Ready to go...

I came up with the name because it reminds me of that naff 90s song, "Yeah I'm standing on the rooftop shouting out ...!"

Am I actually ready to go? It's been 4 weeks since the World Cup finished. I'm kinda still grieving, and I'm enjoying the test cricket (even if the Indian batsmen aren't).

Pretty certain neither of them had heard of Alan Pardew until 5 minutes before this picture 

I suppose I am a little excited. I watched a bit of Sheffield United v Swansea the other day, that's surely an indication of New Season Excitement. West Ham have signed some players, it looks like we're actually attempting to strengthen our squad and the Porn Barons are putting their hands in their pockets. All good right...? Hmmmm For me the jury is still out, I've been burnt too many times to let myself believe that West Ham are actually turning themselves into a decent outfit. I mean we're probably the only team in the World who could pull off a deadline day coup of signing a young Carlos Tevez and Javier Mascherano, only to end up fighting a relegation battle, almost getting a points deduction and scraping safety on the last day of the season.

As for the rest of the football, Arsenal look interesting because I have no idea whether they're still going to be a joke or whether Emery is actually going to give them a some backbone. Liverpool might be decent, which doesn't scare me as much as it should; a sign of how little a threat they've posed to trophy engravers over the last few years. City will probably just run away with it again.

In the real leagues, which don't start until next week, Cristiano Ronaldo is at Juve! This is exciting, but also scary. The rest of the league is already scared of Juve and has massive inferiority complex. I suppose we can just call this 8 in a row already...

I say all the real leagues (aka the ones I'm interested in) start next week  but France actually kick off this weekend too. How will Buffon get on on Sunday evening? I think they're playing Caen, so he'll probably have time to spark up a cigarette, grab coffee & panatone and read a copy of Gazetta della Sport, James Richardson style, and still keep a clean sheet.

So we're back to me trying to sneak football matches in as we're getting the kids read for bed, and cooking with the tablet next to me. Following games on LiveScore because we've got some sort of Sunday lunch arranged which means I miss the Derby d'Italia. Football is back, AND IT'S LIVE (God I f*cking hate it when Martin Tyler does that, mate the Premier League isn't that amazing)!

Game 64

Game 64 of 64 is upon us. It's been an odd World Cup full of shocks; I for one never envisaged the Final being contested by these two sides. By 7pm UK time we will have new World Champions.

We've seen rampant hosts routing inept looking Saudis, while the leaders of the two nations sat straddled either side of Gianni Infantino fist bumping over every goal.

The Cristiano Ronaldo Show, in one of the most epic group stage clashes in recent memory.

VAR! Penalties awarded because of VAR. Penalties not awarded because of VAR. Plenty of penalties, well in the beginning anyway.

The holders rocked and sent home early for the 3rd tournament in a row. Surely an indication of the difference 4 years make in the football world, both tactically and physically.

Brazil doing a Brazil. Barring that little blip at the turn of the century  they have a habit of turning up at World Cups, looking like one of the front runners then somehow heading home before the Semi Finals come around. Ahhhhh Braaaaaasiw!

England reborn! Or were they? Panama may well be one of the worst sides I remember seeing at the World Cup and Tunisia weren't much cop either. Sweden made the Quarter Finals playing some pretty uninspiring stuff. And we basically came a cropper upon sight of the first half decent opponent. An improved side, or improved PR mixed with some good fortune?

Argentina showing that Messi can't do it on a wet Wednesday night in Sochi. Or at least he can't with absolutely no balance to the side that he plays in. Maradona enjoyed himself though!

Peru, Colombia and Mexico all dazzling playing high tempo football. But for all of the excitement and aesthetics none of them reached the Quarter Finals.

Africa's showing was disappointing. Salah was injured, rushed back and then unable to halt the tide of Russians sweeping over the Egyptians. Was it a case of, like Messi, one man can't polish a turd or drag a side with a number of clear deficiencies through to the later stages of a tournament? Not in 2018 anyway. In our global game where there are no mugs or easy games, except Panama. Senegal and Nigeria impressed at times. Musa won the most impressive foot race I've ever seen against an Icelandic, but they both went home early. Tunisia didn't provide much either, not the best tournament for Africa.

The knockout stages typical of every tournament I've seen with the exception of 1994. Too many penalty shoot outs, not many games that swung both ways, and not many goals in Extra Time. Kasper Schmeichel performed last minute heroics in vein; Akinfeev actually did something positive of note for once, enabling Russia to significantly exceed expectations; and we finally got that penalty shoot out monkey of our backs (only just) thanks to a piece of brilliance from Jordan Pickford.

Belgium and France provided us with two games where momentum swung in the knockout stages. Mbappe was too quick for Argentina and Japan fell apart upon the introduction of Felliani and Chadli.

The two Francophones were probably the best two teams at the this year's tournament. Hazard came to the party, Lukaku bullied on the "flat tracks" of the 1st round and De Bruyne had his moments, including one that sent Brazil home. Pogba actually looked like the Pogba that Juventus sold to Man United, causing everyone to lose a little more faith in Mourinho; and Mbappe stirred memories of a young Ronaldo (that's the real Ronaldo by the way).

Finally we have Croatia. Making the most of what quite possibly will be the last tournament where both Rakatic and Modric will be able to play together as a force. Rebic and Peresic have terrorised full backs (and Willy Caballero, what a howler); Lovren has looked OK at times, the 1st half against England not being one of those times; and Vida has looked like some kind of Sci-Fi villain who can shoot laser beams from his eyes.

Farewell Russia 2018! It's been a breathtaking month of rushing home from work (I almost said "Russian" as a poor joke), watching games while putting the kids to bed and "Football Coming Home". God knows what Qatar 2022 will be like with it scheduled to start the day before my 42nd birthday, and I'm still not convinced that the 48 team format in 2026 will work. It may well be the case that this is the last proper World Cup as we know it.

PS Bit disappointed with ITVs intro this year, massive step down from "Braaaaaasiw Braaaaaasiw!" and "Sing Sing Africa", but in my opinion ITV have trumped BBC and will be getting my attention for the Final!

Good Start!

We're underway!

The day I dreamt of for the last 23 months has come and gone, and we're 3 days into a World Cup!

There's been drama. And goals, quite a few late ones too (no 0-0s so far). We've seen half of this year's qualifiers and I've already seen enough to have formed, or even solidified, some prejudices.

The opening game was a big surprise, World Cup openers tend to be fairly lean on goals. I think the scoreline was more of an indication of how terrible the Saudis are than the Russians are good. The ITV commentator was doing my head in a bit when he kept referring to the game as "Opening Night". Give it a rest, you're not adding to the drama, you don't need to!

Also ITV's (and BBC's too) opening credits were a bit of a disappointment. Yes even little things like that are important to me! After Sing Sing Africa and Braaaaaasiw Braaaaaasiw I had high hopes. For ITV that is, despite having the best commentary team and overall presentation, I'm always disappointed with BBC's opening credits (other than the Euro 2004 Basement Jaxx ones).

Spain and Portugal served up the best World Cup match I've seen in literally decades. You have to go back to the summer of 94 and clashes between Brazil & Holland, Argentina & Romania and Italy & Spain to find as entertaining spectacles in my eyes.

France and Argentina have both put in performances that reinforced my opinion that they are massively overhyped, in terms of the output that each team produces. A lot of people, who obviously haven't seen them in qualifying, look at the squads and assume that they'll both sweep all before them. This is not going to happen, mark my words! Argentina are woefully imbalanced and have been for about a decade; and France lack the cohesion to beat anyone half decent or even beat dross like Australia convincingly.

Don't even get me started on Nigeria. I didn't see their friendly with England, I was busy with my wife who was in the middle of giving birth to our twins (yeah they're making the football watching challenging); but the post match word was that Nigeria looked decent in the second half. Before tonight's game with Croatia there was talk of them being on the up. This is a lie! For a start they've got John Obi Mikel playing with the number 10 on his back. Forget whether he's actually playing as their creative player, surely they somebody else half decent who would've wanted that number? What about Moses? For me it's nearly as bad as Asamoah Gyan wearing number 3 and not playing anywhere near Leftback.

Finally there's Peru! Ahhhhh Peru I love you! Forget the red sash, I mean their's is a great kit, but look at the football. They remind me of Colombia and Chile from the last World Cup. Energetic, open and slightly naive. I'm afraid today's defeat to Denmark may have put them in an impossible position in terms of qualification from the group. Saying that they do have to play the same France side I've just rubbished!

Bring on Father's Day, which is essentially Brazil and Germany! I can't wait!

Diego Armando Maradona and the World Cup - 10 Things

He's my second favourite player of all time just ahead of Alessandro Del Piero and behind the Ronaldo (not that Portuguese guy). It's pretty impossible not synonamise Diego Maradona with the World Cup and Argentina's performances in the competition; whether it be from the perspective of a prodigious youngster not taken to the tournament, an influential captain dragging them through, or a past it lunatic ranting at another failed campaign. In a World Cup context we've been aware of Maradona's presence for 40 years now.

"So what are the ten things you remember of Maradona from the World Cup Travis?" I hear you ask. Well...

1. Squaring up to the whole Belgian defence in 1982
It's since been debunked as a trick of the camera. If you've not seen it before, this is basically an image of Maradona, ball at his feet, with 6 Belgians (in that wonderful Belgium 1982 kit) in his way, poised to go on another one of those runs.

What's actually happened is that the ball has dropped to his feet from a free kick on the edge of the box, hence everyone is behind the ball. I'm not even sure anything came of that particular situation, but because of his heroics 4 years later we've created this fantasy of him running through the scared Belgians. The reality is that Maradona and Argentina were thoroughly disappointing both in that game and in Spain in 1982.

2. Kung-fu kicking that Brazilian dude
As said in memory number 1, Maradona and Argentina were disappointing in 1982, Messi-like if you will ("shots fired"). After creeping out of their first round group they found themselves in a second group with perennial World Cup powerhouses Brazil and Italy.

Needless to say an Argentina pre the mystique created in 1986 were no match for either and Maradona was singled out for some "Special" treatment by both sides. Once the defending champions were 3-0 down and already eliminated from the tournament Maradona decided to exact his revenge in the only way he knew how...

3. That ball for Caniggia against Brazil
By 1990 Maradona was a fully bona-fide World Cup legend but, unfortunately for him, Argentina were a spent force. They would go on to reach the final under his steam, with Maradona's highlight of the tournament being a move where he rolled back the years showing the strength to hold off two Brazilian defenders, while threading the most irresistible through ball for Cannigia to run on to and round Taffarel. Ouuff!!

4. The terrible penalty against Yugoslavia
By 1990 the sheen was starting to fade on our legend. Sure he was still capable of producing moments like that ball against Brazil, but Maradona was carrying a bit of weight and was most certainly not capable of performing the same heroics as he'd done 4 years earlier in the Mexican heat. If ever there was evidence of his mortality it would be his pitiful penalty in the shootout with Yugoslavia. It's almost as if he thought he'd score just because he was "Maradona". Luckily Goyacachea was on hand to bail him out with a string of saves that set up a semifinal showdown with the hosts Italy.

5. Trying to turn Naples against Italy
It was a bold move! But nothing was considered too bold by Diego.

"Neapolitans you shouldn’t forget that in Italy they do not consider you to be Italians. The country comes and asks for your support for just one day of the year, and for the other 364 they’ll call you Africans."

It almost worked, according to some sources there were pockets of the crowd who weren't as hostile to their Argentinian visitors. Ultimately the battle was won anyway, Italy conceded their first goal of the tournament and subsequently lost the penalty shootout at the end of the game, this time Maradona taking his spot kick a little more seriously.

6. That goal against Greece
I remember rushing home from school to see this one and I wasn't disappointed. Argentina put Greece to the sword with Batistuta scoring a hattrick. But Diego stole the show with a thunderous left foot drive into the top corner, followed by that celebration where he looked possessed. There was still life left in the old dog!

7. His performance against Nigeria
I feel like Maradona doesn't get much credit for this performance, maybe that's because he subsequently failed a drug test at the end of the game. But his influence on the team, now aged 33, should not be downplayed. Especially in the group match against Nigeria. Argentina found themselves a goal down against an exciting attacking side that would beat them 2 years later on the way to winning the Olympics.

Then up steps Diego. First he's involved in an inventive free kick that the Nigerian goalkeeper spills enabling the equaliser. Then he plays a perfectly weighted quick free kick into the path of his old pal Caniggia to set up the winner. While it was then discovered that he'd failed a drugs test, it can be argued no performance enhancing drug can help you have that awareness or deft of touch to be able to play that killer ball for Caniggia, so this is going down as another display of genius for me.

8. Sitting in the stands like a spectre hanging over the modern day team
In my opinion Argentina have never gotten over Maradona leaving the side. Its no coincidence that they haven't won a major international competition since 1993 i.e. In the post-Maradona era. There's the whole "New Maradona" thing but I also think that the very fact that he can often be found somewhere in the ground during modern day Argentina World Cup matches (even in the dugout for a brief unsuccessful spell) has a negative effect on the team.

While he is quick to praise and celebrate, I can never forget the camera panning to him as he did that weird thing with his hands after that goal against Serbia (and Montenegro?) in 2006, Diego always has to chuck in his two cents when things aren't going so well. I'm sure we'll see him again this year.

1986
Right I've purposely left this bit, the best bit, for the end. Mexico 86 is Diego Maradona! It's where the legend is born. Where he cemented his place as the best ever, in my opinion (and many others).

9. Mexico 86 outside of the England game
Before we get into that game I think a point needs to be made of his other performances on, and off, the field in this tournament. In the group phase Maradona shows glimpses of what is to come in the game against South Korea; as do the Koreans who kick lumps out of him at every opportunity.

Against Belgium, probably still on a high from the England Quarter Final, he scores two great goals, one another mazy solo dribble with an explosive finish.

It's always said that Maradona was quiet in the final, as the West Germans had deployed Matthäus to man mark him for the whole game. But he still gets enough time and space to play the perfectly weighted through ball that enables Burochaga to score the match winning goal. So not that quiet then.

Aside from all this though. One of my favourite clips of Maradona in 1986 isn't actually of him playing football. As I said earlier Mexico 86 was his tournament both on and off the field. And we get to see how much of a bond he has with his team mates, as their captain too, when Maradona leads the dressing rooms in a rendition of...

"Argentina's going to be Champions! 
We dedicate this to you all, even the f***ing whores who gave birth to you."

An adapted song from the terraces. Aimed at the journalists back home who had slammed the team after an indifferent qualification campaign.

Expletives aside, I've always pointed to this clip as one of the fundamental things that separates Diego from Lionel Messi, who is as technically gifted as Maradona, but is often described as aloof and out of touch with the people of Argentina. In my opinion as a captain you win with the team, lose with the team and sing with it!

10. England
This is probably the first thing that sprang to mind when you read the title of this blog post. Maradona is both famous and infamous for the role he played in the Quarter Final against England.

If you've been living under a rock, or aren't English (and have been living behind a rock) you may not have heard about Maradona's contraversial Hand Of God goal, which often leads us in England to dismiss him as a cheat and gloss over his achievements when considering him up against the other greats in the history of the game.

Here's the thing though we, well not you and I, Terry Fenwick (unless Terry Fenwick is reading this, in that case you) spent the whole game kicking Maradona up in the air every time he got a sniff of the ball. We were no angels.

Also even the move for the illegal goal was brilliant. There's a little one two between Maradona and a team mate and then the ball is ricocheted up into the box and even then Diego has no right to win the ball. Even with his hand. Or with his hand close to his head, thus giving the impression he'd actually headed the ball in. Where was Shilton?

OK so you're not buying that because you're too hurt to forgive him even after 32 years, but you have to accept that the second goal is testament to the man's genius. Maradona spins away from Hoddle deep in his own half and then 20 seconds later he's rolled the ball in after going round Shilton. The goal gives me goosebumps every time I see it. It's just outstanding!

For me Maradona will always be a devisive character, a true example of a flawed genius. Whether you remember him for being the size of a house until he got his stomach stapled, hosting bizarre chat shows, ball juggling warm-ups, being led away to that infamous drugs test holding the nurse's hand (?!?) or being that kid in the grainy black and white footage scoring goals for Argentinos Junios against fully grown adults, it cannot be denied that he has made a lasting (and generally positive) impression on the World Cup.

Thanks Diego, I understand you!

ANNOUNCE! Part II - "It was better in my day" - The changing face of the FIFA World Cup

I'd kind of thought about doing something like this for a while, then came yesterday's announcement of the England squad.

Quite often I hark back to a simpler time, either on here or on twitter (*cough* @ntrav99), when football was less commercially savy. When games kicked off at 3pm on a Saturday. When drawn matches went to replays and managers tried to win every competition that they were in; and the main prize wasn't qualifying for a competition that you have no hope of winning, just because of what it did to your bank balance. A time when we rarely knew who owned clubs let alone, who was heading up their "Commercial Strategy"; when the only sponsor that could be seen was the one across the team's chest (who the f*ck sponsors a training kit?!) and Barcelona didn't even have one!

I'm not the only person who has these nostalgic views (I think all the above is bad by the way), in my quest for World Cup related material in the run up to this year's tournament, the irony being that most of this stuff wouldn't have been around back in the day when things were "better", I've heard many a well respected journalist refer to an age where we went into tournaments not knowing any of the players. Being surprised when that Hagi that you'd heard of, but never seen beyond a 20 second clip of him in qualifying, actually turned out to be the real deal.

For me it's kind of a phenomenon that is at odds with itself. I love the fact that nowadays there are so many media sources where I can read about a watch previous World Cup tournaments, but then I do think that life, or should I say the tournament, was probably more interesting and definitely more innocent when you had next to nothing going into it. In the past the World Cup created it's own interest, it didn't need to be slick or well presented to thrive. There was no goal music in the stadium or television cameras that spiral zoomed into the centre circle seconds before kick off.

I suppose there needs to be a balance in terms of the polish. There must be some. I definitely don't want completely to go back in the direction of the early tournaments in terms of presentation. You had 1950, which could have actually been held in 1949 (what?) and consisted of a number of lop sided groups, some with as few as two teams, others with a full compliment of four. You've also got 1954 where the teams didn't even all play eachother in the group phase? The 2 seeds played the 2 "Minows" and that was it.

We also have the 1974, 78 & 82 where FIFA decided to do away with a knock out phase and have a 2nd round of group games?! Although I suppose it meant no penalty shootouts (except for France v Germany in 82). It says a lot about how much FIFA have got their sh*t in order that the current format of the tournament is the longest used by a mile. That of course was until FIFA went too far again and, in the pursuit of more votes from the Football Associations and money from the sponsors that would both benefit from more teams being in the tournament, decided that we would see an expansion to 48 teams in 2026.

It's not just FIFA that are at it. What the hell was that England squad announcement video yesterday? At first I thought, "Hmmmm, this is quite cool and different..." but then it turned into, "What's wrong with a good old fashioned list submitted to the press, which can then be read out?" It just feels like everyone is trying to "out-market" eachother.

I think what I'm saying is that I'd like the World Cup to be on a loop of 1986 to 94; with that 24 team format that we're now using for the European Championship (see I resisted the urge to call it the "European World Cup")! Can we do that...?

You Come At The Kings, You Best Not Miss...

You'd think that this would be the case with the reigning World Champions, but in most cases World Title defences go out with a damp squib. In fact only two sides have successfully defended the World Cup and only one other has made the final.

So what has happened when people have Come At The Kings?

Well 1934 wasn't a great start! You've got to at least turn up if you want to defend the title. I can understand the South Americans not turning up in 38 when the tournament was held in Europe again but Uruguay should really have at least tried to go to Italy!

Their argument was that the Europeans had stayed away in 1930 so they were going to do the same, but the Belgians, Romanians, French and Yugoslavs had made that journey. The US travelled across the Atlantic to get pumped 7-1 by the hosts in a one off Knockout game! "Thanks for coming! Close the door on your way out...!" That's actually not 100% accurate. The Americans actually played Mexico in a one off qualifier in Rome  days before the tournament. So they at least played two games (unlike the poor Mexicans), even if they were sent home early in no uncertain terms. Poor form Uruguay!

1938 is one of the two occasions where the holders actually showed their supremacy. The Italians came through another straight knockout tournament in Europe. You can bet your life no Uruguayans went and got their passports renewed in preperation, same went for Argentina. They were outraged that the tournament hadn't gone back to South America. Of course Brazil were there, haplessly conspiring to ruin their chances of winning the things; resting the tournament's star player in the Semi Final at a time that there were no substitutes.

Any chance of the Italians coming out fighting in 1950 were hampered by two things. War (What's it good for? Absolutely nothing! Say it again...)*, which denied Argentina the right to host the tournament in 1942, not sure they'd have been up for the boat trip anyway considering general aversion to crossing the Atlantic back then. What's wrong with you guys?! Forget the 6 week journey, it's a World Cup! You can be a part of history! Think Barry Davies, Mexico 86, They think it's all over and all that...!

The second factor being the Superga Air Crash, which killed Il Grande Torino, the legendary Torino side who one back to back titles for 5 years straight; and made up the majority of the Italian national team. As a result of the tragedy, the reigning champs, who became the first to actually bother coming to the other side of the world to defend the World Cup, travelled by boat (Dennis Bergkamp style) while the rest of the competitors flew. And were knackered and relatively unfit by the time they arrived in Braaaaaasiw.

1954 saw the first proper attempt at a defence of the title from the Champs. I say this because by that point everybody had started to get the World Cup bug, I mean we were still a few years away from Barry Davies and BBC goal of the Tournament competitions set to naff (but nostalgically warming) soundtracks and graphics, but England were playing! And people were flying and resultantly prepared to cross the Atlantic.

Uruguay, the other half of the duopoly that dominated the World Cup when it came to actually winning the trophy (and not resting your best player in the Semi, declaring yourselves Champions prematurely or annexing your neighbours and trying to ride their coat tails or just not turning up because you think it's all beneath you), made it to the Quarter Finals dispatching of us along the way.

The only real thing to note from their title defence is their ill tempered defeat, later dubbed "The Battle of Bern" in which they were eliminated by the team considered the best in the World at the time, eventual losing finalists Hungary. Apparently tempers boiled over so much that a brawl kicked off in the tunnel and the changing rooms after the match, with the police having to step in.

I actually don't know much of what happened to the Germans in 1958. If memory serves me correctly they came 4th and Juste Fontaine scored 73 goals against them in the playoff (may have been 4). West Germany became the first team other than Uruguay and Italy to win the World Cup when they beat the Hungarians in the rain in Switzerland four years earlier. They couldn't repeat the feat in Sweden  probably partly down to the fact that they hadn't become the fearsome footballing nation that we are all familiar with nowadays (obviously there were no penalties back then either).

In Chile in 1962, one of the most seemingly mundane World Cups in my opinion (obviously after Italia 90, nothing was as drab as the penalty shoot out fest that was Italia 90), Braaaaaasiw unremarkably became the second, and last, team to successfully defend their title. And did it without Pele, one of the many reasons why I think Maradona was better (but that's for another day). Instead they had the goat sh*gging, mother in law killing, alcoholic, genius that was Garrincha to thank.

By 1966 Garrincha was on the decline and Pele had bottled it on the big stage again! I jest (again). As a result the Braaaaaasiwians (that's probably what Roy Hodgson actually calls them) were unceremoniously dumped out of the competition in the first round.

In the technicolor Mexican sun it was our turn to defend the trophy. And we did so without any hiccups, hence we now have two stars above our badge... If only!

What actually happened was our Captain got arrested for jewellery theft and our striker was carried off of an aeroplane on suspicion of being blind drunk on the eve of the tournament. Then our manager offended the locals, our best goalkeeper got food poisoning and his replacement had a howler a quarter final where we surrendered a 2 goal lead and were knocked out. Pretty successful campaign if you ask me!

If you think that was bad, Braaaaaasiw went from being that famous, "Here comes Carlos Alberto on the right...!" team in 1970 to a replica of Billy Bremner's Leeds side of the 70s, four years later in West Germany. I suppose they did still field a slightly overweight looking Rivelinho, but as you can imagine it wasn't the same. The mantle of "Entertainers" was passed on to Johan Cruyff's Dutch side.

In Argentina West Germany were apparently shockingly bad. Although they still made the second group stage, OBVIOUSLY. A bad German side is the equivalent of a good every other nation, while unspectacular it wasn't the worst title defence ever.

Argentina also disappointed four years later in Spain, despite having a young Diego Maradona in the side (the actual GOAT**). One thing that I hadn't appreciated, being 1 at the time of the tournament (don't worry I'm not going to start that again) was that the television station at the time refused to air the opening game of the tournament between the Champs Argentina and Belgium. Which the Argentinians failed to win (is it "Argentinians" or "Argentines"?).

Turns out Maradona's lot weren't so great away from South America, without President Vidiela paying opposing players a visit before key games. The Argentines/Argentinians had a stinker in 82 eventually limping out in the second group stage, with Maradona being sent off in a key game for retaliation to some of the "special attention" he'd been receiving from opposing defenders. This did at least set up the showdown of the tournament between the free scoring  free flowing Braaaaaasiw and the pragmatic slow starters (TM) Italy,  which the Italian's (or is it Italianians, kidding) eventually won. Probably the last we'd see of that young upstart Maradona...

From what I've seen we should always host the World Cup in North or Central America. 1970 looked great; 94 was/is my favourite tournament, bar the final; and 1986, the competition's second visit to Mexico, was an excellent colourful tournament full of exciting players and teams. Except for the holders the Italianians! So much so that I can barely remember what happened to them in the Mexican heat, it was that underwhelming!

From what I recall there was a game against South Korea? That might have been the tournament opener? And there was a game against the Argentine/Argentinians. Then they were eventually eliminated by the French (reigning European World Cup Champions of the Galaxy) in the second round. They'd have had to play Braaaaaasiw in the Quarter Finals anyway ...

Come 1990 the jig was well and truly up for Maradona and Argentina. Considering this was the first World Cup I watched, I can remember being thoroughly disappointed with them from the moment Benjamin Messing lost his boot trying to kick Caniggia into a pulp; through scraping past the USSR (they'd have gone out in the groups had it been the current 32 team format); Maradona's one moment of genius in the game against Braaaaaasiw, amid rumours that they drugged Branco; the penalties that saw off both the Yugoslavianians (I'm messing) and Italy; and that final! The worst World Cup final I've seen (and bear in mind all of the others that I didn't see live seemed to have been better).

But believe it or not, it would turn out that Argentina in 1990 aren't even the worst Champs I've seen in the 8 tournaments I've watched!

Germany weren't great in 1994. But then they're Germany, so that equated to a quarter final exit! Klinsmann did score a quality volley that he set up for himself against South Korea and they did take part in an entertaining 2nd round win over Belgium, which I missed because I was at Butlins (that's another story for another day). But Germany only put up slightly more of a fight than Argentina had 4 years earlier.

Braaaaaasiw in 1998 were probably the best ever reigning champions I've witnessed. For a start they had that Nike advert in the airport, that was worth a Semi Final place on its own. In all seriousness though  they were powered by the best player in the world at the time. Kids imagine Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo actually turned up at a big tournament and replicated what they do to Leganes and Sporting Hee Haw against decent teams... That's Ronaldo in 1998! The man was unstoppable! Except for the whole having a seizure hours before the final.

People talk about Zidane at France 98 but the reality was he only really stood out in the final. The French team is revered in hindsight, whereas Braaaaaasiw were feared, even Denilson!

We got to see the real France in Korea/Japan. Heavily reliant on an injured, and now probably the best in the world, Zidane. For me the best France team I've seen at the World Cup was the 06 lot, who basically tuned up for one last hurrah and came very close to winning the thing. The 02 iteration of the side didn't come near their level, despite being World and European World Cup of the Solar System & Galaxy Champions (I really need to stop with that joke  its been six years!).

Have you ever watched Every Which Way But Loose? Quick synopsis, if you never had ITV during the 1990s. Clint Eastwood is this Street Fighting Prize Fighter who gets his head turned by a pretty country singer he meets in a bar, while he's travelling the country in search of a fight with this legendary street fighter called "Tank Murdoch". At the end of the film he finally gets his fight with a very washed up and out of shape "Tank" but he loses to him, despite dominating the fight, either because the girl is in his head or because he sees that beating "Tank Murdoch" will send him down a similar path as the washed up folk legend that's he's pummelling... Brazil in 2006 were Tank Murdoch!

As much as I love Ronaldo (he's my joint favourite player of all time with Maradona), he just wasn't the electric forward that we saw in 98 or the the lethal finisher that bagged eight in 2002. He kind of walked around the pitch with his hands on his hips, looking like he was in the sort of shape I'd be in if chucked on to a field of Professional Footballers aged 28 (still managed to score this CLASSIC Ronaldo goal against Ghana in the last 16).

Then you had Ronaldinho, he'd graced 02 as part of the "3 R's" attack and was coming off the back of a monster season with Barcelona where he'd won the Champions League and been applauded at the Bernebau after taking Real Madrid apart. But 2006 looked a tournament too much for him despite the bucktoothed, Jerry Curled maestro only being 25/26 at the time.

Roberto Carlos lacked the agility to be as cavalier as he had been in the last two tournaments, and ended up looking like a lost fullback in a pub team (Especially in the defeat against France)! Even Adriano, who was given a shot power of 138,262,937 out of 99 on that year's Pro Evolution soccer disappointed.

It was a sad end to an era of Braaaaaasiwian dominance that had effectively lasted 12 years from the Romario/Bebeto team that was successful in the US.

If Braaaaaasiw were bad I'm not sure what adjective I'd use to describe the next two title defenses that were to come. Granted the Italians in 2010 were unlucky to lose Buffon to injury but they still should have qualified from a group containing Paraguay, New Zealand and Slovakia. The Italian's only achievement of note was a lovely chipped finish from Quagliarella in a frantic 3-2 defeat to the Slovakians. That and their reaffirmation of the "slow starting Italy" stereotype that is lazily rolled out by every pundit on UK television (at least we won't hear that one this year).

Finally we have Spain. Who'd have thought they would have continued trend that has seen 3 of the last 4 World Champions perish in the Group Stage of the following tournament. I blame their signing up of the Diego Costa, a man I recently (correctly) proclaimed to be the King of Shithousery, for a tournament which was to be held in his country of birth (I mean even that is trolling in my eyes)! Things rapidly went down hill for the Spanish (or is it Spaniards ...) and they found themselves dethroned after just two games, much to the delight of that old dude (who I'm assuming was Braaaaaasiwian) with the "Adios Spana" sign. Was that written on a tablet or did I imagine that? If it was, what a time to be alive!

I think what my ramblings will teach you is that one tournament's champion is so often another's laughing stock. Be it washed up has beens, cocky trolls or a bunch of Joga Bontians turned into Stoke! Four years is a long time, especially in a sport so heavily reliant on athleticism and current mental state. Look out Germany...!


*I jest, briefly. As someone with a history degree who has studied the first and second world wars, their causes and effects I'm conscious of trivialising them!

**See I'm down with the kids!

"And a Red card for Ray Wilkins..." 10 Lasting Memories of England World Cup Campaigns

This is kind of where I was planning to go in the next few weeks. I've not done any Ten Things for a while now, and am starting to catch World Cup Fever (promise I'll stop writing text in italics), which is making me want to come here more regularly. I can't think of a better way for a procrastinator like me to do the above, than to bullet ten loosely related subjects.

I was always going to start with England, in spite of the name of the blog. Because sometimes they are playing, sometimes you don't have to justify wanting to stay in and watch the football. Many of those times are during the World Cup.

The key decision for me was the subject I was going to kick off with. Two came to mind 10 Memorable England Goals (so tempted to italic that) or 10 memories in general. The passing of Mr Wilkins last week made the decision for me; he is associated with one of the overriding memories I have of us playing at the World Cup. It's such an indelible event that I think of it despite not actually watching that game because I was so young I wasn't into football.

1. Wilkins' Red card against Morocco

Before I get into this I'd just like to say how sad it is to hear of Ray Wilkins' death. I've never met the guy, and I only really got into football in the twilight of his career. For me he will always be the former QPR player manager, who used to be an Analyst on Football Italia. But from the outpouring tributes it's easy to establish that he was clearly one of life's good guys. I know that when people die it isn't the done thing to point out their flaws, so invariably you hear a lot of nice things about them; but there genuinely seems to be a lot of devastated people who worked with him over the last 30 years and have nothing to say other than than how kind and polite he was. And he kind of gave that impression.

So what happened Ray? Why were we down to 10 men having already lost our captain Bryan Robson to a dislocated shoulder, against the unfancied Moroccans?

Well it would appear that Wilkins, in a fit of petulance, threw the ball at the referee. Obviously that goes against all of the nice things I've just said about Ray, and in his defence it doesn't look like he threw the ball at him intentionally. Wilkins' reaction suggests the same too, he seems both shocked and devastated to see the referee pull out the red card, and is so poignantly downtrodden that the image of him disconsolately trudging off was used by the Sega Megadrive game European Club Soccer as a stock image for when your team had been dumped out of the European Cup. I think that's why I remember the incident so well!

Ray? Is that you? I can't find the original on the internet

2. David Beckham doing a "Ray Wilkins"

This one was definitely intentional, although it could be argued that the reactions from both the referee and the incumbent Atletico Madrid Manager, The King of modern day Catanaccio, Diego Simeone were way over the top. As was the reaction back home the following season, I'm pretty certain effigies were created and either burn or hung! Jesus! Anyway we wouldn't have beaten the Dutch had we gotten passed Argentina. Bergkamp would have scored that ridiculous goal against us.

3. England v Ireland 1990

I'm going to go a bit niche now. Forget all the stuff they show in the BBC clip shows in the run up to the tournament! This is the real sh*t! England versus the Republic of Ireland. England v The Republic of Ireland sums up Italia 90 for me. A dour tournament, full of teams willing to win by any means necessary. The game itself resembled Oldham versus Wimbledon on the Boundary Park plastic pitch. I mean Lineker's goal wow!

The Group that both teams were in, which also contained European Champions Holland along with Egypt, only managed to produce 1 result in 6 games and a total of 5 goals if memory serves me correctly. Although we were treated to the drawing of lots to decide who finished highed out of the Dutch and the Irish, something you don't see every day. The Irish lucked out and got Romania, while Holland went on to face the eventual World Champions Germany. And England? We went on to play Belgium, sneaking through thanks to David Platt's 120th minute volley and avoiding penalties, which we weren't aware that we we sh*t at at the time!

4. Penalty or Goal?!

This has happened to us twice in the World Cup. Twice when playing the Germans in a key Knock Out game. If you're unaware of what I'm referring to it's the old Ball hits the crossbar the quickly bounces down on to/in front of/behind (over) the line.

As I'm in full World Cup mode i.e. I'm watching/reading anything new (and old to be fair) that I can find relating to competitions past, I took the liberty of watching extended highlights of that game in 2010 against the Germans, when Lampards shot did the above and clearly went over the line. Watching it again it's actually scandalous that the goal wasn't given.

The giveaway is the fact that the ball hits the bar twice, which I hadn't noticed in all the commotion at the time. It's just physically impossible for that to happen barring witchcraft or playing FIFA against the Computer on Legendary mode. It defies physics.

The only crumb of comfort that can be taken is that we were terrible anyway, and even if we'd pulled the game back to 2-2, I have no confidence that the Germans wouldn't have run riot anyway. I mean I think Gareth Barry is still trying to catch up with Özil, who has since come over to England and proven that he isn't particularly pacey. How slow is Barry then?!? How did we ever expect to do anything at a World Cup with him playing in the middle?!

The other thing to consider here, which is becoming more apparent to me by the day, is that there's a good chance that the Geoff Hurst shot in 1966 didn't cross the line (Awks). I suppose as they say these things even themselves over the course of 44 years...

In either case they should've reverted to the tried and tested Penalty or Goal rule that served us so well in the playground!

5. Getting booed by your own fans

Same World Cup as the Lampard goal. I promise I'm going to talk about some positive stuff we've done (there's just not much). I actually think that our 2010 performance was actually worse than 2014 despite the fact that we went further. At least in 2014 we were up against Uruguay and Italy (let's gloss over the 0-0 with Costa Rica).

After the draw for 2010 the nations favourite xenophobic scaremonger, The S*n, ran with the famous "EASY" headline. The campaign itself turned out to be anything but. First there was America (Y) and "Oh! And Rob Green's missed it!" I cannot begin to explain how many people messaged me to berate me for Green's error on account of him being the incumbent West Ham number 1. I'm not his representative! I'd have caught that!

Then there was Algeria (A), which sticks with me for two reasons. Firstly the aforementioned Wayne Rooney quote, but secondly and more importantly/comically for the worst attempt at stepovers from an international footballer that I've ever seen.

No wonder the fans were booing!

Things got slightly better the next game, when we scraped past Slovenia with a 1st half header from Jermaine Defoe, but in all the 2010 campaign was a memorable one to forget (if you get my drift).

6. The Best England Side I've seen at a World Cup

I watched Italia 90, and have watched most of our games again since, we were not at our best! Obviously as a 9 year old I got caught up in all the excitement and thought it was on.

In 2002, on the other hand, we were very good. Comparatively speaking that is. I suppose the foundations were set at France 98, where we put in a semi credible performance. Tunisia were swept aside in the Marseille sunshine, and that young kid Scholes scored a "Worldie"; I'm not sure why I used that phrase, I never say "Worldie" it's the sort of thing I'd expect to hear from a self professed "Lad" who uses the phrase "Banter" way too much for my liking and takes what Jamie Redknapp says about the strength of the Premier League to be gospel. That is not me!

Anyway, like I was saying at France 98 the signs where there. We dispatched of an average Colombian side and held our own against an Argentina side containing Gabriel Batistuta in his prime and Ariel Ortega, The New Maradona.

So Korea/Japan rolls around and we're even better. We top a Group of Death containing the same Argentina side, although Batigol is now on the decline and I think there's a new New Maradona (gonna Google search who... it was either Ortega or Gallardo). Then we put Denmark to the sword, in what has to be the best and most convincing knock out victory we've had at a World Cup since I started watching in 1990. Actually scrap that I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's our best in the World Cup! Including when we won the thing! The only game I can think of as a comparison is Paraguay in 1986 when Lineker and Beardsley finally came good. I mean,  Heskey scored! Heskey! Stepovers against Algeria aka the New Denilson, Heskey scored!

And then came Braaaaaasiw. Now let's clear things up here, this was a very good good (maybe not as good as in France 98) Braaaaaasiw. With the "Three R's" in attack. And Ashley Cole is made to look silly for the equaliser (Heskey had been teaching Ronaldinho his tricks). But we took the lead,  and for a good 15-20 minutes after Owen's early goal  I thought we were going to beat them.

Alas it was not meant to be, and we'd have probably choked against the Germans in the Final or messed up the seemingly straightforward Semi against Turkey...

7. 1966

I wasn't about in 66. My mum was 8 at the time. But invariably I've seen loads of the tournament. Especially the bits featuring England. We look like we were decent. But then if you cast your eye wider than the Three Lions who else were good? Italy were  shamed against North Korea, despite dominating European club football at the time and winning the European World Cup two years later. Brazil were muscled out of the tournament like some sort of post 2004 Arsenal at the Reebok Stadium. Russia (or should I say the USSR) were good, as were Germany.

But we had the edge. By edge I mean refereeing decisions akin to the one we saw last night at the Bernabeu. Forget the penalty or goal shout in the final. I'll never get over reading about how the German referee sent the Argentine captain Ratin off "For the look in his eye" despite not being able to speak the same language as him or any other players from the Argentina team. Imagine the Twitter storm now! Imagine how many cards Anthony Martial would get with that sort of officiating. Or 90s Wimbledon forward Andy Clarke, the look in his was always a sinister one...

These two would be screwed with that ref

8. 1970

I always hear how the 1970 England side was even better than the one in 66. Obviously I have no idea as the tournament occurred 10 years before I was born (my mum was now 12 in case you're wondering and aren't very good at maths). But from the perspective of memorable moments alone 1970 trumps the tournament held 4 years earlier.

First you've got all of the off the field pre-tournament goings on. Alf Ramsey managed to offend the locals giving it his best "You can't drink the water here and I'm not eating any of that foreign muck..." Alf Garnett impression. Then skipper Bobby Moore gets arrested under suspicion of stealing a bracelet. And then you've got one of the players getting into trouble for being drunk and disorderly on a plane (was it Jeff Astle?) Great preparation for a title defence...  (that's another Blog post)

On the pitch there were also some memorable moments; some good, some not so good. You got that tackle by Moore (thanks Skinner & Baddiel) and that save by Gordon Banks. Then there are the Astle misses, was he drunk? And the capitulation in the sun while 2-0 up against the Germans in the quarter finals. The Beckenbauer header always sticks in my head.

In all 1970 was a World Cup that produced a lot of memorable moments and talking points involving many of the teams involved, and we did more than our best to bring something to the party.

9. Losing to the Americans in 1950

If my knowledge of 1966 and 70 is limited due to the fact that they were a long time ago forget about 1950.  "How old was your mum Travis?" I hear you ask, guys this blog isn't about my mum's age in comparison to notable world events! ...she was minus 8 (my nan was 19, so this was effectively her Euro 2000 in my eyes).

Anyway, I do know a little bit about what happened in 1950, mainly because it's one of the most fascinating tournaments to me. Because of the way it was structured and how it ended. 1950 is also the first time that the Home Nations entered the competition, and that came with it's own drama.

First you had Scotland forfeiting their place at the tournament as they only thought it was worth going if they finished top of their qualifying group (the Home Nations Championship) despite 2nd place in the competition earning a spot in Braaaaaasiw too.

Then you had England. We'd decided to enter, come top in the qualifying and were ready to show the World how it was done. First up an American side made up of amateurs, some of whom weren't even American. We all know what happened next right. We run out 10-1 winners and the times forgets to print the 1 before the 0...

10. "Did he just wink?"

"Remember when we used to get to Quarter Finals?" That's what everyone always says. I suppose it's true, although for a long time the quarter finals were essentially getting out of your first round group. And we missed a few of those competitions, either through arrogance (1930-38) or through underestimating Poland (74), basically more arrogance and being drawn with Italy and the European Champions Czechoslovakia* (78).

As I was saying anyway, Quarter Finals. That quote is from a Quarter Final, the infamous clash with Portugal in 2006. That whole tournament sticks out for me. Yet again we were terrible, bumbling past Paraguay and Trinidad then drawing with Sweden. And there was Owen twisting his knee, I'm not finding a clip of that, it grims me out.

The best part of that tournament was boozing with my mates from Harrow, which has become a bit of a tradition now. One of the best days out I've had featured Peter Crouch pulling on Brent Sancho's dreadlocks for leverage to head home and seal the win. England moved on from the group stage to scrape past Ecuador courtesy of a David Beckham free kick, which then set up a Quarter Final showdown with Portugal.

After spending the best part of an hour growing increasingly frustrated at the ball being aimlessly banged up to him, while on his own in the Portugal half, Wayne Rooney stamped on Ricardo Carvalho in a moment of petulance. The whole thing seems a bit harsh with hindsight, or maybe he's just a rubbish stamper. Then came the moment that incensed Alan Shearer. Cristiano Ronaldo appeared to wink towards the Portuguese bench as his Manchester United colleague trudged off dejectedly. Shearer, unable to hide his rage, picked up on this in the post-match analysis and classily hinted that Rooney should seek retribution when they both returned to United in the new season. Nice!

Hopefully this year we can produce more of the 1966, 1998 & 2002 moments and less of the 1990, 2010 & 2014. Either way, the key thing to note is my Mum is now 60 and my Nan 87...

Ciao!

*Can you believe my phone doesn't predict "Czechoslovakia" am I that old? I remember when Czechoslovakia was a place, it's not like I'm talking about Siam or Prussia

The State of Football/Cricket March 2018 - West Ham, Smith and the World Cup

I'm back! Yeah yeah  I know... Not even going to apologise or make any excuses, life's busy!

So much is happening at the moment on and off the pitch. Where do I start? I'll save the best til last i.e. La Coupé de Monde! Die Weltmeisterschaft! You know that thing. The month's escape from normal life! The vain attempt to relive summers gone (basically 90 and 94 for me)! THAT! Like I said that comes later.

First, life! Well not life, day to day sport. Mundanity. Is that a word? It should be! I've just invented a word! Take that Ms Kanarak! Told you my English would get me somewhere! A blog about football read by a couple of hundred/maybe thousand people on the internet! Who's the English failure now eh?*

Anyway as I was saying, first every day football and my club West Ham in particular. I actually started writing this the other day on my commute to and from work, and I had reams and reams on the broken promises and outright lies of our board coupled with their expectation that we keep putting our hands in our pockets paying for a Champions League team yet getting a Championship response from the owners.

On top of this I had an anecdote of how I'd given mine and my son's tickets away for yesterday's game, and upgraded my son's to an adult to find, to my horror/disgust that we were charging £38 to upgrade a child's ticket (so how much is the full ticket?) to a relegation 6 pointer!

I decided to omit the bulk of this rant because I don't want to be too negative after yesterday's result; but at the same time the win against Southampton changes nothing in my opinion. The unrest at Burnley wasn't about the result and had been a long time coming, the Porn Barrons (or Smut Peddlers as my mates in one WhatsApp group refer to them) need to do a lot to win me and a lot of other fans back!

Moving on from West Ham I want to briefly discuss cricket. Yeah I do that on here every now and then. Cricket is my second favourite sport, seen as I no longer have an interest in F1 (it's gotten silly/predictable/boring). So last week it came to light that Cameron Bancroft was cheating in the 3rd Test against South Africa. To those of you not that familiar with our national summer sport, Bancroft was essentially scuffing up one side of the ball in order to aid its,  sometimes unpredictable, deviation while in mid air. This makes it harder for the opposition batsmen to hit it, increasing their chances of getting out. That's all you're getting in terms of an explanation from me, there's not much more to it to be fair, despite all the diagrams floating around from the  part time Physicists on social media.

There seems to be fair few cricket fans out there with short/selective memories and an inflated sense of moral fibre. While Smith was found guilty of cheating; he wasn't actually was he, he was found guilty of allowing it to happen or being complicit in Bancroft's actions; regardless while he was found guilty of cheating, the reaction has been nothing short of ridiculous.

The press chasing him through airports, the tearful interviews resembling that of someone who has been caught taking performance enhancing drugs (or facing the death penalty after being caught smuggling drugs into South East Asia), the social media reactions from a number of former cricketers. It's all a bit much. I mean come on I've seen people suggesting that's why the Aussies won the Ashes, let's not be silly now! Australia won the Ashes because Smith himself is an excellent batsmen, England have the most fragile of batting lineups (look at the New Zealand test the other day, were they ball tampering too?), and England are terrible away from home, hence the inability to beat Bangladesh, India,  Pakistan and even my beloved (yet terrible) West Indies side in recent years.

Ball tampering is bad, and it's cheating, and it shouldn't happen (and Smith and Co should be punished) but it's happened before, in some cases quite recently and some of "Typical cheating Aussies" comments I'm seeing are coming from people who seem to forget that the contemporary commentating guru that is Mike Atherton, was caught doing the very same thing, while captain of England, as has the current South African captain Faf du Plessis (TWICE)!

I've even seen Stuart Broad, the man who famously blatantly knicked a ball into an Australian fielder's hands in the Ashes,  pretended that he hadn't and went on to score match-winning runs, chipping in. The guy has got some front!

Now I don't think that Broad should have been dragged over hot coals for that and I think the same of Smith. A significant fine and a ban for the rest of the series would have been more befitting of the crime. This whole situation is that classic reaction that we currently get to any controversy in sport. Just like when people say, "The standard of refereeing is getting worse..." the minute someone makes a mistake in a football match. No it's not, the reaction to errors is. We have cameras that pick up everything from every angle and footage that can reach us from a regional league the other side of the World in minutes. Then the social media outcry, the experts, the moral preachers. Give it a rest!

Finally, and most importantly! IT'S A WORLD CUP YEAR! I'm actually starting to get excited now. I've trawling the internet searching for new stuff to read, going back through old Barry Davies videos (a lot of them are getting removed from YouTube on copyright grounds, get involved ASAP). It's coming!

I need to start working out how my days are going to pan out; the 13.00 kick offs on working days are going to be a killer, and we're expecting twins (yep that's right!) a few weeks before the tournament starts. This is going to be the biggest challenge ever! Bigger than the midnight kick offs in USA 94 (couldn't blag those with my parents, aged 13); the 7am starts in 02 when I had only just finished University and as a result hadn't woken up before 8am for 3 years; bigger than that time in 1998 when  I bunked A-Level History to watch Paraguay v South Africa (I was convinced Chilavert was gonna score a free kick)**; or that night in 2014 when I failed miserably to stay up and watch Japan v Senegal, which began at 2am.

This is a true test of my initiative. Whatever happens, expect more ramblings on here in the coming weeks (the reality is I'll probably end up being too busy/lazy to act upon my thoughts) as my excitement grows!

*I actually did OK at English and at school in general. That little Monologe was completely made up for the purpose of a cheap gag. Although Ms Kanarak (or "Kanarek"? I can't remember) genuinely was my GCSE English teacher. And she was a bit of a dick! Sorry if you care about the World Cup and are reading Ms Kanarak/Kanarek!

**this actually happened! And the same Ms Kanarak/Kanarek (I actually think it's spelt Konarek now), who was the Head of the Sixth Form, rang my house! No lie!