Wednesday, 11 June 2014

I'm back again, let's finish this shiz!

I've left  myself with a bit to do before the World Cup starts so you've got an update just over 48 hours since the last one. Why the hell am I doing this? I'm not a journo (you can probably tell that from my basic spelling mistakes). I can see that people are reading this stuff but to my knowledge nobody's demanding it?

Oh well, I am doing this. Let's cut to the chase, ditch the small talk and get down to the dirty business of talking World Cup history. Where were we? Oh 1990!

1990
1990 was the year I joined the party. I started watching football in the 1988/89 season meaning I missed Euro 88, so Italia 90 (the 1990 World Cup was in Italy by the way) was the first major tournament I ever saw. And you kids today don't know you're born. You've got YouTube, Sky Sports, BT Sport, ESPN, the Champions League (back then it was the European Cup and English teams were banned from it) and all that jazz. Back then in the build up to the tournament I think I saw a montage on BBC1 which lasted less than 5 minutes. And that was my World Cup build up.

Nearer the tournament somebody bought me a World Cup annual so I was able to have a look at some of the players that were going to be involved. The point I'm trying to make is that, come the opening game I knew next to nothing about Cameroon and actually pretty little about Argentina barring that Maradona was their main man. So while Cameroon beating the reigning champions 1-0 in the first game was a surprise to me, it wasn't until years later that the gravity of their victory hit home. To summarise, 1990 World Cup starts, reigning champions are beaten by a load of blokes that mainly played in the French 2nd division.


Argentina would struggle through the tournament but reach the final. Cameroon, on the other hand, would wow everyone with their colourful football, which was pretty raw at times, and almost beat us in the Quarter Finals.

Speaking of us, England did the best they've ever done at a World Cup, barring 1966 when we won it. But don't let the stat fool you. It was hardly a vintage performance. First there was the group stage. We draw 1-1 with Ireland, Holland and Egypt draw 1-1. Then we draw 0-0 with Holland, Ireland and Egypt draw 0-0. Finally we beat Egypt... 1-0 (Mark Wright header I believe), meanwhile Ireland and Holland draw 1-1 and as a result lots are drawn to decide who finishes higher of the two. To this day England's group in 1990 is probably one of the most boring groups I've ever experienced at a World Cup.

Moving on from the groups, England play Belgium in the 2nd round and score in the last minute of extra time to win 1-0. Then we play Cameroon and come back from being 2-1 with less than 20 minutes to go to win 3-2, mainly thanks to Cameroon's inability to win the ball off of their opponents without trying to kill them (like in the video above). We then move on to that Semi Final against the Germans, where they score from a heavily deflected free kick; Lineker saves our bacon near the end; Gazza fouls a German and gets booked meaning he'll miss the Final, if we get there; and we lose on penalties (the start of a tradition).

In the Final Germany beat Argentina 1-0 thanks to a penalty scored by their left footed, left back, with his right foot! The Final is pretty scrappy and the Argentines have two player sent off. Pedro Monzon becoming the first player to be sent off in a World Cup Final. It's also the first Final in which the losing team fail to score, since then there has only been ONE World Cup final in which the losing team has scored (2006) which tells you all you need to know about modern football tactics.

1994
The 1990 World Cup is widely regarded as one of the most negative and defensive tournaments ever (statistically it's the lowest scoring and it had the most penalty shootouts, joint with 2006 I think) but in my head it was great, probably because it was my first World Cup. 1994 was great because 1994 was great!! We were sceptical because football wasn't the number 1 sport in America (it was held in America by the way) and because England didn't qualify (that was a blessing in disguise, no Gabriel Clarke in the England camp reporting on stuff I couldn't give a toss about, while I'm trying to watch two teams that have nothing to do with England). What we got was a tournament played in glowing sunshine with big superstars like Romario, Roberto Baggio, Hagi, Stoichkov, Klinsmann, Batistuta, it was the best! There's been nothing like it since, nothing close!

Before a ball was kicked we got a chance to see some of the razzmatazz that the Americans could bring to the game in the form of an opening ceremony that many people remember very well. The best and  ost infamous moment of the whole thing being Diana Ross shanking a penalty, that was supposed to burst a goal open, horribly wide of the goal (be patient it's only about a minute and a half into the video).

This is the great Marco Etcheverry, I had genuinely forgotten what he looked like
In the football, Germany beat Bolivia in the opening game, Bolivia's star player, Marco Etcheverry came on as a sub, after much "bigging up" from the BBC commentator (I think it was the great Barry Davies), only to be sent off after a few minutes for striking an opponent. Italy started slowly (I think there should be an Italy Slow Starters/Defensive drinking game in this years tournament) losing to Ireland, narrowly beating Norway despite playing with 10 men for most of the game and then drawing with Mexico. Ireland just wanted to get some water on and make a sub against Mexico but the FIFA official was having none of it. Cue a massive row on the touchline while wearing mid 1990s style baseball caps. Italy, Ireland and Mexico all progressed from a ridiculously tight first round group, with Norway losing out on goals scored.

Romario was coolness personified, playing upfront for Brazil, he would spend most of a game doing very little and then burst into action as soon as the ball came near him. He and the baby rocking Bebeto fired Brazil all the way to the final, including both scoring in a 3-2 victory against Holland, which I missed because I was at somebody's 13th birthday party (England weren't even playing right?). Check out the BBC intro to the game, this was entertainment in its own right.

Cameroon proved they were a one hit wonder in 1990. They were terrible in 1994 and have been terrible in every World Cup they've appeared in since. They were so bad, one player, Oleg Salenko, scored 5 times against them in one game (a World Cup record). Nigeria, on the other hand, had a great tournament (and like Cameroon in 1990, would never repeat the same feat), they pushed Argentina close in their group match, beat Bulgaria, who eventually finished 4th; and were only beaten by Roberto Baggio carrying the the slow starting, defensive, Italians.

Maradona got sent home for failing a drugs test, after putting in two great performances in Argentina's first two games (he claimed it was treatment for a cold). Argentina then crash out in the second round to Romania, who like Bulgaria, were having a great tournament being led by their star player Gheorghe Hagi, they along with the USA and Switzerland knocked out Pele's pre tournament picks Colombia (that dude knows nothing, his endorsement is the kiss of death, no pun intended). Unfortunately, their captain Andreas Escobar scored an own goal and was killed by people linked to one of the Colombian drug cartels upon his return to Colombia.

Germany were dumped out by the Bulgarians in the Quarter Finals despite taking the lead through a dodgy penalty. And Sweden reached the Semi Finals, eventually finishing 3rd. The whole tournament was a success with the exception of one thing... The Final.

What the hell is Pele wearing? You would not catch Jogi Löw wearing that!
The Final, a 0-0 draw between Brazil and Italy was one of the worst World Cup finals ever (slightly better than 1990). The only thing of note that happened was some fella called Viola went on a few runs for Brazil (I've never seen or heard of him since) and at one point Pagliuca, the Italian goalkeeper, spilled the ball and it hit both posts. Other than that it was terrible. The only thing worse was Pele's Stars and Stripes tie that he is seen wearing during the Penalty Shootout that Brazil won. Nuff said!

1998
There were a couple of things that I've mentioned in previous posts, that were of note in 1998. The first was Scotland qualified for the World Cup, for the last time to date. And were promptly eliminated in the first round. The 2nd was Ronaldo. See Ronaldo was in the Brazilian squad in 1994 but he wasn't needed, what with Romario and Bebeto around. By 1998 it was his time. He was bang on form and considered the best player in the world. With his goals, Brazil, featuring Roberto Carlos, Rivaldo and Denilson (the ineffective stepover guy), reached the final. Surely they'd win right?

England were back! We actually looked half decent in 1998, comparatively speaking that is. We beat Tunisia and Colombia, fair enough we lost to Romania (thanks Phil Neville!) but genreally this was one of th better England performances at a World Cup that I've watched (except for maybe 2002). Owen scored that goal against Argentina (by the way, it's a good goal but please don't compare it to Maradona, he basically just ran as fast as he could then hit it). Then Beckham goes and gets himself sent off, the game finishes 2-2 and we lose on penalties.

Elsewhere France, the hosts (I'm really bad at this host naming malarky aren't I) playing in their first World Cup since 1986, win their group despite Zidane having a red mist moment and getting himself sent off in one of the games (where have we seen that before?). Then they score the first ever World Cup "Golden Goal"* beating Paraguay 1-0. Beat Italy on penalties in the Quarter Finals, after a 0-0 draw (see my footnote re the Golden Goal) and then beat Croatia 2-1 in the Semi Final thanks to Lilian Thuram scoring his only ever two goals for France in an outer body experience (his description of it, not mine).

Germany got dumped out in the Quarter Finals again, Croatia running riot against them. Holland got to the Semi Finals, beating Argentina in a bad tempered game thanks to one of the great World Cup goals, scored by Dennis "I ain't getting on no plane fool" Bergkamp. The Dutch were stopped on penalties (what!?! didn't anyone go for a "Golden Goal"?) by the Brazilians after a 1-1 draw.

So a it was a France v Brazil Final. Like I was saying before, Brazil with Ronaldo and co surely couldn't be stopped... Or could they? Well on the day of the Final Ronaldo has a seizure at the team hotel, some of his team mates think he's dying, but he recovers and even makes the Brazil starting XI (they rest Leonidas in 38 for no reason yet they play Ronaldo in 98 despite him suffering a pretty traumatic experience?). The whole thing leaves the Brazil team pretty shaken and that coupled with the fact that, in typical Brazilian fashion, they weren't the greatest defenders, Brazil are beaten 3-0. Zidane gets two headed goals from two corners and they get a third catching Brazil on the counter attack.

To be fair though, Brazil may not have won the World Cup in 1998, but they did make one of the greatest Nike adverts of all time.

*What a load of crap the Golden Goal was eh! In case you don't know what it is, it was a rule that said if a knockout game finished level after 90 minutes the two teams would play 30 minutes of extra time where the first team to score would automatically win the match. It was supposed to encourage attacking play and stop penalty shootouts but what it actually did was make teams scared of conceding a goal and create more penalty shootouts. FIFA are such idiots!

Since the 1990s the World Cup has taken a major dip so I'm not gonna go into great detail with the last 3 tournaments. Here's an even briefer summary of them.

2002
Hosted in Korea & Japan. Korea get to the Semis with some dodgy decisions. Ronaldo comes back with a vengeance and scores 8 (including 2 in the final). England aren't that bad, until Ashley Cole has his mind blown by stepovers. And Brazil won it by the way.

2006
Brazil are over the hill. Ronaldinho flops despite being the best player in the world. Germany are decent, despite being rubbish at Euro 2004 (they're the hosts by the way). Argentina look good, but then they lose on penalties to Germany in the Quarter Finals; they then start a fight because they can't take it (remember that phrase from school?). Italy win the tournament; taking, a very defensive, 6 forwards to the tournament (all of whom score on the way to the Final). They beat France who show that despite looking past it, there's still some life left in them.

2010

Terrible World Cup





...I'm genuinely not saying much about it. This was probably my least favourite tournament that I've seen. Spain won (there's something that happened).

Couldn't care less, rubbish World Cup

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