The European World Cup Semi Finalists

We've got three games left of the 2012 European World Cup. It's been a very entertaining tournament, I've thoroughly enjoyed it. Quite frankly I have no idea what I'm going to do with my Evenings for another two years (and I'm scared by the prospect of emptiness).

Here's a brief, and very alternative, guide to the remaining four teams vying for European World Glory.

Portugal

International Footballing Pedigree
The Portuguese have never won anything at senior level in international football. The had a decent World Cup in 1966 and managed to finish 3rd and in more recent times came 4th in the 2006 World Cup in Germany. Portugal have a slightly better record in the European World Cup reaching the Semi Finals in 1984 and 2000 and the Final on home soil in 2004. Can they deliver this year.

"Nope! I'm not sure who Martin Keown is either?"

Legends
Has to be Eusebio and Luis Figo, both of who were pictured sitting together at their Quarter Final win over the Czech Republic. Apparently Martin Keown didn't know who Eusebio was, shame on you Martin, to be fair though, he probably doesn't know who you are...

Stereotype
The Portuguese always have very talented midfielders, most of which are wingers. Portuguese forwards are mediocre at best.

Worst Player
Helder Postiga? I'm going to plump for him. Postiga, once of Sp*rs, has only ever done one thing of note in his career as far as I'm concerned and that is score against England in the 2004 European World Cup Quarter Final.

Chances
According to everyone else they have a good chance off of the back that Ronaldo plays for them. Personally I can't see them getting past Spain.

Spain

International Footballing Pedigree
Barring the 1964 European World Cup Spain were absolute dog poo at international level, that was up until 2008 when something clicked. The Spanish have now gone from that team you liked watching but knew would never amount to anything (a bit like Argentina) to an all conquering winning (and passing) machine. It's testament to their ability that I'm starting to dislike them, I don't like winners.

Check out those boots

Legends
For me it would have to be Raul and Andoni Zubizarreta but then these guys never really amounted to anything at international level (much like the sides they played in). Another notable mention, but a man who is some way off of legendary status, is Alfonso. Alfonso was never an amazing player for me but he was the first person to consistently wear white boots. Well that's what I remember anyway, and he was the most expensive player on Championship Manager 97/98, £18m?? You're paying for the boots!

Stereotype
The Spanish never score an ugly goal and every one of their players would walk into any other nations team and pick it for the manager too. They pass pass pass pass pass pass pass pass and then pass some more.

Worst Player
Victor Valdez, I mean he's alright but he does make the occasional mistake, and he'll never ever get to play for the national team consistently, what with Casillas & Reina and the likes of De Gea and Asenjo who will play for La Furia Roja (check me and my Spanish out).

Chances
They'll probably end up winning the thing and become the first team to successfully defend the European World Cup. That will displease me!

Germany

International Footballing Pedigree

Need I even write this? The daddies of international football, well in Europe anyway. For those of you living under a rock European World champions in 1972, 1980 and 1996, World Champions 1954, 1974 and 1990. The Germans have had their worst period in international football, in terms of success in the last 16 years and they still managed a World Cup Final, European World Cup final and the 3rd place playoff at the last two World Cups. In short, they don't mess about.

Even the tracksuit top is a bit questionable. Are there no mirrors at the German FA?

Legends

Franz Beckenbauer, pioneer of the Sweeper position. Gerd Muller, prolific goal machine. Paul Brietner, Karl-Heinz Rumenigge, Jurgen Klinsman, Rudi Voller, Lothar Matthaus... the list goes on. All I can say is that for all their great players they could never find a good hair stylist. What is with the tashes and mullets guys?

Stereotype
The Germans always win, especially if it's a penalty shootout. If their style of play could be summed up in one word it would be efficient.

Worst Player
I'm gonna say Jerome Boateng. I mean he's not a bad player he just has lapses in concentration when he plays at fullback. Their Centre-halves can be questionable at times too.

Chances
I've been backing them for the last two and a half years to win this thing, then I lost my nerve and put my money on France (seen as I never get these things right). If Spain don't win it Germany will.

Italy

International Footballing Pedigree

But for Germany, they'd be the most successful European side in international football. World Cup winners in 1934, 1938, 1982 and 2006 and a European World Cup in 1968. They're pretty handy at this tournament lark.

Happy Birthday!!

Legends

Like the Germans there are so many Giuseppe Meazza, Luigi Riva, Dino Zoff, Paolo Maldini... the list goes on. It's Paolo Maldini birthday today, so I'm going to put up a picture of him.

Stereotype

The Italians are defensive, and they're cheats and they love an illegal bet. Don't watch any of their games as they'll be absolute snooze-fests.

Worst Player

Mario Balotelli for me, I get that he has talent and her can do amazing things, but I'd play Di Natale given the chance. Personally I think he wouldn't have started so many games had Giuseppe Rossi been fit or Giampaolo Pazzini not been shocking this season. He does have a great song though.

Chances

Despite having the worst preparation to the tournament the Italians find themselves in the Semis off the back of the most one sided 0-0 I've seen for a while. The last two times they've been embroiled in betting/match fixing scandals in the run up to major tournaments they've won them (1982 & 2006). Who knows what they'll do...

Right, that's the four Semi Finalists, I'm off to bed. Enjoy the games, let's hope these last three can live up to the high standards set so far in the competition.