"Game's Gone!" The Penaltification of Football

 

Guess who's back! Back again...!

It's taken another death for me to put metaphorical pen to metaphorical paper. Although this one isn't an actual living being, thank goodness; I don't want my blog to become a glorified obituaries column.

This post has been on the cards for some time now to be honest. I once did a 10 things I like about Football, back in the early days of this blog, and I may have even done a 10 things I hate... back then too (ahh the days when I was childless and would post multiple times in a month, occasionally a week, good times)? If I did this thing would have made it.

The last decade or so has seen the game slowly and steadily move away from its purest form, FA cup finals have been moved to the late afternoon to accommodate TV audiences in far flung parts of the World; League championships in major European football nations have become predictable (see Juventus, Bayern, PSG, Olympiakos, Celtic etc) due to the widening financial gap between those at the top and their rivals; We've implemented a system that see's large pauses in top level games with referees, fans and television pundits pouring over endless slow-motion replays and punishes players for being 10 centimetres "offside" in the pursuit of achieving flawless officiating; And we've recently seen 12 of the richest teams in the World lobbying for a closed competition, where they face no jeopardy for a bad run of performances and get given a sh*t ton of money for the privilege, leaving behind the rest of the football pyramid within each of their respective domestic setups. Marvellous!

It feels like barely a few weeks pass before we hear fans and pundits clutching their pearls and pointing to the latest outrage. The death of Football. "The Game's gone!" Has become such a familiar cry. So much so that it's become a football cliché, and subsequently a topic of conversation on one of my favourite contemporary football podcasts at the moment; the aptly named, Football Cliché's Podcast.

There was recently (well a few weeks or even months ago) an episode dedicated to this trope in, which discussion focused on the many factors that cause those that love the game to utter the above words. And an attempt was made to pinpoint the exact moment at which the game Went. And that got me thinking.

Many people will point to the early 1990's and seismic events such as the formation of the Premier League or Champions League, or the introduction of the concept of football being broadcast via Satellite Pay TV. Or later on when clubs started spending tens of millions of pounds, or Euros depending on where you live, on single signings. Or that time when Man United dropped out of the FA Cup only to get their a**es handed to them by Romario and Edmundo (with Barry Davies on the comms [Insert cool/sunglasses emoji]).

For me though, football died, or went. Long before that. A couple of decades before. When something was introduced that completely changed what we attempting to get out of the beautiful game. The first of the nails in the game's coffin was in my eyes, this introduction of the Penalty Shoot-out.

Now hear me out. I understand the logistical argument that can be made to counter the point I'm about to make. But in response to that I question how we managed to cope without penalties in the 90 to 100 years before they became a part of the game (barring the 1968 European Championship semi final). I also question why it has to be so expensive for fans of the two teams who have to do it all again in a week/a fortnight/a few days time. Surely there are some other issues that should have been addressed.

So here's my argument.

Picture this: It's the 1860's. Rules have been drawn up to codify this exciting new game all the cool kids are playing called Association Football (latterly abbreviated to "Soccer"). Teams start to form in pockets of the UK and begin to play matches of the new game against each other and it's a roaring success. But how do you make things interesting? How do you systematically determine who the best, and worst, teams who play Association Football are?

Well back then those guys come up with another idea. A competition. The Football Association Challenge Cup. The premise is simple. A set of teams enter and are drawn randomly against each other. The winner of each tie/match advances to play again and the loser is eliminated. Culminating in the best two teams (or best two that have avoided being drawn against each other) playing in a grand showdown at the end. Like reaching the final boss on a Computer Game 115+ years later.

The tournament is a success, each game draws attention from large crowds all wanting to catch a glimpse of the spectacle that is playing out. But there's one issue. Are the Winners or "Cup Finalists" actually the best teams to have entered that year's competition? Or are they just the most fortuitous? Have the best two teams already been drawn to play each other at an earlier stage? Or did the best team have an off day or suffer the misfortune of injuries to players at key times in the competition? The only way to settle this is by staging a "Round Robin" style tournament where all the teams play each other, home and away, with points being awarded to the victor in each match...

You see where I'm going with this right? That blossoms into tournaments in other countries, then between nations, then between the champions within each nation etc etc.

But in each case the brief is clear. The spectacle is well defined. We are witnessing a game of Association Football between two teams. Much like a game of Poker where money is laid at stake, the jeopardy makes that contest even more interesting. As does often the preconceived notion of how the contest may play out, which often comes from memories of previous competitive encounters between the two sides. But we are here to watch a game of Association Football, just like we were in 1872, and 1888, and 1930.

Or are we?

This is where the "Penaltification" begins. In knockout matches, i.e. those where the loser stands to be eliminated from the competition, there are instances where the two competitors are so evenly matched that after 90 minutes of Association Football both teams have scored the same number of games. The solution at first was simple. Extend the match by 30 minutes. Surely a winner will be determined as fatigue set in? The spectators would also love to see an extra half an hour of drama. But what if a winner still can't be determined after a 120 minutes?

The answer is simple to me, and was to the rule makers for some 80 or 90 years. Play again. We want to see the contest between the two sides, especially two so evenly matched, and we want to determine a victor. It's a no brainer for me. I love football, so let me watch some more.

Then something changed. Somewhere along the lines the desire to award a victor overcame that to watch the contest. We, or the rule makers, decided to take one aspect of the game a situation usually used to penalise infringements close to One's own goal. A situation that statistically only occurs once in every five games. And decided that the outcome of the contest would be decided purely based on each team's ability to convert an uncontested shot 12 yards from goal.

Now I understand the premise. I understand why this would appear to some as a perfect way to settle a deadlocked contest. It's a test of One's nerve and provides additional drama/jeopardy for all involved.  But is it Association Football though? Not in my eyes. It's a very small aspect of the game. Why not ask the teams to take turns at taking or defending against other Set Pieces? Like direct free kicks just outside the box or corners? Why not have one on one situations, like those trialled in the early days of MLS, where a player is passed through on goal and has to beat the keeper?

I also understand that there was or is a desire to settle the contest. As mentioned earlier, I get that there are logistical and financial challenges behind replaying the contest a few days or weeks later. But are there? We coped before, at a time when the game had less investment, when domestic and international travel was more arduous and time consuming, and when squads were much smaller, to the point that the concept of a "squad" wasn't even a thing.

So we now have a situation where, as mentioned earlier, the desire to settle the contest between the two teams and move on to the next phase actually outweighs that of the audience's will to watch a game of Associated Football between two contestants. Now if you think I'm being dramatic in saying that, ask yourself why in some competitions we no longer even have the extended 30 minute period to determine a winner?

We've gotten to a place now where we just want to get the football match over with; and subsequently we value finishing 4th in the Premier League (or in some cases any place from 17th upwards) over winning these individual contests and potentially being crowned the overall Victor in the Football Association Challenge Cup. Where fans and pundits seem to get more excited and expend more energy talking about potential signings, even when we know that signing the best players in the World at that time guarantees nothing, see Eden Hazard at Real Madrid and Di Maria at Man United as two examples.

We'd rather the suits hand the cheque out so we can speculate about who our team may be able to sign. We'd rather muse over potential takeovers by Billionaires with no previous connection to the club they are looking to purchase or the surrounding communities, KNOWING how bad that has panned out for some clubs. We'd rather our teams qualified for European competitions that we have next to no chance of actually competing in, or making it to the "Promised Land" of the Premier League, even if it is for a 12 month stint where a place in the bottom 3 is almost a nailed on certainty.

The next stage is for us to scrap the match and just play the Penalty Shoot-out, or even scrap the Shoot-out determine the winner (and hand out the resulting multi-million pound novelty cheques) based on transfer activity or social media presence. Or maybe "History" that seems to be something that everyone is hung up on? Why watch an actual game of Association Football when you can just revel your team's achievements in them 40 years ago?

I just want to watch a football match, preferably at 3pm on a Saturday!! Bring back FA Cup Replays! Actually I JUST WANT TO WATCH A MATCH OF ASSOCIATION FOOTBALL like they did in 1872!

Anyone got the highlights of The Wanderers vs The Old Etonians?

PS I'd also like to point out that it is very rare that two teams will draw multiple ties against each-other, except for that time Arsenal played Leeds in the FA Cup back when I was a kid and they ended up like a round behind everyone else! AND I'd like to point out that we'd never had a 0-0 FA Cup Final until they scrapped the replay in favour of Penalties; then we had that awful Arsenal (Invincibles on the decline) v Man United Final.

Sisters are doing it for themselves

A month of Women’s football having the centre stage is over, and I’m back writing about it again. The FIFA Women’s World Cup ended yesterday with the reigning champions the United States clinching a comfortable 2-0 victory over a spirited yet lacking Dutch side in front of nearly 60,000 people in Lyon.

I was one of the nearly 60,000, it was my first World Cup game, I’ve been to both the European Championships and the Olympics, the set is now complete. Or is it? Many of you will be screaming, “WOMEN’S FOOTBALL IS NOT THE SAME!” Well here are my thoughts on the state of the game.

1. The Standard
I get a lot of people (men) saying to me (mocking the sport), “I can’t watch it. The standard is awful. They’d get battered by a non-league men’s side…” You guys are completely, often intentionally, missing the point. The standard has improved vastly since the last World Cup in Canada (that I also watched religiously); the game has got quicker and more physical with the increased investment that has gone into creating professional leagues across Europe.

Now I wholeheartedly agree, it’s not as fast as the men’s game; and yes any half decent men’s team would wipe the floor with the back to back World Champions. But is that why we like football? “We” (those who follow men’s football) constantly berate other fans for not supporting their local team, and the minority are lucky enough to follow/support clubs who are consistently challenging in the upper echelons of the football pyramid. So why is the quality of the game all of a sudden it selling point? I’d argue that the quality of the game dramatically decreases once you drop down from the sides that contest European places in every major European league. Drop to the second tier and it deminishes further. Why do non-league clubs exist (and get regular airplay on BT Sport in the UK), why is the third round of the FA Cup so “Magical”? Why are we watching anything other than El Classico and Liverpool v Man City if the standard of the game is so key to its enjoyment?

The answer is simple, the argument that the standard isn’t good enough isn’t true. It’s is lazy one peddled by those not willing to give the Women’s game their time. Now let me caveat that comment with, we (you) are free to watch, and not watch whatever we want. And we (you) don’t have to justify your football preferences to anyone. But I do feel we need to understand what we’re watching and why.

Football’s (sport in general’s) attraction comes from the contest and the context in which it is set. Hence nobody cares about The International Champions Cup or whatever those tournaments are called when Bayern Munich, Man United and Co. go off to China or the US in July and play each other. The standard is top notch there right? Granted there may be a few youth players fielded but we’re talking the very top of the game. Yet I couldn’t tell you one thing that’s happened in any of those “competitions” in the past. We are drawn to football (sport, as above) because of its narrative. The narrative of the contest. The teams we like, the teams we dislike, the effect that the result of a game that may not necessarily feature your team will have on your team’s fortunes. Your pre-conceived ideas around the relative strengths of each of the combatants; and the impression that the subsequent result of each game will leave with you. THIS is why we (you) are attracted, it’s like a perpetual Netflix series that has the possibility to throw up the wildest and most unbelievable storylines.

Women’s football can do this just as much as the men’s game can. You’ve just got to give it a chance to teach you the narrative.

2. Equality
I’m not asking for equality. Certainly not. I acknowledged above that the standard of the women’s game is somewhat off that of the men’s equivalent. It may never achieve parity in terms of the standard.

All of this being said I’m also not arguing against equality either. Yesterday afternoon Gianni Infantino came out to present the trophy to the triumphant Americans and was roundly booed. I genuinely was one of the first to start booing (by the way I’m not for one second suggesting that I led 60,000 people in the condemnation of the incumbent FIFA president), but I did so because I feel that Infantino is ruining our game in the interests of his own financial gain. Yes I acknowledge that the same accusation can be levelled at his predecessor and maybe even his predecessor’s predecessor; but Infantino is so much worse. The very fact that he’s changed the rules around re-election so much that he’ll either die or retire in the position tells you everything you need to know about the budding despot. This is all for a different post anyway.

When the booing died down, a chant rose from the predominantly female American crowd. “Equal Pay! Equal Pay…!” And I stopped and thought about what they were saying. As I said I have no problem with a woman footballer (or any other female professional) earning as much as their male counterpart, but it must be earned. This Women’s World Cup has largely been a success, but let’s temper our emotions. I often hear non-football fans moaning about how much professional footballers earn, especially in comparison with other, more useful jobs in society.

My response is always the same, professional footballers earn what they’re worth. All of the money that goes into their pay packets is earned through television deals, sponsorships and prize money, which they’ve generated themselves. Football is a business, no football club, with sensible owners in place (Leeds and Portsmouth fans know what I mean by this), pays footballers money they don’t already have or have the potential to earn. Players are paid as much as they are because market forces dictate their salaries. Nobody is forced to pay Messi millions of pounds a year. Barcelona know that in doing so they are making an investment that will make them millions more; and that if they don’t pay those millions someone else will, and they’ll overtake them and grab their share of the television/prize money.

The same goes for female players. If a club stands to make a significant profit they’ll pay Premier League footballer wages to one of their players one day. Unfortunately at this moment in time the financial rewards for winning the top competitions aren’t in the same bracket as the ones in the men’s game. And unfortunately it’s not as easy as just saying, “Make the prize money equal”. Television rights and sponsorship make up so much of the sport’s funding, when that starts to look like it does in the men’s game then maybe we’ll start to see some sort parity.

3. Comparisons
A lot of this post is all about parity. I’m aware that a lot of female players and fans of the game don’t want to compare the two forms of the game, but unfortunately we’re all guilty of doing it. It’s impossible. You have an absolute juggernaut in terms of entertainment and revenue generation, being played out in a mirror-like fashion, people are going to draw comparisons for both negative and positive reasons.

In terms of the games standing it may or may not ever achieve parity but I feel like it’s developing rapidly. I’ve seen complaints that yesterday’s final was held on the same day as that of the Copa America and African Nations round of 16 games. Unfortunately those established competitions (the Copa America has been going longer than any other International competition) aren’t going to be moved, and I don’t think that the Copa America final being held on the same day was a slight on the Women’s game, especially with it being hours after. It’s more a reflection of how jam packed the football calendar is becoming, especially with Women’s football being given a bigger stage.

If anyone wants a sign of how the parity of coverage is changing, they need to look at the fact that the last World Cup final in Canada was held at 12am UK time (1am CET) and not a single eyebrow was raised in this part of the world. That will not, and should not, ever happen again.

The second thing that needs to be considered when comparing the two sports is their relative stages of development. Men’s football has been developing in a professional capacity for the last 60 to 100 years, depending on when you determine the advent of professionalism is. Women’s on the other hand has only been doing so for the last decade, if that, although rapidly due to the technology available to us and the fact that the men’s game can be used as a template.

If you want a clear sign of this then look to the fact that the US have just won back to back World Cups. A feat not achieved in the men’s game since 1962. Why? Because the men’s game is so developed and global that in four years a squad of “World Beaters”, deemed to have reached the pinnacle of the sport can be reduced to a bunch of “Has-beens” living off of old usurped tactical systems that even the most mediocre of international sides can handle.

The same goes for drubbings. The US put thirteen past Thailand in the group stage of this year’s competition, this just wouldn’t happen in a men’s World Cup (I am aware of the Brazil v Germany semi in 2014, but that result was a culmination of pressure and an emotional response to Neymar’s injury, as opposed to the sides being so far apart in ability, and it wasn't 13-0). Men’s football is so global nowadays that even nations with no real historical pedigree either have players who play in the top leagues and the later rounds of European competitions; or coaches with similar experience.

By that token I don’t think Marta’s, exceptional, World Cup goalscoring record can be compared with Ronaldo (I’m not just saying this because he’s my second favourite player ever) or Miroslav Klose as I seen on social media. The fact is goals are easier (note I said easier, not easy) to score in the Women’s game because of the gap between those at the top and the lesser teams. That being said in the context of being able to go to a quadrennial professional sporting competition and perform consistently enough to score as many goals as Marta has; it’s an amazing feat.

4. America
God! We’ve had years of football being “Our thing”, and the Americans (those who cared) being glad to be a part of it. I am well aware that the Americans have always been good at the Women’s version of the game; but this double win, coupled with the increased coverage of this year’s competition seems to have magnified their success and the exuberant patriotism that comes with it. They already dominate the support and the medal boards during the Olympics and now it’s transitioned to women’s football.

Listen I’m up for a bit of national pride, and the coming together to celebrate a sporting victory, and I appreciate that international football (sport) is intertwined with nationalism, we parade flags and sing national anthems before each contest. But there’s something about the Hacksaw Jim Duggan-esque whooping and chanting of “You! Ess! Ayy!” that irks me, even if I am delighted that Rapinoe and Co. have basically stuck it to President Trump and his administration.

I feel like that’s enough of me rambling, I’m out now! Give women’s football a chance (West Ham got to a cup final, for crying out loud)! See you all at Euro 2021… x

The State of Football: August 2017 - ANNOUNCE!

The new season is back!

It feels like only a few weeks ago that we were laughing at Arsenal Fan TV and making jokes about Sp*rs "Putting on the pressure".

A part of me is happy to see the football back. Anyone who has read my previous posts will know that I'm not a massive advocate of the Best League in the World (or "Most Competitive" when England flop at a tournament or ANOTHER "inferior" French team knocks one of ours out of Europe). This time last year I wrote about how unenthused I was at the prospect to watching more Burnley v West Brom, with Martin Tyler telling me how great it was.

All this being said, even I get a little excited every August and find myself watching Premier League games in the first few weeks of the season that I wouldn't even check for score updates come February!

A part of me is just happy that the nonsense of the summer break is almost behind us. What has happened to the game? I don't even care about Neymar going to PSG for almost £200m. Don't get me wrong that's a bit silly but the fee was more about the release clause in his contract than the craziness of football.

In fact, as much as I think paying £20m+ for the average Premier League footballer is a bit ridiculous, that doesn't actually concern me much. I have bigger gripes with the modern game and the absurdities we are subjected to in the summer. It all starts with the kit leaks in late April/early May. Last I checked nobody won the league because of their shiny new purple Underarmour 3rd kit! I really couldn't give a toss about dimly lit pictures of tops that 90% of the time turn out to be either fake or just a kids training top.

And then there's the actual kit launch! OK you've got a new kit. Like I said before, it has little or no bearing on your success on the pitch (obviously there's the theory Re teams that wear red), so I have very little interest in elaborate marketing campaigns or abstract "Reveal" videos being posted on Instagram!

Really?

As if it couldn't get any worse, we then have the player unveiling and the manufactured drama that is Transfer Deadline Day. I'll get on to the videos, but I just need to air something first. If you are an organisation who turns over millions of pounds a year and you have a fixed window of 2 months (1 in the winter) where you can make appointments that will potentially grow the business exponentially, why would you leave it all down to the last 24 hours of that window and have some idiot in a yellow tie running around after you slowing the whole process down? Surely if the asset you were acquiring was so valuable to you (99% of the time costing you millions of pounds) you'd give yourself as much time as possible to get the deal done? This isn't qualifying in F1 where you let the track get hot and got out and do a flying lap as late as possible (I don't think that happens anymore due to the rule changes, but I don't follow F1 since it got silly and started having night races and Grand Prix with double points, I mean what next? A red shell?  A la Mario Kart?)!*

Then when the team does sign the player, we're then treated to ANOTHER elaborately abstract unveiling video via the club's official Twitter account. And until this happens you have 15 year old boys up and down the country angrily tweeting "ANNOUNCE [SUPERSTAR PLAYER X]!" at the club?!?
As if Roman Abramovic is going to get a call from his Director of Football or whoever it is that arranges transfers saying, "Sir! Calum in West Hampstead has tweeted us again! He really wants Benzema!"
Abramovic: "Get me on the phone to Florentino Perez! I'm not losing another follower...!!"
What happened to the days of literally not knowing anything until Andrea Silenzi turns up on the back pages of the newspaper, in a home shirt (with shoes and trousers on), holding a stretched out scarf above his head in front of an empty main stand?

It was for all of the above reasons that I was glad to take in my first full game last Sunday in the form of Marseille against Dijon, and then watched the majority of Arsenal v Leicester last night.

I'm sure I've said it before here, and will probably do so again, but... Football! What have they done to you?

On the subject of launch videos, this is the best you'll ever see. I was in the Co-op yesterday and they (aptly on the 25th anniversary of the launch of the Premier League) were playing Alive And Kicking. 

*Many deals are arranged outside of the window to be concluded as soon as it opens, so there really is no excuse for leaving it until that bloody day that Sky have invented!