In the beginning…

So what’s this all about? If you follow me on Twitter or you’re lucky enough to be a friend of mine on Facebook you’ll have probably noticed I say the odd witty thing or two and I'm prone to rant every now and then. I had the idea of writing a blog a while ago and spoke to a friend (who shall remain nameless) who was also considering writing one, but I faced a massive question when thinking of creating a blog, what the hell am I going to write about?? Especially what the hell do I have to say that people on the internet will want to hear? Well this first entry is going to kind of give an outline of what to expect from me on here and probably scare a few of you off.

Who am I? I’m Travis Nigel Newton, I included the ‘Nigel’ cos I like my middle name despite the fact that every time someone discovers it’s my middle name they say the same thing, “Nigel?? Really? Oh! …I mean it’s ok as a middle name I suppose…”. I digress (I do a lot of that) as I was saying, I’m Travis Nigel Newton and I’m a 31 year old divorcee from North London, I’m basically a black cockney Elizabeth Taylor, except for I’ve only been married the once so far. This is the bit where it gets interesting (I think) I consider myself an aspiring comedian. Let me manage your expectations, I’ve written down a fair bit of material and have done some open mic stand-up comedy a handful of times in the past year, HOWEVER I’m no Peter Kay or Michael Macintyre or even that other Macintyre fella that goes around exposing crooks. So expect many a cheap gag in here (there’s been a few already) but don’t hate me if I’m not that funny.

In addition to making comments to people that have the potential to tickle them I watch a lot of football and cricket, see where I’m going with this. So this blog will a lot of times end up being a brain dump of my observations and opinions on these two subjects especially football, hence its name. My aim is to post an entry on here two or three times a week and at times when I have a lot to say or there is a lot going on in my world then maybe I’ll treat you to maybe four or five entries.

On to the title of the blog, this comes from a phrase I hear every time there is a major football championship on, in other words every two years, and a friend invites me out or suggests watching something other than the football while there is a game on TV that I want to see (which is pretty much every game). My name is Travis and I’m addicted to major international football tournaments! I feel almost relieved to have got that off my chest, like an alcoholic at their first AA meeting, except for I don’t want to give up my addiction. No way! On top of my guilty pleasure, which isn’t even that ‘guilty’ I’m a bit of a geek when it comes to them. See I’ve got a degree in History, naturally I’m not doing anything directly related to it career wise like 99% of graduates, but my interest in History has made me a massive freak for facts and figures and on top of that I’ve got a ridiculously good memory. For example I can remember sitting in my mum’s living room in the summer of 1990 at the age of 9 watching Francoise Oman Biyik heading Cameroon into the lead in the opening game of the World Cup. I actually missed the goal because being a 9 year old with an attention span the length of Spurs’ current unbeaten run, I’d got up to go and get a yoghurt. I kid you not when I say this, I remember that game, I even remember that it was on ITV and that the first game that BBC showed it that tournament was Romania v The USSR the next day. That’s right The USSR to any kids reading this (pfft, like kids read these days, all they do is mug each other in hoodies for Pokémon cards), back when I was a kid they wore red just like in Rocky IV and had CCCP on their shirts, for years I actually thought it was a sponsor, and we were all scared of them cos they were evil communists who were going to launch nuclear weapons at us. In addition to all this they were pretty handy when it came to sporting events, maybe that’s what England/Team GB need this summer to be successful in Euro 2012 and the Olympics? A communist government! Anyway I’m massively digressing again, the point is I love all that stuff and treasure every memory like an old man handing out Worther’s Originals to his grandchildren. Who remembers Ray Houghton stunning Italy in 1994 on that Saturday evening or Zubizarreta fumbling that Nigerian cross into his own goal in 1998? I bloody well do, and let me tell you something about all the games I’ve mentioned so far, England weren’t playing in any of them. I’d have missed all of those moments had I restricted myself to just the games that England were playing in, don’t get me wrong, every so often you sit and watch an absolute stinker at one of these major tournaments, Bulgaria v Paraguay in 1998 WAS NOT a classic nor was Bolivia v South Korea in 1994 or any of Greece’s games in Euro 2004 (Greece were basically the international equivalent to Sam Allardyce’s Bolton side). That being said I can guarantee  anyone reading this who knows me well enough to invite me to attend a social event this June, you will need to give it some serious thought. I’m not saying I won’t attend, I’m not saying I won’t enjoy myself or that I’ll hate you. What I am saying though is “…but England aren’t even playing” is not a selling point!

Hope you enjoy my ranting…