If you have no idea what I'm on about. Then shame on you! I am of course referring to Kevin Keegan's famous outburst at the end of the 1995/96 season after his Newcastle side had surrendered a seemingly unassailable 12 point lead to the "mind gaming" Alex Ferguson and his Manchester United side.
It's one of the all time great moments in the Premier league's
In my case it wasn't Stan Colleymore and Liverpool who facilitated in the dream snatching (I think that would have somehow made it feel a little better) it was the likes of Astra Girigou, Watford and West Brom. Dimitri Payet and the hapless Darren Randolph.
Any regular readers of this blog (not sure if are many, if any, of you left after my 9 month hiatus) will remember my first post of the new season, written on the eve of the start of the Premier League. In which I stated in no uncertain terms that I was far from enthused by the prospect of what was about to come. Unfortunately I have a knack for getting these things right, and the one thing I was looking forward to this season ended up being a bit of a disappointment.
That thing was West Ham's move to the London Stadium. Which I now can't even bring myself to mockingly refer to as the, "Estadio Olimipico". A move that Karen Brady has subsequently referred to as, "The most successful stadium migration ever". For me this began with 6 months of "kettling" outside of a large shopping center and being threatened with eternal expulsion from West Ham games, for daring to stand up and create some atmosphere during some of the most tepid performances known to man. All was not how Brady and the Davids had painted it would be; and at one point I actually had a serious think regarding whether I wanted to continue with my season ticket, which I've held for 13 years now.
In the interests of providing a fair perspective on the move to the new ground. Things have been much better in the last few months. And all the talk of being miles away from the pitch in generally either sensationalism or jealousy (although I'm not sure why people are so jealous of us). But this whole episode will still have left many fans wondering whether we've made an awful mistake.
On the pitch large parts of this season were also an absolute horror show. Now, I've had any optimism beaten out of me through years of disappointment, so don't get me wrong I did not expect us to have as good a season as we did last year. For a start there was no way we could get 4 points off of the likes of Chelsea, United, Arsenal and City again. Or 6 from Liverpool. Not all in the same season. But what I hadn't expected was things like losing at home to Watford after racing to a 2-0 lead. Or to getting thumped away at West Brom.
I also hadn't expected Dimitri Payet to be so poor and his stay at the club to end in such a manner. Now don't get me wrong. I knew he was trouble. I can't remember whether I'd mentioned or even alluded to this last season, but when Payet signed for us it wasn't the first I'd seen or heard of him. There was a clear reason why a player of his capability, signed for a club of our stature. Whether that was because he often went missing when the going got tough, something I'd pointed to last year. Or that he had a bit of an attitude problem. He was never going to win the Ballon D'or. But I expected more! More than two great individual goals against Accrington and Middlesbrough followed by a Pierre Van Hooijdonk-esque strike. Shame on you Dimitri!
Then there was Slav. Now I'm "Slav In". Can you believe we live in an age where you have to be "in" or "out" with your manager. It's all gotten a bit much if you ask me, but that's for another blog post. Slav has definitely done some bad things in my eyes, dropping a keeper that was one of the best in the teams outside of the top 4-6 (and better than Liverpool's keepers) because of a couple of errors. Madness! This stuff always resonates with me because it's the position I always played, but everyone in the side makes mistakes. The keeper's are just the ones that get more attention. Plus there was absolutely no way Adrian was to blame for our miserable start to the season. Then there was Gokan Tore, what the hell was/is Gokan Tore?!? He was "your boy" Slav! Not good enough. Nordveit. Nordveit? Another one that I can't fathom. Was he a Slav signing? Who knows? All I'll say is, don't bring him on unless you have an unassailable lead! Don't bring him on to close out the Tottenham game...!
On the subject of Adrian there was of course his replacement Darren Randolph. Darren Randolph cost West Ham so many points this season. In fact he cost us points at the end of last season when he filled in against Swansea at home. And I'm not even talking about the obvious stuff like parrying the ball to Harry Winks, dropping the ball against Liverpool, the soft goals at the Emirates; or Sunderland. Yes Sunderland! Just Sunderland! The whole game, where it looked like they were playing me out there! People need to understand that goalkeeping is about command of your area and communication with your defence. Yes you need to be agile and you definitely need to be able to catch but the key thing is the relationship you have with the back line and how much they trust you to do the right thing when play comes anywhere near your goal.
It is for this reason that, while I think he's a decent young goalkeeper, I don't have an orgasm every time I watch David De Gea play. And the same reason why I seriously rate Theobaut Courtois and Hugo Lloris way more than the average pundit does. These are also things that Darren Randolph struggles to do. The West Ham social media accounts can show as many spectacular looking tips over the bar and round the post as they want. Anyone who has played football in goal regularly will know that while these things are far from easy to do they are not what separates those that pay to play football from those that are paid vast sums of money to play football. It's like defending. The best central defenders are the ones who snuff danger out through their positioning and ability to read the game. As opposed to those constantly flying in making, more impressive looking, recovery tackles.
In my mind there is no coincidence that our best defensive displays have come with Adrian in goal. A defence that does not trust their keeper make silly mistakes trying to anticipate what he may, or may not, be about to do!
Of course it wasn't all Slav. I'm not sure to what extent, but the consensus is that he and the likes of Payet were promised better signings than Gokan Tore and Nordveit. For a start we fans were! Then there's the fact that his job seems to have been under threat on numerous occasions with no consideration made for the context of previous matches or relative strength of opponents. It's all been a bit crazy and can't have produced a settling atmosphere for either Slav or the players.
So in all it was a bit of dire season. Mix that in with fact that the Premier League wasn't that entertaining this year (the best team in it was probably Tottenham) and I'm not that fussed that there's only one game to go. Thank God and good riddance!
On a positive note this season I discovered an amazing podcast called "Quickly Kevin" which reminisces about the best decade in football that I've experienced (the 90s). If you like Barry Davies, Brian Moore, World Cup theme tunes, Matt Le Tissier, and anecdotes relating to players like Efan Ekokou then give it a listen! Check me out plugging them for nothing!
Another reason to be cheerful is that the Confederations Cup begins in exactly a month today! More to follow...
Oh football! What have they done to you?!
