 on the eve of the tournament) Miroslav Klose, who is two goals away from breaking Ronaldo's record for the most goals in World Cup tournaments. Ronaldo deserves that record; please god, make Klose look like a pub footballer.

The real 'Golden Generation

In 2002 Italy should have won the world cup. Maybe "won" is a bold statement but they should have definitely got to say the Final. Evidence to back my bold statement up comes from their performance in 2006 when they did win the tournament, but that's not the basis for my statement. The conviction of my proclamation comes from the the side they the had on paper, Buffon, Maldini, Nesta, Canavarro, Gattuso, Totti, Del Piero, Vieri and Inzaghi. Ask any Italian to name the best of the Azzurri over say the last quarter of a century and the only players who may be able to trump the aforementioned names would be say Roberto Baggio, Baresi and maybe Pirlo. What I'm getting at is the 2002 squad contained a true "Golden Generation", and I'm not talking about those ridiculously false "Golden Generations" that England are supposed to have had at every world cup in the last 10 years (despite being above average, at best). These are some of the finest players to have played for the Italians in the last 20 plus years and they should have gone a lot further.

Being the saddo that I am, in the build up to this year's world cup, I've been watching highlights (genuinely highlights, not clips) of games from the world cup from about 1978 onwards. One of the things that has stood out for me that I probably didn't appreciate back in 2002 was that Italy were absolutely robbed against South Korea in the 2nd round. Had the internet and social media existed in the forms that they do nowadays (or had Italy been England), I don't think we'd have every heard the end of the fallout from that game. It was a joke, red cards, penalties, disallowed goals (and there were loads of em), it says a lot about the referee Byron Moreno that he was subsequently banned domestically for another questionable performance and then jailed for two and a half years for heroin smuggling. Anyway, I feel like I'm drifting away from the subject here, the point I'm trying to make is that Italy were robbed in 2002 but were, luckily for them, good enough to still win the tournament 4 years later in 2006 with many of the players that were part of the squad in Korea/Japan.

But then came 2010. In 2010 their luck ran out; those that remained from 2002 & 2006 were definitely past it and those that replaced the departed/retired squad members, just weren't good enough. Italy went from being a fairly expansive attacking (cleverly attacking) team in 2006, despite the lazy stereotypes, to a team clinging on in 2010, reaffirming the lazy defensive tag they're so often given. Struggling to two draws and a defeat in a fairly straightforward group containing Slovakia (it was Slovakia right? I always mix them up with Slovenia), New Zealand and Paraguay. It was like that bit at the end of Every Which Way But Loose where Clint Eastwood's character is battering the legendary fighter Tank Murdoch, who's just living off of his reputation. If you don't know what I'm talking about, and you probably don't, that film is so old my dad ALWAYS tells me the story of how it was the last thing he went to watch in the cinema, I suggest you watch it online somewhere (or wait for it to come on ITV late on a Wednesday night as it always does).

Italy became the 2nd team in the history of the world cup to crash out in the first round (Brazil being the first in 1966, although Uruguay went one better and refused to defend it in 1934*) in 2010. What a difference 4 years makes eh, you've got to make your chance count.

He hardly looks a fresh faced angel but compare this to the pic below

Another piece of evidence of the effects of a 4 year gap on the fortunes of both nations and individual player is the roller-coaster ride of a story that belongs to Diego Maradona and Argentina between 1978 and 1994. In 1978 Maradona was a slim (yeah slim, I should stop at that with this story he hasn't been slim since the early 1980's) promising teenage sensation in 1978 and was controversially left out of the world cup squad. Not that they needed him, they won it anyway, Mario Kempes, dodgy results against Peru, protesting about plaster casts and all that. In 1982 he was now in his early twenties. Everyone knew who he was but he wasn't quite the finished article yet, Italy famously shackling him in the 2nd round, so much so that he was eventually sent off for retaliating to the "special attention" he was receiving and Argentina crashed out.

You couldn't get a more chalk and cheese comparison from 1982 to 1986, despite the retention of the awful 80's graphics with all television broadcasts, including the little flashing "R" when you were watching a replay; just in case you mistook a replay of an incident as a case of you having a strong sense of deja vu. Maradona was amazing, he probably put in the greatest individual performance by a player at the world cup and Argentina romped home (yes he scored against us with his hand but he also scored at least two goals that tournament where ran past or even through half the opposition on his way to goal). In 1990 it was failure again for Argentina, they would have been out in the group stages had it not been for the 24 team format which enabled the best 3rd placed teams to sneak through to the 2nd round. They got through to the final courtesy of two penalty shoot outs and a magnificent assist from Maradona against Brazil but it wasn't the same, and Maradona was starting to look a lot less svelte. By 1994 Argentina were most certainly living off of their former glories, they were considered decent despite only qualifying via a play off (and a close play off if my memory serves me correctly) with Australia, who were not as strong as they are nowadays. Maradona provided another great assist for Caniggia against Nigeria (I'll leave you to Google that one) and scored a good goal against the Greeks but he would later fail a drugs test and the Argentines would crash out in the 2nd round against Romania.

The last football related contrast I want to talk about is that of Brazil between 1970 and 1974. I know they got to the 2nd round and I think could have mathematically made the final at one point but this is Brazil. Like Germany, getting far in a world cup means next to nothing to them and this side was following up from the performances of the side that many often romanticise about being the best ever. Just as with the Italians of 2002 I can reel off the names in the 1970 Brazillian team, despite the tournament occurring 10 and a half years before I was even born, Pele, Jairzinho, Tostao, Clodolado, Gerson, Carlos Alberto and Rivelinho. Rivelinho sticks out the most for me when I think of the difference between the side in 1970 and 1974, the main reason being that he's the only name from the 1970 side, that I know of, that played in 1974. For me what doesn't help Rivelinho is the way he looks. In 1970 he and rest of the gang were exciting and the football was free flowing. Come 1974 it was all a bit uglier and Rivelinho himself had kinda the look of that old guy in a nightclub, the one with his first 4 shirt buttons undone, showing off his medallion, a good few years older than all of the other club goers (or in this case, his Brazilian team-mates) and just that little bit out of fashion. That's what 1974 did to my image of Rivelinho. As I said before, what a difference 4 year make.

And then there's me. Every world cup my life is significantly different than it was at the last one. In 1990 I was a 9 year old boy, in awe of the whole thing. USA 94 saw a young teenager dazzled by the colour of it all, fighting to stay up and watch the midnight kick-offs. Come 1998 in France I'd found pubs and Alcohol, one of my lasting memories being watching the Brazil v Denmark quarter final in one of the few pubs in Enfield that you could regularly go to as a 17 year old without getting ID'd. By 2002 I'd just finished uni, I was basically a lay about, struggling to wake up to watch games that kicked off at 7am. 2006 was the first world cup I experienced while in full time employment, I didn't enjoy that. Missing afternoon games is not my thing! In 2010 I had my own place and was married, if I'm being honest I wasn't massively happy with my life. It is of no surprise that of all the world cups I've watched 2010 is the one I struggle to recall the most despite being the most recent. And now there's 2014. My life has completely changed direction for the better and I love it! I'm in a great place in 2014 and I feel like this year I'm going to have a great world cup (listen to me talking like I'm playing in it or something). In my head 2014 is going to be the tournament that 2010 could never be and no matter what happens in the 30 or so days after June the 12th I know that it'll be totally different to what I've ever experienced and nothing like anything that happens in the future.

What a difference four years make!

*Did they think it was going to be hosted in Uruguay/South America every year or something??