10 Things: Week 7 - 10 Things I loved about playing football as a child

I've been thinking a lot about school recently, primarily because I'm jealous that I don't get to finish my working day at some point between 3:00 & 3:30 and also don't get 6 weeks off smack bang in the middle of the hottest time of the year (I should probably say 'mildest', it's never consistently hot is it). One of the things I also miss from my school days is the many ways in which we attempted to recreate the beautiful game and mimic what we'd seen on The Big Match Live (on ITV may I add), Ford Super Sunday and international tournaments like Italia 90. 10 Things is back this week with a (hopefully) comical lookat the numerous practices that I and many others will have experienced in the late 1980's and 1990's and that probably still occur on playgrounds up and down the country.

Can I just say, to those it isn't obvious to, I've totally made up the rule numbers (although, I'd imagine choosing teams would be rule number 1). Here's 10 Things I loved about playing football as a child.

Playing football 3 times (sometimes 4 or 5) a day
Commentators often wax lyrically about box to box midfielders with amazing 'engines', that seem to cover every blade of grass and look as if they've barely broken sweat. These guys are basically the guys that are still in the same sort of physical condition that they were in at the age of 11. I can remember getting the school early and playing football at 8.30 until the bell went to signal the start of the day; playing football during the early morning break and having a big game at lunch time (this would have gone on for around an hour). Sometimes additionally you'd play football during a Games or PE lesson (Games was so much better than PE wasn't it, PE was too technical) or even play after school for the school or down the park/on the streets with your mates. And all of this was done without energy drinks or steroids (take note Lance Armstrong)!

Stupid

Calling yourself one of the players you've seen on TV
This would normally happen during a World Cup when we'd get the chance to see a load of exotic foreign players that we'd never seen. This was of course long before the days of Sky and ESPN's wall to wall coverage of the other footballing leagues in Europe and the Champions League & UEFA Cup; and also long before English football had it's influx of headband wearing, shirt pulling, imaginary card waving, diving foreign imports, so players like Schillachi, Roberto Baggio, Caniggia, Batistuta, Romario and Bebeto were appreciated even more by us than their modern day counterparts. One person who wasn't was former Brazilian World Cup winning captain Dunga. I'm not sure how true this is but during a game in the 1994 World Cup the commentators made the mistake of telling everyone that Dunga meant 'Stupid' in Portuguese. From then on, once a lunchtime it was customary to proclaim yourself to be Romario for the hour and refer to one of your team mates as Dunga, much to the amusement of everyone else.

Playground Football Rule 1 - Choosing Teams
1.1 Teams must be chosen by two players who are assigned the role of 'Captain'.
1.1.1 Captaincy does not give a player any authority on the field of play, it is purely for administration purposes.
1.1.2 If there are two players who are a lot more talented than their other playground counterparts (these kids normally ended up having an unsuccessful trial at some professional team) they must automatically be designated captaincy on opposing sides for fear of a one sided game.
1.1.2.1 Two specialised goalkeepers that are willing to play in goal during the upcoming match can also be assigned the role of 'Captain'.
1.2 Both Captains take turns at choosing players for their side based on their impression of ability descending.
1.3 All non-Captains must group together in an orderly manner to enable both Captains to survey the players they have to choose from when picking teams.
1.3.1 At times where the Captains are having problems getting the non-Captains to assemble one of the Captains may shout words to the effect of, "The last one of you non-Captains to settle down and join the line/huddle of players available for selection is Gay/In love with [Person X]!"
1.3.1.1 Person X is deemed by popular opinion to be either the campest boy or 'ugliest' girl in school or the neighbourhood.
1.4  - Numbers: In some scenarios, for fear of prejudice each non-Captain is randomly assigned a number which the Captains must call out. The calling out of a non-Captain's number indicates selection for a Captain's team.
1.4.1 non-Selected players must not hint to the Captains at any time, the number that they or any other player have/has been assigned
1.4.2 Any suspicions of Rule 1.4.1 being broken must result in a reallocation of numbers.
1.4.3 Numbers can be reallocated to non-selected players if the Captains are unsure as to what numbers remain available for selection.
1.5 In scenarios other than that of the evocation of Rule 1.4, Captains are allowed to choose whomever they wish, all prejudices and personal grudges apply.
1.6 Selected players must leave the huddle and stand alongside their Captain. They are allowed to influence their Captain's future picks with the exception of when rule 1.4 is in force. When Rule 1.4 has been enforced, selected players must not hint to their Captain the numbers that have been allocated to to the more skill-full players. If there are any suspicions of this, Rule 1.4.2 must be evoked.
1.7 Once the game is underway, teams can be re-picked if
a) The match appears to be ridiculously one-sided.
b) A player of considerable physical strength decides so.
c) The player responsible for providing the ball either sheds tears alongside threatening to withdraw the ball from the field of play or can convince enough players that a 'Re-pick' is necessary.
1.8 - The Re-pick: Rules 1.1 to 1.6 are enforced during a 'Re-pick'.

Playground Football Rule 74.1 - The Imaginary Crossbar
74.1 During play with jumpers/blazers/bags used as goalposts the height of the Crossbar is deemed to be the highest point that the goalkeeper can reach while jumping with his arms stretched straight up in the air.
74.1.1 In order for the ball to be deemed 'Over' and out of bounds both teams must agree that it passed clear of the Crossbar.
74.1.2 For unsettle-able disputes Rule 85.1 may be evoked at the request of the defending team. 

Playground Football Rule 74.2 - The Imaginary Post
74.2 During play with jumpers/blazers/bags used as goalposts. Said jumpers/blazers/bags are considered to be 'Post'.
74.2.1 Any ball that is deemed to have passed over jumper/blazer/bag is to be considered 'Post' and out of bounds.
74.2.2 For unsettle-able disputes Rule 85.1 may be evoked at the request of the defending team.

Playground Football Rule 85.1 - Penalty or Goal?
85.1 In situations where the validity of a goal cannot be agreed by both sides the 'Penalty or Goal?' rule can be evoked.
85.1.1 'Penalty or Goal?' can only be suggested by:-
a) The defending team (as a form of appeasement).
b) The attacking team, when it is clear that their claim for a goal is valid but the defending team will not back down.
85.1.2 'Penalty or Goal?' is the only just and fair way to settle goalscoring disputes. If the disputed goal was not valid the Playground Gods will ensure that the attacking team squander their penalty. Conversely if a disputed goal should stand the Gods will make sure that the penalty is converted.

Wembley
Whoever came up with the idea of Wembley is a genius. Depending on what part of the country you went to school in Wembley may have sometimes been referred to as 'World Cup' (we had our own version of World Cup). The rules of Wembley are simple, in fact I don't remember ever being taught them, there's just a mutual understanding amongst all boys aged 7 to 15. You have one goal and one goalkeeper, who is also the designated match official and everyone is playing against each other. The game consists of a number of 'Rounds' where players must score a pre-determined number of goals (normally starting with 1 in the first round or so then increasing in the latter rounds), and stop their opponents from doing the same, to go through to the next round. Once a player is 'through to the next round' they are removed from the field of play and watch all of the remaining players trying to get through to the next round. The last player not to have scored the allocated amount of goals (sometimes it's 2 or 3 players depending on the time you have available or the number of people playing) is 'Out', and must sit and watch all of the remaining rounds. As soon as a round has ended all of the players who are through return to the field of play for the next round. Easy to follow?? Probably not when written on paper, but we all did.

Wembley with multiple numbers i.e. Doubles, Triples, I've even played Quadruples
Wembley doubles was a personal favourite of mine. Pretty much the same as the above but with team mates so you could be that little bit lazier.

World Cup
World Cup in some areas of London was just Wembley. I remember World Cup to be Wembley but with each person or double/triple/quadruple choosing a team that they were representing/pretending to be (this would normally happen during a World Cup) and then pretending to be individual players from said team/country. I loved a bit of World Cup doubles, always chose to be either Roberto Baggio or Gianluca Vialli.

Playground Football Rules 97.1, 97.1.2 and 97.1.3 - Penalties All Around and the ensuing melee
97.1 - Penalties All Around: During a game of Wembley (or World Cup) if the ball strikes one of the combatants hands a penalty can be awarded to all other players (often placing the offending player at risk of elimination).
97.1.1 The goalkeeper (with the help of players classified as either 'Through' or 'Eliminated'), designated official in all games of Wembley, is the only person who can adjudge whether the infringement is deliberate or not.
97.1.2 'Penalties All Around' must be signalled by the goalkeeper calling out, "Penalties All Around". Until this has been done the ball is still in play.
97.1.3 The order of penalty takers is determined by the following:-
a) The first penalty taker must shout out "First!" ("I'm first" is also acceptable) and be comfortably clutching the ball. Failure to hold the ball may give other players the right to claim the first penalty.
b) All other penalty positions must also be called  but do not require the player to be in possession of the ball when doing so.
97.1.4 Each player has a turn at taking one penalty and cannot be obstructed or physically/mentally hindered.
97.1.4.1 In cases where a player is obstructed and misses a retake may be ordered only if agreed by the goalkeeper.
97.1.5 In keeping with the spirit of the game of Wembley/World Cup the goalkeeper must, at the time of the last of the awarded penalties being taken, declare that 'Rebounds' are applicable.
97.1.6 - Rebounds: There are no 'Rebounds' available for any of the penalties taken in an instance of 'Penalties All Around' with the exception of the last penalty of the series. In cases where 'Rebounds' are not applicable the ball is deemed 'dead' immediately:-
a) After a goal is scored from the penalty.
b) After a penalty is saved.
c) After a penalty is missed.
In cases where rebounds are applicable the ball is 'live' if the penalty is not scored and the ball comes back into play.

...and a final note Re Provision of the ball (basically I've got more than 10 things), offsides, 'Next goal wins' and disputes.
-It is the prerogative of the individual responsible for providing the match ball to call a halt to proceedings at any point during play for reasons such as but not limited to:-
a) Unfair teams
b) Bad sportsmanship
c) A disagreement or physical altercation with another player
NB - This action may be remembered by all other players and used against said 'Ball Provider' in later life as a point of ridicule.
- Offsides do not exist, however players who frequently stand in an offside position may be derogatorily referred to as 'Goal Hangers'.
- In cases where play is being called to an abrupt halt i.e. the bell for registration/lessons, fading light etc, it is plausible to evoke the 'Next Goal Wins' rule regardless of the score. The winning goal stands.
- Disputes can be carried into registration or the next lesson at school but anything further than that and you're just a winging idiot!

I'm not gonna lie, I loved sitting here thinking about all the silly little rules we had when we played football as kids. I'd happily go back to being 10 years old if I could do this all again. In addition I'd like to campain for the 'Penalty or Goal?' rule to be introduced to Association Football; that would take away any need for goal line technology or those extra official that they have behind the goal. The footballing Gods would justly decide.

Erm... So...

I'm not really sure what I'm blogging about tonight I'm just going to ramble seen as I have no real theme or idea in my head. The Premier League started on Saturday, my summary of it is as follows. West Ham got off to a winning start. Aston Villa were terrible, and barely created anything all game. Kevin Nolan scored another 5 yard backpost tap in, if you've not noticed that that is all he does you need to. I say that's all he does, that's a lie, he does also argue with everything that moves. The three things I took note of from the game were, surprisingly, not related to the mediocre football I saw. The first was, Barry Bannan is bloody short! Simon Gillett short! Wikipedia says 5ft 7inches, absolutely no way!! I'm not having a bar of it, he's clearly entered that himself. You're not fooling us Barry! Secondly Aston Villa have a song much like West Ham that goes along the lines of:

"We're passing the ball!
We're passing the baaaaaaall!
Aston Villa
We're passing the ball!"

I'll assume from the above that the Villa fans, much like us at West Ham, are fed up of watching their side lump it diagonally to a big forward (swap Carlton Cole for Emile Heskey). When will these coaches learn? Hopefully Paul Lambert can improve things at Villa Park; based on what I saw, he needs to else Villa will be in trouble. The last of the things I noted was contrary to my comment regarding West Ham's usual sock colour in my post last week. I sat here and rubbished any colour accompanying Claret and Blue other than White. Only to discover at 3pm on Saturday when the two teams emerged from the tunnel, that this year West Ham's socks are in fact Claret. Herecy!!

These guys have got the little arms and  everything.  I don't believe that either are over 5ft 5in

In other Premiership news Van Persie-less Arsenal couldn't hit a barn door at home to Sunderland, Giroud had a perfect chance to score the winner on his debut and massively fluffed his lines. I swear I've seen this somewhere before? Manchester City and Chelsea both got off to winning starts, I was impressed by Aiden Azard's performance against Wigan, where he basically created both goals. I'm sure you're all reading this thinking, "Who the hell is Aiden Azard? Doesn't he mean Eden Hazard..." Well I've got news for you people, as with Azard's compatriot "Van-san Kompany", all commentators have now taken it upon themselves to give it the pretentious French pronunciation. Does this mean that if Christiano Ronaldo ever came back to the Premier League we'll have to start saying "Honaldo" in true Portuguese style?

Is he Irish? I thought he was Belgian?

City came from behind to beat Southampton, Aguero messed his knee up, thus potentially messing up my fantasy football chances and the champions were given a scare when the Saints staged a mid-2nd half comeback, which was kicked of by Ricky Lambert. The man is an absolute goal machine. Every season I say, "He won't get any thing year, he'll struggle with the step up to the division above..." and he proves me wrong (well he did last year, it's early days in the Premiership). Watch this space, he could be in for a good season.

Goal Machine

The two most successful teams in English football both got off to losing starts. When was the last time that happened (answers on a postcard)? For once I don't have a geeky stat accompanied with a joke about being socially awkward regarding that one. I'd genuinely like to know when the last time Liverpool and Manchester United both lost on the first day of the season (I might look that one up in the coming week, that'll make for a wild weekend, eh). Van Persie-ful Manchester United looked like they just got caught out on the day by a very impressive looking Everton side. Liverpool on the other hand, look shocking. Unfortunately (well fortunately for me, I don't like Liverpool) I think they're actually going to get worse this season, they seem to have steadily been getting worse over the last two decades and I don't think (based on their transfer activity during the summer) that Brendon Rodgers is going to turn things around. I suppose I could be wrong though Liverpool fans, I mean it's not like I predicted who'd win the Olympic football tournament...

Summer is over!

That's right people. It's set to be the hottest weekend of the year this weekend but summer is actually over. Why? Because the football season has started and as you probably know football is a winter sport. Last week we saw the beginning of the new season marked with the traditional curtain raiser the Charity Community Shield (when the hell did it become the 'Community Shield'? And what was so charitable about it in the past?) As with all football matches of a certain level these days, it was full of drama, you had a dud super signing scoring for once, a seemingly obligatory, red card and a late goal which spiced things up and produced the usual game of Snach between the goalkeeper and the attackers. Racist John Terry managed to keep his nose clean for the majority of the game and Tearaway Carlos Tevez produced the goods. Football is definitely back!

It was all going off at Villa Park

Before I start on the new season I feel I should mention  this summer's footballing events. We had a great tournament in the form of Euro 2012, where we discovered, Spain are as annoyingly good as they were 2/4 years ago, Germany still aren't quite ready, Roy Keane is very close to killing someone, England and Ireland are useless despite what FIFA or the tabloids over here think and I have no ability when it comes to predicting football results (as if France were ever going to win it). Or do I? See on top of Euro 2012 we had an Olympic football tournament that, for once, contained the home nations; and as a result got far more coverage over here than recent tournaments. I correctly (that's right, CORRECTLY) predicted in April, with some outside assistance, that Mexico were going to win the tournament but as with all of the few wagers that I make that come true, I lost my nerve when it came to placing my bet and only placed £1. That's right! One measly English (or British) Pound, at 10-1. For anyone who doesn't understand gambling, that means I won ten times my original stake (£10), plus my stake back (£1). For all of about 5 minutes, before I'd  checked my Bet365 account, I managed to convince myself that back in April I'd grown some gambling testicles and places a £10 bet, but no! I saved that for my Nostradamus like Euro 2012 soothsayings. Yes that's right, I'll have £10 on France, a team that until this year hadn't won a game at a major tournament without Michel Platini or Zinedine Zidane playing, since the 1958 World Cup (geek) but I'll only put a £1 on the team that came 3rd in the last Under 20 World Cup and won the last Under 17 version, IN AN UNDERAGE TOURNAMENT! You can probably sense, at present I'm As sick as a Parrot (do Parrots tend to suffer from sickness more than other animals/birds? Maybe they're just hypochondriacs...? I spelt that right the first time! Booooom!). Finally I must mention, England are up to 3rd in the FIFA world rankings, what the...? If anything I'd say we've got weaker since the World Cup what with the likes of Lampard and Gerrard staring to age. And we've hardly had better results in tournaments. Now I've not looked at who are above us in the rankings but I'm assuming that Spain are (obviously, everybody's still bumming them), then you have a host of teams that could rightly stake a claim to being above us. There's Uruguay, current Copa America champions and 3rd place finishers at the last World Cup. Unfortunately it doesn't matter how much everyone hates Luis Suarez the stats put them above us. Holland, who may have had a distasterous European World Cup (still saying it) but finished 2nd in the last World Cup. Germany, who have pretty much been awesome for the last four years (to be fair they're always awesome, it's just that now everyone likes them). They were 4th in the last World Cup (and knocked us out along the way), and got to the Semis of the European World Cup (AND were runners up in 2008). And Italy, who were runners up in the most recent European World Cup and dumped us out (while thoroughly outclassing us for 120 minutes). In my mind, either Trevor Brooking has got some serious dirt on Sepp Blatter, who I discovered this week has a Twitter account? Who wants to follow him "Just picked up some money from an Arabic friend... #Qatar2022 #BackTheBid". I'm sure it's better than that I'm just not following him; or Blatter feels so bad about awarding the 2022 World Cup to Qatar (the games better be on a decent times in the day) that he feels the need to compensate unlucky bidders like England.

I knew they'd do it!

Back to the new season, West Ham kick off with a home game against Aston Villa tomorrow, the battle of claret and blue. I always resent the fact that people who don't follow football much mistake West Ham for Villa. They don't have white socks! What kind of crazy man would design and claret and blue kit with claret or blue socks?!? It's madness I tell ya! As with our next two fixtures and going back to a post I did a few weeks ago, tomorrow's game is massively impinging on a social event that I need to attend tomorrow. I'll be missing our home clashes next  month with Sunderland and Fulham due to social events. Can people please start checking the football league calendar!!

There's no escaping him!

With a new season come things like fantasy football leagues too. Now I enjoy a good fantasy football league but a couple of things annoy me. The first is that you never get enough money, I'm always left scouring all the Wigan defenders or midfielders for a player that will get enough games to get points but not too many games, cos you know those Wigan players will end up with a negative score. Is Alcaraz any good this year? Who the hell is Alcaraz anyway? Isn't that an old prison in America? The second thing that grinds my gears is that they take so much maintenance. Why do I have to name a captain? And a reserve goalkeeper? Just let me choose 11 players and give me the option to change say three of them in January. This isn't actually the Premier League! Next they'll be asking us to hold virtual training sessions during the week...

The last thing I wanted to say with regards to the new season is, what the hell is the Capital Once Cup?!? And why did it start last Saturday? The League Cup is for weekday evenings only (except the final and maybe one of the semis). And Capital One?!? I was just getting used to Carling and quite frankly would rather we called it the Littlewoods or Rumbleows Cup, those were the days. When Forest were the only team that ever won it! Now Liverpool are the new Forest!

Ok so everybody enjoy the new season, can we please stop talking about Van Persie going to Manchester United, it's done now. The way some Arsenal fans have been carrying on, you think he killed a member of their family. And the way some Sp*rs fans have been carrying on... well they're acting the same way they always do, first to goad and setting themselves up for egg on their faces. And finally yes the Premiership is back but it IS NOT better than the World Cup or European World Cup! Fact!

See you later...

How important is Sunday League Football?

Couldn't find a pic from our games. Must be all copyrighted by Sky or something?

I ask the question because I recently quit my Sunday League team after some lengthy "discussions" regarding my commitment to the side due to my lack of willingness to continue playing and training throughout June, when the season was well and truly over and pre-season was a good 5 or 6 weeks away. Obviously I'm aggrieved by the questioning of my dedication to the team but the aim of this post isn't to vent. It's more to poke fun at the notion that I, a man of 31 with with a full time job in the city, bills to pay, family to see, should definitely prioritise the Waltham Mercury 4th division over all of that. At this point I'd like to flag,  for those of you that aren't as schooled in Sunday morning football in South Hertfordshire/North East London, there is a Premier division meaning that my team plays, or should I say played, we finished 3rd last year (SAY WE ARE GOING UP! SAY WE ARE GOING UP...!  *and repeat*), in the fifth tier of the South Hertfordshire/North East London footballing pyramid. Unfortunately Pythagoras himself couldn't work out what tier of the actual footballing pyramid the Waltham Mercury 4th division is (I'm aware that Pythagoras was all about angles and not pyramids). And 3rd place in that division is not to be sniffed at, we finished well above the likes of Albany Athletic & The Broxbourne Badgers and it took two very strong sides in the form of AFC Southgate and Broxbourne Athletic (who I'm assuming are bitter rivals of the Broxbourne Badgers, I bet the Hertfordshire police are on standby every time they face each other) to finish above us. I'm not even sure why I'm explaining this to you all, you'll have probably caught our games on Sky Sports, or at least the highlights on Sky Sports news on a Monday morning with the goals from the other top leagues in Europe. You'll all also know that we had a really bad run with injuries and absences last year which probably cost us in terms of winning the league, one of our strikers got arrested the night before a key game early in the season, our right back twisted his ankle running on the tarmac to the side of the pitch retrieving the ball after it had gone out of bounds from a stray cross and even I turned my ankle in the rabbit holes behind the goal in the warm-up before a crucial promotion six pointer. Things could have been soooooo different...

So I am now issuing a "come get me" plea to any Premiership teams out there. My wage demands are pretty low, I mean I was paying £15 a month plus a £50 signing on fee at my last club so I'd be willing to go as low as say £20 a week. I know! I know! How can anybody command such a wage just for kicking a ball? I'm afraid that's the nature of the beast that we football fans have created. Can I also point out to any potential Premier League suitors out there that I am not a troublemaker, honest! I'm not gonna do a Pierre van Hoijdonk and go on strike and I'm no Jermaine Pennant. All that I ask is that I'm only required to play/train during the football season and pre-season and that in training drills don't consist of blasting the ball at the goal from 5-10 yards out under no pressure with me being expected to save everything (seems to be a training drill not picked up by any professional teams for some reason??).

In all seriousness, I wish my former team the best of luck, they're a great bunch of guys and I reckon they'll be more that capable of holding their own in the 3rd division. I poke fun purely because that's what I do!

In other news, the Olympic football tournament is drawing to a close. I'm watching the Brazil v South Korea semi-final as we speak, Brazil are 1-0 up and there was a finger point to the sky celebration when they scored so I'm happy. GB are out! I missed the whole of the actual game but managed to see the penalty shootout. I'm starting to actually believe my flatmate's theory that left footers are less likely to score in a shootout. He correctly predicted Sturridge's miss on Saturday and Cole's in England's European World Cup (yep I'm still saying it) defeat to Italy. So is there something in his theory? Julian Dicks would probably disagree. Mexico are into the final, I bet on them to win the whole thing about 3 or 4 months ago, maybe one of my predictions (although it was off the back of a tip) will finally come true.

The final thing I want to say is, to all you smartphone users who are football fans you need to download New Star Soccer! This game is currently dominating my life (well my commuting life), I can't stop playing it. I have nothing funny to say about it other than, my girlfriend is definitely going to get sick of me playing it sometime soon. Oh and check out some of my favourite New Star Soccer headlines, my character is quite the headline maker. Here are some of the best ones I've had or seen on Twitter...

I'm off to send my CV to West Ham...

Football at the Olympics?!?

I've basically heard that phrase as much as But England aren't even playing in the last year upon telling anyone who doesn't watch much sport that I was going to Team GB's game on Sunday. For some reason people only associate running and jumping a la Daley Thompson with the Olympics and the concept of a football tournament is alien to them. Personally being the international football freak (or saddo) that I am, I've managed to follow the football tournament at every Olympics since Atlanta in 1996.

See, those1st two stars are for 1924 and 1928

As mentioned, this year I even managed to break my duck with regards to attending a major international football tournament. Some of you may question whether the Olympic football tournament can be classed as a major competition; as far as I'm concerned, if Uruguay are counting it, so am I (see 1924 and 1928)!! I went all statto geek on you all there didn't I?!? I apologise.

Deffo the first person I ever saw do the sky point

I'm currently loving the football, both Men's and Women's. I'm concious that every time I talk about the women's competition I sound a bit patronising, I swear I don't mean it ladies. Oh god that sounds patronising too and a bit cheesy in a weasely guy who thinks he's a bit of a Ladies Man kinda way... I swear I don;t think I'm a Ladies Man and I genuinely like Women's football. One of the things I love is that even the Brazilian ladies team have the one word names like Martha and Francile and they do that finger pointing to the sky thing, that Adriano invented, when they score like any true Brazilian should. If I was Brazilian my name would just be "Travis" rather than "Travis Newton" and I'd most definitely point to the sky when I scored, even if I wasn't that religious, just to look the part. I wouldn't want people to question my place in the Seleção (that's right check me and my Portuguse out, sign me up Mano Menez) due to my lack of finger pointing. I might even do little samba dance with a couple of other team mates just to convince everyone.

Speaking of celebrations, I loved the Senegalese one against Uruguay. This is a bit of a generalisation but you can always count on the African nations for a strange choreographed  routine I love it. The European World Cup in June was missing this (for obvious reasons), I think UEFA should invite one African team just for their celebrations. For anyone thinking that I've just made an outrageous statement I'd like to point out that CONMEBOL invite countries from outside of South America to the Copa America (although not for their celebratory dance routines). Went a bit geeky again there, didn't I? Hands up if you've never even heard of CONMEBOL (I'm imagining a load of hands going up in front of laptops and PCs etc). For those that aren't sure, their the South American equivalent of UEFA, I swear that's the last geely fact I'll write in this post.

I should probably speak about the actual football that has been happening, here's a brief summary. GB's Men's and Women's teams have both topped their groups and look ok, especially the ladies (oh god I'm doing it again aren't I...) I have placed a bet on the Mexicans to win the Men's competition which means, despite topping their group, they are due to crash out any day now (see my European World Cup Predictions). Neymar has looked ok but this was against some pretty average opposition, he did lay on a goal for Oscar (great name) in stoppage time against the Belarussians. Finally, Daniel Sturridge is greedier than a fat dude with a Greggs voucher; at one point Scot Sinclair and the rest of Wembley could have killed him on Sunday when he opted to run into trouble rather than lay the ball into Sinclair. I genuinely don't think I've ever seen a greedier professional player.

I'm off to bed now. I promise I'll try and post again very soon. Hopefully GB will do well and we'll enter the football again in Rio 2016. I've loved the coverage it has got this year.