25 Things that you shouldn't do at or during the 2014 World Cup

I feel like every post I write starts with an apology for not posting in a while. I'm sorry, I've just been so caught up in the World Cup. I've actually started a couple of blog posts. I can prove it, I have the drafts. I'm not showing you my drafts though! You're not stealing my thoughts! You'll have to just take my word for it. While watching the football and fretting about when to do my next update I came up with this. Here's 25 things you shouldn't do at or during the 2014 World Cup.

1. Don't rely on the same core group of players you've had for the last 6 years now. Especially when you were taken apart in the dress rehearsal for the tournament a year ago. Holland and Chile will have a field day.

2. Don't hold a World Cup preparation camp months before the tournament and stress the importance of fitness if you're gonna be struggling a game and a half into the competition against Cost Rica

3. Don't underestimate the importance of the heat in this tournament. Croatia died against Mexico, as did Germany against Ghana and Bosnia against Nigeria. The heat has also been responsible for the encouragingly high goals per game ratio and some great battles in Extra Time. When was the last time you saw teams trading goals in Extra Time, it just doesn't happen nowadays. Expect a return to normality come next season and in 2018.

4. Don't leave two of your most prolific goalscorers at home, especially after one has worked so hard to get back to fitness and if one of the players you're going to take is renowned for blowing hot and cold.

5. Don't tell me that Cahill's goal was the best ever or as good as Van Basten's. It wasn't. It was good but there have been better at this tournament alone.Van Persie's header was better. So was Rodriguez's volley.

6. Don't turn up and play the same basic, technically deficient, kick and rush game that hasn't worked at EVERY World Cup except for one where you got favourable decisions cos you were at home, you'll get ONE point off of Costa Rica!

7. Don't blame the Manager if the above point happens. He hasn't made these players technically deficient.

What the actual f***!?!?

8. Don't turn up and row over bonuses (I almost wrote "boni", would the plural of bonuses be "boni") or force a money convey to be sent halfway across the world...

9. Don't try to elbow your opponent in the back WWF (I'm not saying WWE I was born in the 80's, sue me World Wildlife Foundation) off the top rope elbow drop style. I've watched a lot of football in my time. I'm not suggesting for a second that Song should have attacked Mandzukic in a more damaging way or condoning violence (especially serious assault) on the football field. But what on earth was that elbow about?!? Footballers elbow other footballers. As I said, it's not something I particularly want to see as it's can be very damaging. But they just don't do what Alex Song did, what was that??

10. Don't fight your team mate or your manager.

11. Don't think that an injured Cristiano Ronaldo can work miracles

12. Don't think Brazil are any good. They're not!

13. Don't talk about James Rodriguez as if he's come from nowhere and he's waiting to be snapped up by a big team. He cost Monaco €45m last summer, he's very much established as a very good player. The point of them buying him was to become a big team.

14. Don't refer to James Rodriguez as "James", it's "Ha-mez". It's not like "Ha-mez" is hard to say!

This is just stupid, I'm funnier than this!

15. Don't bite an opponent. Especially if you've got previous for doing so. You'll get caught and people will be making stupid social media memes for years to come.

16. Don't get in a fight with Honduras! They'll kill you!

17. Don't back Uruguay based on the fact that Luis Suarez plays for them. They're not that good, even when Cavani is on form.

18. Don't tell me the Ecuador v Honduras wasn't one of the most entertaining games of the tournament. Purely based on the lack of quality on show and the sheer rawness of some of the tackles.

19. Don't think that Greece can't sneak out of a group despite being pretty uninspiring throughout their 3 games. Euro 2004 & 2012 taught us that could happen.

20. Don't underestimate France, especially in Euro 2016. They've been bloody good, and this is without Ribery!

21. Don't let Klose break Ronaldo's goalscoring record. The man hasn't scored a goal from further than 12 yards out and most of them have come in group matches against lesser opposition.

22. Don't let the game pass you by when you're 1-0 down against the Germans in the Quarter Final. What the hell were France playing at?

23. Don't tell me this is the best modern World Cup, unless by "modern" you mean post 2000. I can't speak for 1986 as I didn't see it at the time but I've been told it was good. I can however assure you that at good as this tournament has been, it's still some way behind 1994. If you think I'm exaggerating go on YouTube and search Nigeria v Italy, Argentina v Romania, Sweden v Romania, Italy v Spain, Brazil v Holland there's loads! And as for the stars, Messi, Neymar and Rodriguez may have had good tournaments so far but they can be matched (if not surpassed) by Romario, Hagi, Stoichkov, Roberto Baggio and Brolin.

24. Don't hold out for a better "cash out" offer on your bet of Mexico to qualify when they're 1-0 against Holland up but defending a corner with just 4 minutes to go. Take the money and run!

25. Don't fall behind when you promised to do regular blog posts; with three games happening every day, you'll never catch up