"Game's Gone!" The Penaltification of Football

 

Guess who's back! Back again...!

It's taken another death for me to put metaphorical pen to metaphorical paper. Although this one isn't an actual living being, thank goodness; I don't want my blog to become a glorified obituaries column.

This post has been on the cards for some time now to be honest. I once did a 10 things I like about Football, back in the early days of this blog, and I may have even done a 10 things I hate... back then too (ahh the days when I was childless and would post multiple times in a month, occasionally a week, good times)? If I did this thing would have made it.

The last decade or so has seen the game slowly and steadily move away from its purest form, FA cup finals have been moved to the late afternoon to accommodate TV audiences in far flung parts of the World; League championships in major European football nations have become predictable (see Juventus, Bayern, PSG, Olympiakos, Celtic etc) due to the widening financial gap between those at the top and their rivals; We've implemented a system that see's large pauses in top level games with referees, fans and television pundits pouring over endless slow-motion replays and punishes players for being 10 centimetres "offside" in the pursuit of achieving flawless officiating; And we've recently seen 12 of the richest teams in the World lobbying for a closed competition, where they face no jeopardy for a bad run of performances and get given a sh*t ton of money for the privilege, leaving behind the rest of the football pyramid within each of their respective domestic setups. Marvellous!

It feels like barely a few weeks pass before we hear fans and pundits clutching their pearls and pointing to the latest outrage. The death of Football. "The Game's gone!" Has become such a familiar cry. So much so that it's become a football cliché, and subsequently a topic of conversation on one of my favourite contemporary football podcasts at the moment; the aptly named, Football Cliché's Podcast.

There was recently (well a few weeks or even months ago) an episode dedicated to this trope in, which discussion focused on the many factors that cause those that love the game to utter the above words. And an attempt was made to pinpoint the exact moment at which the game Went. And that got me thinking.

Many people will point to the early 1990's and seismic events such as the formation of the Premier League or Champions League, or the introduction of the concept of football being broadcast via Satellite Pay TV. Or later on when clubs started spending tens of millions of pounds, or Euros depending on where you live, on single signings. Or that time when Man United dropped out of the FA Cup only to get their a**es handed to them by Romario and Edmundo (with Barry Davies on the comms [Insert cool/sunglasses emoji]).

For me though, football died, or went. Long before that. A couple of decades before. When something was introduced that completely changed what we attempting to get out of the beautiful game. The first of the nails in the game's coffin was in my eyes, this introduction of the Penalty Shoot-out.

Now hear me out. I understand the logistical argument that can be made to counter the point I'm about to make. But in response to that I question how we managed to cope without penalties in the 90 to 100 years before they became a part of the game (barring the 1968 European Championship semi final). I also question why it has to be so expensive for fans of the two teams who have to do it all again in a week/a fortnight/a few days time. Surely there are some other issues that should have been addressed.

So here's my argument.

Picture this: It's the 1860's. Rules have been drawn up to codify this exciting new game all the cool kids are playing called Association Football (latterly abbreviated to "Soccer"). Teams start to form in pockets of the UK and begin to play matches of the new game against each other and it's a roaring success. But how do you make things interesting? How do you systematically determine who the best, and worst, teams who play Association Football are?

Well back then those guys come up with another idea. A competition. The Football Association Challenge Cup. The premise is simple. A set of teams enter and are drawn randomly against each other. The winner of each tie/match advances to play again and the loser is eliminated. Culminating in the best two teams (or best two that have avoided being drawn against each other) playing in a grand showdown at the end. Like reaching the final boss on a Computer Game 115+ years later.

The tournament is a success, each game draws attention from large crowds all wanting to catch a glimpse of the spectacle that is playing out. But there's one issue. Are the Winners or "Cup Finalists" actually the best teams to have entered that year's competition? Or are they just the most fortuitous? Have the best two teams already been drawn to play each other at an earlier stage? Or did the best team have an off day or suffer the misfortune of injuries to players at key times in the competition? The only way to settle this is by staging a "Round Robin" style tournament where all the teams play each other, home and away, with points being awarded to the victor in each match...

You see where I'm going with this right? That blossoms into tournaments in other countries, then between nations, then between the champions within each nation etc etc.

But in each case the brief is clear. The spectacle is well defined. We are witnessing a game of Association Football between two teams. Much like a game of Poker where money is laid at stake, the jeopardy makes that contest even more interesting. As does often the preconceived notion of how the contest may play out, which often comes from memories of previous competitive encounters between the two sides. But we are here to watch a game of Association Football, just like we were in 1872, and 1888, and 1930.

Or are we?

This is where the "Penaltification" begins. In knockout matches, i.e. those where the loser stands to be eliminated from the competition, there are instances where the two competitors are so evenly matched that after 90 minutes of Association Football both teams have scored the same number of games. The solution at first was simple. Extend the match by 30 minutes. Surely a winner will be determined as fatigue set in? The spectators would also love to see an extra half an hour of drama. But what if a winner still can't be determined after a 120 minutes?

The answer is simple to me, and was to the rule makers for some 80 or 90 years. Play again. We want to see the contest between the two sides, especially two so evenly matched, and we want to determine a victor. It's a no brainer for me. I love football, so let me watch some more.

Then something changed. Somewhere along the lines the desire to award a victor overcame that to watch the contest. We, or the rule makers, decided to take one aspect of the game a situation usually used to penalise infringements close to One's own goal. A situation that statistically only occurs once in every five games. And decided that the outcome of the contest would be decided purely based on each team's ability to convert an uncontested shot 12 yards from goal.

Now I understand the premise. I understand why this would appear to some as a perfect way to settle a deadlocked contest. It's a test of One's nerve and provides additional drama/jeopardy for all involved.  But is it Association Football though? Not in my eyes. It's a very small aspect of the game. Why not ask the teams to take turns at taking or defending against other Set Pieces? Like direct free kicks just outside the box or corners? Why not have one on one situations, like those trialled in the early days of MLS, where a player is passed through on goal and has to beat the keeper?

I also understand that there was or is a desire to settle the contest. As mentioned earlier, I get that there are logistical and financial challenges behind replaying the contest a few days or weeks later. But are there? We coped before, at a time when the game had less investment, when domestic and international travel was more arduous and time consuming, and when squads were much smaller, to the point that the concept of a "squad" wasn't even a thing.

So we now have a situation where, as mentioned earlier, the desire to settle the contest between the two teams and move on to the next phase actually outweighs that of the audience's will to watch a game of Associated Football between two contestants. Now if you think I'm being dramatic in saying that, ask yourself why in some competitions we no longer even have the extended 30 minute period to determine a winner?

We've gotten to a place now where we just want to get the football match over with; and subsequently we value finishing 4th in the Premier League (or in some cases any place from 17th upwards) over winning these individual contests and potentially being crowned the overall Victor in the Football Association Challenge Cup. Where fans and pundits seem to get more excited and expend more energy talking about potential signings, even when we know that signing the best players in the World at that time guarantees nothing, see Eden Hazard at Real Madrid and Di Maria at Man United as two examples.

We'd rather the suits hand the cheque out so we can speculate about who our team may be able to sign. We'd rather muse over potential takeovers by Billionaires with no previous connection to the club they are looking to purchase or the surrounding communities, KNOWING how bad that has panned out for some clubs. We'd rather our teams qualified for European competitions that we have next to no chance of actually competing in, or making it to the "Promised Land" of the Premier League, even if it is for a 12 month stint where a place in the bottom 3 is almost a nailed on certainty.

The next stage is for us to scrap the match and just play the Penalty Shoot-out, or even scrap the Shoot-out determine the winner (and hand out the resulting multi-million pound novelty cheques) based on transfer activity or social media presence. Or maybe "History" that seems to be something that everyone is hung up on? Why watch an actual game of Association Football when you can just revel your team's achievements in them 40 years ago?

I just want to watch a football match, preferably at 3pm on a Saturday!! Bring back FA Cup Replays! Actually I JUST WANT TO WATCH A MATCH OF ASSOCIATION FOOTBALL like they did in 1872!

Anyone got the highlights of The Wanderers vs The Old Etonians?

PS I'd also like to point out that it is very rare that two teams will draw multiple ties against each-other, except for that time Arsenal played Leeds in the FA Cup back when I was a kid and they ended up like a round behind everyone else! AND I'd like to point out that we'd never had a 0-0 FA Cup Final until they scrapped the replay in favour of Penalties; then we had that awful Arsenal (Invincibles on the decline) v Man United Final.

10 Things: Week 2 - 10 Memorable FA Cup Finals (That I've seen)

It's been a pretty busy bank holiday weekend for me hence the lack of new posts on here. I've been especially busy watching West Ham book their place in the Championship playoff final, I'll probably have something to say about that (especially the trademark Kevin Nolan tap in) at some point later this week. So don't worry I'm not slacking already.

Unless you've been living under a rock, or you're American or just some weirdo you'll know that Saturday gone hosted one of the biggest games of the footballing calendar, the 1,293,486,354th FA Cup Final. I think it was something more in the 120's, I was merely emphasizing that, as with Merseyside Derby's, there's always that inclination for commentators to tell you how many there's been before. As if we care! All we football fans want is our team in the final hopefully lifting the old silver pot at some point around 4:45, or should I say 7:30 if the sponsors have their say...

I've been watching FA Cup Finals since 1989 I've seen upsets, mismatches, goalfests and snoozefests. I've even had the privilege of attending one which unfortunately developed from being an upset into a goalfest. Here's ten that I've found memorable for all sorts of reasons.

Rush is on the left right??

1989 Liverpool v Everton
As an eight year old still finding my feet when it came to familiarising myself with the football calendar, imagine how excited I was to find out that there was a live game on TV at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon. Remember back then there was no internet, so no streaming games on your BBC or Acorn computer, no dodgy channels to watch down the local pub with Iranian commentary, any kids reading this (have I done the joke about kids not reading nowadays?? Yeah, see my first post...) you don't know you're born!! So not only was it pretty special to find myself watching a game on a Saturday afternoon, imagine how happy I was when it ended up being a dramatic goal glut. For those of you that have no idea what I'm talking about, probably most of you, Liverpool scored after only a few minutes through John Aldridge who then proceeded to spend the next 80+ minutes being more wasteful than an incompetent local council. Just when it looked like it was going to be a 1-0 final (god there's been tons of those) Stuart McCall popped up and equalised with minutes, if not seconds, to go. Liverpool promptly replaced Aldridge with his better look-a-like Ian Rush, who put them ahead in extra time, only for McCall to pop up again and equalise. Then Rush went and scored again and won it for Liverpool. 8 Year old Travis thought to himself, "This Cup Final lark is pretty entertaining!" Wait til next year Travis...

1990 Manchester United v Crystal Palace
My friends and I often debate which final was better out of this and the previous year, In my eyes this is/was the best FA Cup Final I've ever witnessed. For a start Steve Coppell did that clicky thing you did with your hands in the 90's to indicate that you found something pleasing (see 5:00 into the video). Naff 90's customs aside, the game was entertaining from start to finish, with Palace taking the lead early only to see United come back from behind and lead 2-1 in the second half. Enter super sub Ian Wright, the man who'd came into professional football late from a non-league side and would then go on to become Arsenal's all time top scorer (until Henry came along) and who would talk absolute nonsense at half time during World Cup games  until Marcel "For Sure" Desailly came along. Wright scored twice to equalise then put Palace into the lead only for Mark Hughes to pop up and force the game to a replay. The replay was not a classic, Man United won with a winner from Lee Martin I think, whatever happened to him?

1994 Manchester United v Chelsea
In my time I've seen many a David versus Goliath football match and in my time I've seen many Davids fell Goliath. In May 1994 Goliath turned up, David shot him with with catapult, the rock bounced away with Goliath unaffected and Goliath then turned and squashed David with one mighty stomp. The only other Cup Final I remember being as one sided was Manchester United v Millwall (in 2004 I think), and that was understandable, that lot are useless! It didn't help Chelsea's cause that they seemed intent of giving Man United penalties at every opportunity possible. Definitely one of Wembley's mismatches.

1995 Everton v Manchester United
In 1995 David won! This Cup Final was prior to my sordid love affair with The People's Club but I still enjoyed the result. Man United had chucked the league title away the week before when they couldn't get past Ludek Miklosko ("He comes from near Moscow...") and the rest of the West Ham defence on the last day of the season. Even though they hadn't completely evolved into the winning machine that we have become accustomed to in the last 20 years, we all still wanted them to lose. And lose they did. The two things I remember most from this game were Paul Rideout stunning Wembley quite early in the first half, I genuinely couldn't believe Everton had scored at the time; and Neville Southall being ridiculously agile for a fat bloke, he pretty much kept United at bay for much of the 2nd half. What is it with fat blokes being deceptively agile when playing in goal?

1996 Manchester United v Liverpool
I swear this post isn't just A History of Manchester United's FA Cup Finals, it's testament to their success that they've appeared in so many in the last 20 years. The 1996 final was not one of their finest hours. This was my least favourite final, not just because of Liverpool's cream Armani suits, not because the game was awful, not because it was settled with the sound of Martin Tyler screaming, "CANTONA!" as he annoyingly always did by that point of the 90's (I'm not even sure he did the original commentary on the game as it would have been on BBC 1 but I've since heard his commentary on the game). But because it was the first cup final since 1989 that I didn't get to watch properly. My mum decided to take me shopping for new school trousers ON FA CUP FINAL DAY!! As you can imagine I was not pleased. My dad and I had the game on on the radio in the car and we did manage to rush home in time to see CANTONA! win it for United, I was not happy.

1997 Chelsea v Middlesbrough
Can you believe that back in 1997 I actually felt sorry for poor Chelsea (this was the same in 1990 with Man United). It just goes to show that as a kid you're an idiot. Back then they were useless though, I can remember them being promoted back to the top flight. I can remember how run down Stamford Bridge used to look, I also remember being a little excited when Ruud Gullit and Glen Hoddle (both in the twilights of their careers) signed for them. Had I known what the beast would have turned into I most certainly would have begrudged Di Matteo giving them the lead after just seconds against poor Middlesbrough. I can't even remember who scored the second Chelsea goal, for the record I don't want to remember.

2001 Liverpool v Arsenal
I didn't watch this one live as at the age of 20 I used to play cricket for a team on Saturday afternoons. As a person who likes Arsenal and has a strong dislike for Liverpool I would seem I didn't miss much. In the history books this will go down as Liverpool completing the second part of a historic, but two-bob, treble. I think the game is more significant as it gave many Arsenal fans, who were excited by the Arsene Wenger led revolution that had started at their club, a glimpse into the future of the club and how their many near misses with success would pan out in years to come. This was also the first FA Cup Final in The Millennium Stadium, two crimes were committed that day in Cardiff. The first one was Murder, Arsenal absolutely murdered Liverpool that day, I've not even seen the full 90 minutes but I can safely say from the footage I've seen the only place you'd experience more of a massacre would be in some sort of military dictatorship. The 2nd crime committed that day was Robbery. Arsenal were most certainly robbed of the cup that day (but to be fair it was their own fault), I'm pretty sure the engravers had already etched the "A-r..." on the base of the trophy when Owen popped up and got the first of his two goals. Robbery!

Not a bad view for £25

2006 Liverpool v West Ham
The only FA Cup final I've ever had the pleasure of attending. I'll start at the beginning, West Ham finally came good in 2006 and got to the Cup Final. There had been a near miss in 1991 when we were mauled by Nottingham Forest at Villa Park, the only time I've ever cried over a football match (in my defence I was 10), and there had been a quarter final in 1994 where we'd been humbled by plucky underdogs Luton Town (see my opinions on underdogs against West Ham in last week's 10 Things). Other than that we'd showed no signs of ever getting near Wembley or Cardiff, so imagine my delight when, after me saying in every round, "This is it, these are the guys that are going to knock us out..." we got to the final. Then the drama started, despite having an allocation of 23,000 tickets and only 22,000 season ticket holders (me being one of them), West Ham United managed to sell my ticket to somebody else amid rumours of fans being able to get more than one Cup Final Ticket per Season Ticket. Typical! Luckily, if there's one thing I like doing it's complaining, and after a sternly worded letter in which I said (no lie), "This whole episode has left me questioning my allegiance to a club that has taken plenty from me in the last 10 years but given nothing." We were given tickets by West Ham for just £25 each. So after much drinking and singing on a sunny afternoon in Wales, my friends and I found ourselves in the top row of the ground up in the gods behind one of the goals, we murmured Abide With Me, too drunk to read the words properly (the whole thing was not how I'd imagined it would be in my dreams when I was younger). The game kicked off and before I know it we're 2-0 up. Me being me, I didn't for second allow myself to believe we'd won the game at 2-0 and Liverpool soon proved me right, pulling the game back to 2-2 pretty soon after half time. The part of the game where I had thought we'd won was when Konchesky had put West Ham back ahead with the cross shot, I can still remember saying to myself, "20 seconds to go! I can't believe we've won the cup, 1964, 1975, 1980 and 200... Who's closing Gerrard down...?!?!"

2007 Chelsea v Manchester United
The first FA Cup Final back at Wembley, awful! But for the fact that I didn't have to go and try on new school trousers this was probably the worst I've seen. See 1996 and swap CANTONA! for DROGBA!

2008 Portsmouth v Cardiff
Another disappointing final for me. Stands out because I correctly predicted the score in both the Semi Finals and the Final but didn't have the nerve to put money on any of the games, damn my lack of nerve when it comes to gambling. This one was also a bit of a mismatch, Kanu tried to level things up by doing his best to not put the game to bed but Portsmouth got there in the end.

So that's it, 10 memorable FA Cup Finals, hopefully the FA will move next years edition (the 2,483,845,782nd Cup Final) back to it's proper time of 3pm on a Saturday afternoon. Oh, and can it be after the Premier League has finished please!