From daily to weekly. Apologies

It would appear that I bit off way more than I could chew in saying I'd update this blog every day during the European World Cup. OK so I lied, it's not like I went a week without updating it...

Anybody that's paying attention, or that cares, will notice that that last statement is also a lie, it has been a week since I last put finger to button in anger on here. But now I'm back! And what a week it has been!

In summary...

Captain Cavemaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

England were almost single handedly beaten by a caveman. When the hell did Olaf Mellburg score goals? And when he does when does he get a brace, that would have been one hell of a bet!

In Group A Greece managed to do a "Greece Euro 2004" and sneak through at the expense of the Russians, despite the Russians clearly being the best side in the group and finishing with a much better record in the tournament than the Greeks?!?! What the hell is up with this head to head rubbish that UEFA are doing? Nobody knows what is going on. Were Spain and Croatia going to draw 2-2? Were Italy going out even if they won 10-0? Were Spain going to go through? The Italian players had no idea what they needed to do to throw the Ireland game, so they just beat them and went through to the next round. I'm joking by the way I don't buy into all that "Italians are cheats nonsense". They're no more cheats than anyone else. To be fair there is one thing I find more confusing than the logic behind "Head to Head" and that is, who is who out of Gekas and Salpingidis? I thought Gekas had scored twice but it turns out it was Salpingidis that got their goal in the Poland game. Gekas could end up with the Golden Boot at this rate...

These are two different guys I swear!

Another thing that I noticed in Group A were two hilarious names in the Czech Republic team. I'm not sure if I'm the only one who giggles every time the commentators talk of Gebre Selassie (the Czech right back) and how he's full of running... I'm not surprised he's full of running, you should have seen him in the 10,000 Metres in Atlanta!!

Watch out for him on the Czech right flank

And on top of that they've also got a guy in the side called "You're a Czech" (spelt Jiracek). It's almost as if he had an identity crisis and wasn't sure who he should represent at international level, so somebody had to remind him in his name. Thank god for him he's not from The Central African Republic. "You're a Central African Republican", would that fit on the back of a shirt?


In Group B the Dutch are out! I have nothing funny to say about that, they've ruined my chances in work's prediction competition, I had them as runners up! There's talk of dissent in the camp, in traditional Dutch style. Holland if you're gonna go all late 1990's on us you might as well get the De Boer brothers back, who can I say, are so inseparable they've got a joint Twitter account. Give it up guys! Those Ajax days are over, you're going to have to go your separate ways at some point in your lives.

England are through, and once again I'm left thinking, "Am I the only one who can see the cracks?" As mentioned before we let the Swedish caveman score twice, and we didn't look all that convincing in our victory over Ukraine (I've been told I'm not supposed to say "The Ukraine"). Our goal came from a piece of goalkeeping so dodgy that even Shay Given, Petr Cech and myself were shaking our heads while we watched it on TV. You know for the fact that the Sun will have some sort of "Woy" Hodgson pun tomorrow and will have proclaimed us the new all conquering Kings of the European World Cup!

So it's on to the quarter finals and the only thing I have left to say is, how defensive/aggressive is Roy Keane? Wow! All he ever seems to say is "Listen!" We're all listening Roy (apologies to those of you who follow me on Twitter, you'll have heard that one already)! If you think I'm exaggerating watch this. Make sure you listen!

Oh and Zlatan scored AGAIN!